


Reaching Back for Me

by SpiritQuartz



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 58,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritQuartz/pseuds/SpiritQuartz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Duke follows Audrey into the Barn to save her, they must both learn to save each other. Can love truly conquer all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Have a Nice Trip

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Haven. I'd have taken better care of it. No copyright infringement intended.
> 
> Song for this story is 'Holding Out for a Hero' by Bonnie Tyler.
> 
> This story is dedicated to DixieSiryn and all the fans dedicated to keeping Haven alive in literature.

Running into the Barn reminded Duke of an experience he'd had surfing.

He'd been riding a beautiful wave, flying on top of the world when the tide turned and he slammed into a wall of water. Everything around him changed, the light flickering into a kaleidoscope of color, sound drowned out by the roar of water around him.

Now, like then, there was no air and he couldn't tell up from down. Colors swirled crazily against the white around him like he was being held in the arms of a prism.

It felt like either a moment or a lifetime- same thing, really- when he thumped hard into a flat, dusty wooden surface. It knocked what was left of his breath out of him, and it took a few minutes to recover.

"...the fuck?" Duke muttered, pushing himself up to look around. Crates, bottles, the familiar smell; he was in a bar somewhere, back room if he were to bet. How the hell did he jump into a barn and exit into a bar? Maybe the fact that it was some extra-dimensional supernatural Barn with a capital 'B' should have tipped him off.

It hadn't. It really fucking hadn't.

He stood, taking a moment to get his balance. This place.... it was weird, it didn't look at all familiar, yet it felt more welcoming- more like home- than anywhere he could think of. His clothes hadn't changed. Everything felt normal. Calm. Comfortable.

Too comfortable. God, what was happening in Haven? Was Nathan alright? Please, please let him be okay. He hoped he'd managed to kill Jordan. The bitch.

He walked into the main bar, looking around and taking everything in. He was especially struck by the unlit neon letter that changed 'barn' to 'bar'. It gave him a chill. Bonnie Tyler played from an old jukebox.

They sure as hell weren't in Kansas anymore.

"Hey there. What can I get you, Captain Jack?"

His body went rigid with excitement and his heart restarted, though he hadn't known it had stopped. He knew that voice. Would know it anywhere. He dreamed about that voice every night. That throaty, warm, beautiful voice and his eyes pricked painfully with tears that begged for release, turning to see her face.

Different, yes. Makeup screamed 'vixen', hair was longer, darker and streaked. She had a nose ring! She looked like bits of all the personalities had cobbled together in a hurry to make someone knew. Maybe too much of a hurry.

Maybe Audrey wasn't totally gone yet.

He had to fight the instinct to grab her and hug her. But she didn't remember him, didn't know him. This wasn't Audrey any more or less than Audrey had been Lucy. The same, but different.

He stared only a moment too long before slipping into an easy smile. "Whatever you're having...." he cajoled, trying to draw out her name.

"Lexie. I'm a scotch girl myself, but I never turn down a good Screaming Orgasm or Sex on the Beach." She smirked at him.

"Lexie. Scotch it is. For now." Duke couldn't help the teasing grin that was on his face or the warmth in his chest. She looked so beautiful, the little changes were just so... naughty. Like they were made for Duke. She was alive, healthy and _he'd managed to go with her_.

This was way better than his old plan to just sail away from Haven alone.

She poured for both of them, tapping glasses with him before she drank. "And you are?"

"Duke Crocker."

"Seriously?"

He chuckled. "My parents weren't big fans."

She tilted her head, eyes narrowed as she stared at him. She was playing with her hair where it cascaded over her breast.

"It suits you. Y'know, it's funny. My line of work, usually it's a patron saying this to me, but... You look familiar. Have we met before?"

He leaned back with a smirk, his faded denim button-up open at the top to show the cotton shirt underneath. He looked good.

"Long time ago. Another life. I can tell you about it sometime. Right now," he said, looking into her eyes with a scorching intensity, "I'm more interested in the present."

She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "And what's in the present, Duke Crocker?" She leaned toward him over the bar, and he had to be very careful to look at her eyes and not down her top. He sipped his scotch, looking Audrey- _Lexie_ , he reminded himself- up and down slowly.

"A bar, good booze and good company."

She smiled, pouring them each another drink. "To other lives then." She said with a wink.

"To other lives... and to this one." Duke drank, watching the enigma in front of him.

She had a wicked grin, her brilliant azure eyes sparkled with wit and good humor. She was relaxed and happy, young and carefree in a way Audrey had never let herself be. Her smile wasn't the forced grimace of the last few weeks. No guns, no Troubles, no threats or curses or deadlines.

No Haven.

The peace suited her, and she was so beautiful and graceful as she moved, a smile always playing on her lips, that his chest ached. He wanted to touch her.

Duke stood and went to the jukebox, flipping through the lists until he found something appropriate. As the first strains of 'I Would do Anything for Love' played, he closed his eyes and smiled. As the opening instrumental played, he came back to Lexie.

"Dance with me." Duke urged, hand out in invitation. She paused a moment, but came around the bar to take his hand.

He pulled her against him, dancing with her. She smelled the same, felt the same. She fit into his arms like she'd been born for him, and he could tell she was interested in him. There was a thrill- not a spark, nothing so trite and Hollywood as that- but when their skin touched even the smallest bit, the feeling that passed between them was undeniable. Attraction and something deeper, older than the universe.

They danced, spinning faster as the song picked up, and before he realized, he was singing. "And I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way." How true this song was. She owned him.

His heart skipped when her voice sounded, rich as warm honey. He'd never heard Audrey sing.

"Will you raise me up? Will you help me down?

Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?

Will you make it all a little less cold?" Her eyes didn't leave his as she sang.

He stared back, the hand on her lower back rubbing tiny circles as he sang back to her.

"I can do that.

I can do that."

"Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?

Can you colorize my life? I'm so sick of black and white.

Can you make it all a little less old?"

"I can do that. Oh, I can do that."

Her voice rose, she sang with her soul, and the air around them felt heavy, pressurized. The sound was beautiful, but it was more than just having a good voice. He didn't just _hear_ the words, he felt them around and inside him. Her soul was speaking to his.

"Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?

Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?

Can you give me something I can take home?"

"I can do that.

I can do that."

She pressed closer, her body flush against his.

"Will you cater to every fantasy I got?

Will you hose me down with holy water if I get too hot?

Will you take me places I've never known?"

"I can do that.

Oh, I can do that."

"After a while you'll forget everything.

It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling

And you'll see that it's time to move on."

Her voice held a trace of melancholy, and he didn't think she was pretending or just singing now. He gazed intently, pouring his heart into the words.

"I won't do that.

I won't do that."

Lexie's eyes showed real, heart-rending pain for a moment. Duke ached to know what she was thinking.

"I know the territory, I've been around.

It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down.

Sooner or later you'll be screwing around."

"I won't do that.

No, I won't do that.

Anything for love

Oh, I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

No, I won't do that."

They'd stopped dancing, but stayed in the same position as they sang; her right hand raised in his left, her left hand squeezing his shoulder and his right hand spread across her low back, their bodies pressed together.

Lexie's face was tilted up, lips parted just a fraction. She was flushed, cheeks and lips pink. God, he wanted to kiss her. Duke felt her breath against his face, the faint smell of scotch and spice.

He should back up, explain. He knew he should be telling her everything immediately, that she _needed_ the truth.

But he'd spent so long being good, doing what was right; stepping back to make room for Nathan even though Nathan had been so very busy making friends with the Guard and screwing Jordan- all for Audrey, as he liked to point out to make it seem less disgusting- and Duke was with Lexie. Not Audrey.

He debated internally as they stood pressed together, and then his thoughts were interrupted when Lexie suddenly moved, raising her arms to wrap them around his neck, pulling him down and pressing her lips to his.


	2. Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own them.

Lexie didn't kiss like Audrey. She knew what she was doing, why she was doing it and she had no qualms or mixed feelings. But damn, she was still the best kisser ever.

Duke kissed her back immediately, like his body understood everything that his brain hadn't wrapped around.

After what felt like hours, Lexie pulled back, breathing hard. This... Lexie had seen a lot of bizarre shit in her life, but this was a whole new level. Not kissing a stranger- she'd done that before- but this _guy_.

He was gorgeous, and not in a 'pretty boy, boy band' way. His face was unique, he had a kind of bad-boy appeal and she didn't doubt he could be dangerous if he needed to, but his eyes... his eyes looked young and ancient at the same time, too gentle to be dangerous to her. She felt like she knew those eyes, and he looked at her like he knew her, too. Something was scratching at the back of her mind.

"Another life, huh?" Lexie breathed as the guy - _Duke_ , she reminded herself- ran his nose from her collar bone up to her ear, his hands still on her waist.

"Something like that." Duke murmured, kissing her pulse.

Lexie focused again, looking away from him for a moment.

What the hell? Where was everyone? She knew there were 3 guys in here, she'd just served them- a gin and tonic, bourbon neat and tequila sunrise. They couldn't have reached the door without passing her. Their table was empty, bussed; even the glasses gone.

Distracted, Lexie pressed her hand against Duke's chest, holding up the index finger of her other hand.

"Shh for a sec. I need to check something. Don't.... don't go anywhere."

Lexie had a bad feeling; something was very wrong. She had the most bizarre worry that if she left Duke alone, _he'd_ disappear too. The feeling was foreign to her. She wasn't a worrier by nature. She wasn't necessarily a skeptic- she'd seen a UFO in Winslow, Arizona once- but weird things didn't come to her, she stumbled onto them.

Thinking it through quickly, she grabbed Duke's hand and pulled him with her. She peered into the back room. "Rhonda? Where are you? Anyone?" Her right hand went back to her belt, feeling for... What was she feeling for? A bar towel? She patted her hip, trying to think of what she'd been reaching for.

Duke was suddenly whispering, mouth tight against Lexie's ear. "You're worried. What's up?"

"There were three guys drinking over there, and my co-worker Rhonda isn't here, though she should be. They were here, and now they're gone."

Duke took a deep breath, pulling his secondary sidearm out. He offered it to Lexie wordlessly. She looked from the gun to his eyes and back. "I don't really know much about guns."

Duke smiled slightly, amused. "It's a revolver. A 6 shot .357, there's no safety. You see a bad guy, you point and squeeze, got it? Don't point it at _anything_ you don't intend to put holes in, and keep your finger off the trigger unless you're prepared to shoot, okay?"

Lexie repeated the instructions in her head, nodding. "What about you?"

Duke reached into his waistband, pulling out another gun. Lexie raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not even asking, but only because you gave me one first."

Duke laughed. "You're safe with me. Let's check the place out, and stay with me, okay?"

Lexie shrugged and nodded. There were worse things to do that ogle a mysterious hottie.

They checked the whole place. There was nobody around.

Duke tucked his pistol into his waist band, but told Lexie to keep the backup. "Are you sure? These are expensive. People don't just give guns to strangers."

"I told you, you're not a stranger. Trust me Lexie, okay?"

She tilted her head as she stared up at him, eyes hyper-focused, obviously deep in thought.

"They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Do you believe that?"

Duke was quiet for a moment, surprised by the change in topic. "Yeah, I do. I really do."

"I remember your eyes, and I don't know why."

He gazed at her for a few seconds, finally asking, "What else do you remember?"

Lexie made the squinty face Audrey always had when she was thinking. "You... have a tattoo on your arm. On the inside, not a macho, show-off kind. Something you keep in your heart." Lexie shook her head. "I've lost my damn mind. No tat, is there?"

Duke unbuttoned his shirt and threw it over a chair, showing her the tattoo. She traced the words with soft fingers, studying them. "What about the one on your ass?"

Duke was confused. "I don't have one on my ass."

"Damn, I was hoping for a free show."

He laughed, voice rich and warm. "For that, all you had to do was ask."

Lexie smiled. "What else can I have if I just ask?"

Duke left the button-up over a chair, warm enough in his undershirt and grabbed the bottle of scotch.

"Let's play for it. You tell me something and you're right, you get a freebie or I drink. You're wrong, you drink."

"What about you? You going to reveal deep personal insights about me?"

"Sure. Why not? You'll never believe me anyway."

They settled at a table with the bottle. "Okay, barkeep. What do you remember?"

Lexie looked like she was half sure this was a joke or dream, but she never shied from a challenge, so she narrowed her eyes and stared at him intensely. "You've been a bartender."

Duke drank, then asked "How did you know?"

Her answering grin was breathtaking. "I saw you when you grabbed the bottle. Customers always have to look, and they make a mess pouring."

"That's cheating."

Lexie smiled and shrugged. "No, just creative problem solving. Fine then. You have a boat."

Duke drank again, his eyebrow raised in a silent question.

"I don't know how I know, don't bother asking. Your turn."

"You feel like you've lived a hundred lives, yet they all feel similar." Duke said quietly.

Lexie drank, but her grin had been replaced by a furrow of her brow. She thought for a long moment.

"Today isn't the first time I've kissed you." She spoke just as quietly.

Looking her straight in the eye, he drank.

Duke looked down. "You've never been to Maine." Lexie started to drink when he added, " A town called 'Haven'."

The tumbler halted before it touched her lips. She was thinking hard, and that scratching in the back of her brain was back.

She'd never been to Maine, but she knew Haven. She had dreams about it sometimes, she'd written some in her journal. But those were dreams. Weren't they?

She eyed the man across from her. He should be freaking her out. Or, with an empty bar and his looks, she should be jumping him. But she was sitting and drinking, with this stranger-who-wasn't-a-stranger while he told her shit he shouldn't know. Shit _she_ didn't even know.

"I've dreamed about a place called Haven, but I've never set foot in Maine. I must have read about it somewhere."

Duke put his glass down with a pointed look.

"No. Don't give me that look, Duke. I would remember."

He pushed his glass farther from him.

"I've been to Maine?" Lexie asked, incredulous.

Duke picked the glass up and drank again.

He was serious. What the hell was going on? Her gut said he wasn't lying or playing her. But how could she know these things, have done things, and not remember?

She downed the rest of her drink and gestured for him to pour again, standing to lock the place up. Everyone had disappeared, that made her the boss.

Sitting again, she said, "If you're going to screw with my head, you're doing it shirtless. Next thing I get right, lose the shirt."

"Whatever you say, Lexie. You're the boss."

"Great, now you read minds, too?"

She sat back, crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. If he wasn't lying, she _had_ to remember. She tried to empty her mind. An old psychic had told her once that clear messages came to clear minds.

She closed her eyes and said the first thing that popped up.

"Cape Rouge."

When she opened her eyes, Duke was pulling off his shirt.

Oh shit. Clear messages, clear minds. How could she clear her mind looking at that?

"Your turn." Lexie muttered.

Duke grinned at her, looking lean and predatory. "I don't get to ask you to take your clothes off?"

Ah, back in safe territory. She smirked. "You can. But I'm not embarrassed to be naked, so make sure you're not asking just to unnerve me."

Duke smiled, sure she was bluffing. "Next one I get right, lose the shirt. I don't want to get you too drunk."

"Oh please," she scoffed. "I could drink you under the table."

"Maybe, but if anything happens under the table I'd rather you be topless and sober."

Damn it! She was blushing, she could feel it. She never blushed, _ever_. "Well, unless you say something, I'm not getting drunk _or_ topless. I'm not getting any younger, either."

"I promise you you're not getting any _older_ , either. Okay, okay. You have a birthmark shaped like a little hand on the side of your right hip."

Duke felt a little guilty about that one- he hadn't meant to really look, but when he'd undressed her after dragging her out of the ocean, he'd seen it. Ever since, he'd wanted to see it up close. To touch it.

Lexie narrowed her eyes, shrugged and pulled her shirt off. Nothing but a tiny, see-thru lace bra.

And thus was Duke Crocker rendered speechless.

She calmly watched his eyes go wide and his cheeks turn red. "I don't bluff, Duke."

She raised her glass to him and drank.


	3. System Meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copyright? I don't have it on me...

They had gone 3 more rounds, and Duke had drunk two of them when he spied an old upright piano in one corner.

"I bet you a full, honest discussion if I can show you something amazing." Duke challenged, excited.

"If I win do I ask all the questions?"

"Doesn't matter, I'll ask and answer as much as you want either way. I just really want the chance to blow your mind."

Lexie was tempted to make a dirty joke, but knew he was expecting it and refrained.

"Deal. But this better not be lame."

Duke stood and grabbed her hand, grinning as he led her to the piano. "Have you ever had lessons, Lexie?"

"No. I didn't exactly have what you'd call ' _parents_ '."

Duke looked curious, and she said "I'll tell you after you 'blow my mind', thanks."

He sat on the bench with her and said, "Just rest your fingers on the keys and close your eyes." She did, and the sudden darkness amplified his voice in her ear, humming a strangely familiar tune.

She didn't know if it was his proximity or the dark silk of his voice, but a shiver crept up her bare back and goosebumps rose all over her skin. It felt like her chest was filling, expanding. Like the tide was rushing in. Like a locked door was opening inside her.

The piano was playing the strange melody suddenly and Lexie opened her eyes and stared at her hands in awe and fear as they danced over the keys. She watched in horrified fascination until the song ended, then she jerked away so violently she almost fell back over the bench, Duke barely managing to catch her.

The feel of his bare chest against her didn't distract her from the dread filling her. The all-encompassing terror and pain pressing down on her like a living thing as she fought, feeling like she was breaking in two and drowning at the same time. The pressure was growing, she was going to erupt like a volcano.

"Not here! Not here! I shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here! This is wong. You're not real! Not again!" She screamed, pushing against Duke and trying to hold her head at the same time. He was shocked, speechless.

"No! You got what you wanted, why are you showing me this! I _know_ he isn't here!"

Duke was trying to calm her down, to hold her and keep her from hurting herself, but she was frenzied, writhing like a wildcat. He tightened his grip and spoke into her ear.

"I will let go of you if you stop screaming and calm down." Duke insisted. Lexie froze and the screaming cut off instantly, but she radiated tension and fury. He slowly loosened his grip, afraid she'd try to bolt. His arms were still loosening around her when she spun, slapping him and taking his moment of shock to dart away from him, grabbing his button-up and throwing it on as she ran behind the bar, only stopping when they were on opposite sides of that relative barrier.

Duke was standing in front of her, looking lost and scared. She was shaking hard and gasping herself.

"Why are you still here, why do you still _look_ like him?" She growled at him.

"I _am_ me." He looked at her beseechingly, his hands raised and open.

"I know that's not true. It can't be true, it's never happened before." She looked lost and afraid, beautiful in his too-big shirt. She looked very young suddenly.

"I will do anything to prove who I am, anything. I haven't lied to you yet, have I?" He begged.

"No." She finally admitted, sounding almost amused as she continued, "I suppose we still don't count lies of omission."

Duke laughed and she shook visibly harder, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Please stop, I can't... it hurts, physically hurts to hear you laugh. I shouldn't have joked. If I believed...."

Kinda-Lexie grabbed two more tumblers and another bottle of scotch, managing to still pour the drinks neatly and pushing one at Duke insistently as she threw back her own, one arm wrapped around herself.

Duke sobered instantly, hands held up in surrender, his whole posture radiating submission. "Okay, I'm sorry. It's okay, we'll do whatever you say."

"I say stop pretending and show your face!"

"If I could change my face, I'd have done it years ago. Please, ask me anything."

"Don't you see the horror I face? Seeing every possible outcome, each missed opportunity. They use it against me, finding new ways to break me. Please, I've done my work. You don't have to hurt me by showing me what might have been!"

"Then _fuck_ possible outcomes. You let me show you a _definite_ outcome." Duke said forcefully. He hopped over the bar easily, pushing into Lexie's space, overloading her fragile system and sending her subconscious into overdrive.

He pushed against her, crowding her against the bar as he strode forward, his hair flying and his hands coming up to hold her precious, beloved face as he kissed her.

This kiss was desperate; needy and demanding. She gripped and clawed and a tiny piece of imagination they both shared wondered what it would it be like without the barrier of clothing between them.

Duke was the entire universe in a kiss. Every wish, hope, dream or half-assed want were promised, sworn to her.

She felt like an atom bomb was shaking through this magnificent... whatever he was, for he couldn't be here if he was entirely human. Nobody like Duke could be entirely human. He was too perfect.

He was holding her face, but one hand traced down her throat as he kissed her. It traced the curve of her neck, that adorable freckle on her throat that he wanted to kiss every single time he saw her. He didn't try to move beneath the neck of her borrowed shirt, content to feel her pulse beating quick-time beneath his fingers.

Duke broke the kiss this time, and as he pulled his lips just an inch from hers he said, "Now tell me who I am." He breathed the words against her lips.

She hesitated, frozen with apprehension. "...Duke?"

"Yes. I swear, I am here and I am real, but I can't explain if I don't know what you remember."

She swallowed, taking a breath before she whispered back, "Too much, but not enough. I know you shouldn't be able to be here. How are you here? You can't be, but the simulations can't touch me... your face should have changed when I hit you."

She jerked a little. "I hit you! Oh my gods, Duke, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Her fingers flew to his face, looking for damage and he laughed a little.

"It was a slap. Next to what I'm used to, it was a love tap. I gotta say, for such a fighter, you hit like a girl." He grinned, stopping her heart even as she glared at him. They were still an inch apart, hands on each other's faces.

She brought her lips to his, whispering, "I wasn't trying to cause damage. Just a slap, to make it go away. And I _am_ a girl." She insisted, pressing against him to kiss him again.

He had to be the one to break the kiss again. "What should I call you?"

She looked thoughtful. "It doesn't really matter. Lexie. Audrey. In here, they're all true."

He was shocked and excited, as if seeing her for the first time.

"Audrey?" He asked, afraid to believe.

"Yes, Duke. It's me. But... kind of Lexie, too. I... in here, my name is Mara, the name I was born with. I don't generally like being called that, though you may be an exception. You are to everything else, obviously."

"Mara?" Duke tasted the name as he said it. It tasted like bourbon, tears and old, arcane knowledge.

She tilted her head. "It almost sounds pretty when you say it. Huh."

He hugged her like he'd wanted to since he heard her voice, the adrenaline rush making him feel strong and unstable at the same time. He was surprised to feel tears running down his face, more surprised when he saw the tears were black.

He stared, stunned as the black tears flew through the air and into Audrey's hand. She shuddered, a black ball appearing in her hand, which she dropped into her pocket. She immediately went back to hugging him as though he hadn't just leaked _magic fucking black tears_ on her.

This was way, way stranger than the time he'd done acid. It was starting to edge out the sweat lodge and vision quest in New Mexico on his 'weird shit-o-meter'. And he'd woken up from that naked against a cactus with a coyote licking his face.

"Audrey. Mara, whatever you want to be called. What just happened?"

"One name at a time is fine, Duke. They're all accurate though the old ones like Lucy and Sarah may as well be names for my left hand and my right. Audrey or Mara or Lexie. You may as well say Audrey for the moment, since that's what you're used to. Gods, how are you even _here_? And Troubles don't work in here. I... I don't understand." She gripped her head again, leaning heavily against him.

"Come on, beautiful, let's sit you down before you fall down." He swept her into his arms, carrying her to a loveseat in a tucked-away alcove. He sat her down and sat next to her, still shirtless. She curled up against his side like a cat.

"Audrey, tell me what you remember."

"I remember giving you my gun. Thanks for the trade, by the way. Ironic that you'd bring the gun from the case I was sent to Haven on in the first place."

"Glad you approve, smart-ass. It's what I had on hand at the time."

"I told you not to let Nathan follow. Oh gods, he didn't, did he? Duke, he'll be killed!"

Duke thought about the moments leading up to his jump. His stomach turned, thinking of Nathan bleeding, begging Duke to save the woman they both loved. "He didn't come in. He... got hurt. Sent me instead."

"Hurt how? Is he okay?"

Duke sighed, resting his head back. "Jordan shot him, but it wasn't bad, Audrey. I'm sure. And I shot her back, so there's that."

She thought hard and huffed out a sigh, relieved. "He'll be fine. So will she. He's going to need our help eventually. We have time, though. What else happened after I went in?"

"The meteors didn't stop, Audrey. Nate shot Howard, everything was going crazy, but the meteors fell even with you inside."

Audrey looked horrified. "He shot Howard? Oh no, no... without the guardian, of course they're still falling! Nobody is driving! Fuck!"


	4. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimer!

Duke was startled, but watched her take the hardened black tear out of her pocket. She held it to her lips, whispering something he didn't hear. Then she crushed the ball in her hand; it clung to her pale skin like black ink. She blew on her hand and the dust blew away, looking like a flock of tiny birds all headed in one direction.

"What was that, Audrey?" Duke breathed in wonder.

"Aether. I had to stop the meteors. The Troubles will still be active, though. What the hell is going on? Howard and the Hunter I get, but you... how did you _get_ here, Duke?"

"Nate begged me to go after you. I just... I just jumped. Then I was flying or falling, and I landed in the back room."

"That's not possible. Not unless... Duke, I need you to cry again!"

"I'm not an actor, Audrey, I can't just cry on command."

"Duke, think of Nathan." She clambered up, kneeling on the loveseat next to him. The long, streaked hair and nose ring, all the physical changes that made Audrey 'Lexie' were distracting him.

He closed his eyes and she took his hand, squeezing. "Think of Nathan, your best friend, lying there bleeding, needing us, Duke, and we're not there to help him!" She felt terrible for the reminder, but she had to make him cry. She _had_ to.

Duke's breath rasped, he swallowed hard. Saw Nathan, bleeding. Imagined him hitting the ground out there, surrounded by those psychos from the Guard. Would they even help him?

The tears fell, but they didn't roll down his cheeks. His eyes opened in time to see the fat, black blobs disappear into her hand and she shook again, producing four orbs, one by one. They stared at the pile of orbs together, both stunned.

"That's... Duke. You honestly didn't know? All that crap in your family journal and it never mentioned that you're not _human_?"

"What to you mean, I'm as human as you are!"

"That's the point, Duke. I'm not. Not human, not like you're thinking. Apparently, neither are you."

He looked at her like she was crazy, because she _was_. She'd obviously been whacked on the head at some point.

"Duke, just listen. You always wanted to know about me. Here's what I know. New things pop up from time to time, like a computer buffering. Too much information to assimilate all at once.

"I wasn't born on your world. I _wasn't_ ," she rushed to keep him from interrupting.

"I was born in a world similar, but scientifically more advanced. They'd played around with quantum mechanics, singularities, the Many Worlds theory... everything the scientists you remember are researching. But for them it wasn't Theoretical Physics. It was actual, and they ripped soft spots in the fabric of space-time.

"They're called Thinnies, and people can travel through them, but you have to be born to it. Most people get lost in the Void. It's too much. They get lost, they stay lost. Some people were asked to... _volunteer_ family members, like sacrifices or Tributes. Those of us who passed the physical and psychological testing were sent for further training."

"What happened to the ones who didn't pass?"

"They died." Her voice was cold, angry. "In my world, science is everything. They didn't care how many lives it took, they had their goal. Nothing else mattered. It's not a good place."

She shook her head, playing with her hair absentmindedly as she spoke, curling back up against Duke. She may have been part Audrey, but this woman was very different. She was still brilliant and wonderful, but she was more openly affectionate, less buttoned down. She was different enough that he was fascinated, and because she allowed it- cuddled in, even- he stroked his fingers through her hair, over her skin. He rained soft kisses on her head.

Audrey continued, "We were experimented on, given new drugs and serums. We weren't told what was in them. Those who survived that were given... uh... not partners, but.... counterparts? Someone who you were attached to but at odds with. We were set to guard the Void and the towns where the affect of the rips were worst. There were four of us, but... your mother must be Two. I never knew her name, we weren't supposed to discuss our lives with each other. But I can't feel Three or Two. They must be on the Other World or dead. They aren't in the Void, where they're supposed to be."

She jerked to look at him. "I'm not supposed to be here! They said our terms were up! I was supposed to stay!" She shouted at the Barn. "You swore!"

Duke wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. She crawled into his lap, holding him in return.

"Something is wrong. The Barn wasn't supposed to take me. It was supposed to bring me James back and leave. I needed to find the Barn and get him out before the Hunter came.

"The Hunter isn't just the name of the meteor shower, Duke. It's what they called my counterpart. One. He got through the testing process, but he's unstable, he just hides it really well. Best actor I've ever seen. He has chased me all over creation. He has this idea that we're gods, and that we're meant to be together because of the bond they forced on us. So he hunts me. He uses his abilities to hurt people, to give them Troubles. The rest of us were giving Gifts, trying to lessen the burden on the humans in the fallout zones.

"One thinks of people as science projects. Things he can play with- and he always breaks his toys." Her voice was chilled, it promised horror.

"What about me? What are you saying about my mother?"

"Two and Three aren't here, I could feel them if they were. Not here in the Barn, here in the Void. I should be able to feel them. I don't know how they could just go off-grid. It's not like we can just switch the connections off. There's a chance they just served their term and were released... but I don't think so. Two must have had a child with a Troubled man."

"So did you."

"Yes, but my child is immune to the Troubles, like me. You express your father's affliction, but Troubles are inactive here in the Barn. What you're doing isn't your father's Trouble."

She thought for a moment, her eyes widening as she stared at Duke. "She knew. She knew what One was doing, and she had you, knowing you'd have the power to save everyone! But why is it only working in here?"

She ran her hands all over his chest as she asked herself questions, and obviously she'd forgotten that she was in his lap, now straddling him as she groped him. He, of course, had not, and his traitorous body was going to give him away if she got much closer. He thought about baseball stats and just stayed still, hoping she wouldn't notice.

The damned universe never cut Duke Crocker a break.

She pressed her hand over his heart, squinting as she lowered herself to sit flat on Duke's lap and she froze just before him; he could see the color rising in her cheeks even though she wasn't looking at his face.

Duke scrambled for something to say that wouldn't sound lecherous or embarrassing.

Eventually she looked up at him from under her lashes, cheeks pink as she said, "All this for little old me?"

Duke laughed, relieved, and the tension left Audrey-Lexie-Mara as he did. "You have no idea."

She gazed at him, eyes challenging. "Do you want me, Duke? Even knowing what I am?"

"It'll take me a lifetime to understand what you are. A lifetime I'm more than willing to give."

His conscience creaked at him, and he mentally tried to swat the cricket with a newspaper, but the words came out anyway. The million dollar question, the knife edge his life balanced on.

"What about Nathan?"


	5. No More Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own them.
> 
> This chapter is rated Mmmmm.

She tilted her head, looking at Duke. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I... What... I mean... what?"

She didn't blink, didn't look disgusted or upset as she declared, "You're in love with him."

His mouth moved, but no sound came out.

She laughed. Laughed! The vibrations cut through his shock, causing him to harden more against her. He was blushing, he was sure of it. He blamed the Barn.

Duke Crocker did _not_ blush.

"Yes. Yeah. I am. But he hasn't loved me back in a very, very long time."

She pulled his face up, holding it there so he couldn't look away. "You're an idiot."

Then she kissed him, kissed him knowing who he was and the things he'd done, and his chest ached with the force of the emotion.

He was fierce and proud, but most of it was bravado, armor that he'd adopted to hide his pain. Constant rejection, the utter lack of parental love all left him starving for affection and acceptance; yet she was here, offering more than he could ever ask for. Lifetimes, centuries of love all bottled up that she poured on him like rain; like she was baptizing him.

He kissed her back, unable to keep the tears at bay. The black poured out of his eyes, drizzle becoming a torrent, and he gasped and sobbed into her mouth, crying harder than he could ever remember, even as a child.

She still had one hand pressed to his face, but she brought the other up around his neck, holding him closer and rubbing against him a little as she rocked in his lap. She shivered and shook as his tears filled her and she felt dangerous- desperate and overfull and needy all at once.

"Let it out, Duke. Let all of it out. Make love to me."

He was lost and out of control. It felt like all the hate and fear and bad memories were exiting him in the black stream.

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you, I can't..."

"Then _hurt me_ , Duke. I'm not afraid. I like it rough and _I need you too_."

He groaned, deep and primal, and Audrey was unbuttoning her shirt, undoing his fly and he was fumbling with her skirt.

Audrey stood and he groaned at the loss of contact, but she was pulling off her boots, wiggling out of the skirt. She had only her bra and panties. She grabbed his hand, pulling him up so she could pull his shoes and jeans off.

When he was nude (she had just known he went commando. It was nice to be right.) she brought his hands to her hips, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Duke?"

"Yeah?" he whispered, tears still flowing from his eyes.

"I want you, please. We need this. We deserve this. I love you. Please, trust me to control you, because you can't control yourself right now."

He shuddered, letting her pull him down on a blanket she'd spread on the floor.

His hands were clumsy on her bra, and he accidentally tore it in his haste. Audrey giggled a little, until his mouth came down around her right nipple, sucking and nibbling. The air left her in a rush, and she arched her back, pushing against his mouth as her hands tangled in his hair.

"Duke, _please_. Please, I need you."

He pulled back to tug her panties down and then his hand was on her, rubbing and dipping inside her, trying to be sure she was ready, that he wouldn't hurt her.

She was.

Fighting for control, he pushed into her slowly. Her back arched and she panted, acclimating to his size. She took a deep breath and nodded, opening her body and her heart to him.

He tried to pace himself, to hold back, be gentle. She must have sensed his fear, because she said, "Duke, I'm stronger than I look. Harder. Don't hold back."

He growled, need overcoming fear. He pushed into her hard and deep, shuddering as the heat of her surrounded him. She wrapped him tight in her arms, legs locked around his hips as she met him thrust for thrust.

As they fell into a rhythm, she became more vocal, leaving long scratches on his back, digging her nails into his ass as she tried to pull him closer.

Each tear made her shake harder, a she squeezed around him, tensing, muscles and tendons taut with acute strain.

"Duke, harder. Now!"

He complied, thrusting so her whole body moved. Demanding, almost violent in his need. It was perfect, and she screamed when she climaxed, biting his right shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

She wasn't coming down, Duke wouldn't let her, he was hitting all the right spots and every time she thought she'd calm down he moved, pulling her higher.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was all too much. She screamed his name with the last of her breath, scratching his back and biting his shoulder again, tasting magic in his blood.

The pain pushed him over the edge, and he felt like every bit of fear and anger was pouring out of him as his vision went black, more of the tears blinding him.

It took him a minute to realize that Audrey was shaking, hard.

"Audrey, did I hurt you? God, I'm-"

"N-n-no." She stuttered, not releasing him. "N-not hurt. The Aether. I have to g-get it out. I can wait a m-m-minute."

He dropped his forehead against hers and kissed her sweetly as he gently pulled out.

He lay next to her on the floor, tears gone.

Audrey curled up against him, shivering. She rested her head on his chest and rubbed her fingers together, ball after ball dropping onto the blanket next to him. Hundreds, maybe thousands.

"What is it?" Duke murmured.

She was still shaking as she answered him, still letting the balls pile up. "It's Aether. A gift from the universe. It can do anything. As for these, they're all the Aether collected from your family. Each of these represents a Trouble ended by a Crocker."

Duke looked sick. "All of these?"

"It's amazing you were able to function with so much backed up. When we go back, I'll fix your Trouble. I can't do it here."

"Fix it how?"

"So you can take Troubles without taking lives, and can release it again. Too much Aether in one person is like poison. It would have killed a lesser man."

Her shudders stopped, and she rested her hand on his chest, exhausted.

"You can do that?"

She hummed a lazy assent.

"How can you do all of this suddenly?"

"You. You came in here and tried bringing the memories back. You forced the universe to bend to your will. Because I'm whole in this place, I could remember everything. It's not even trying to block me now. It must be because Howard is dead. If that's true... we won't be here 27 years. In fact, I doubt we can stay here for more than a few Void-days."

"What are Void-days? It sounds like a holiday."

"Mmm. It's a measurement of time. Time passes very differently here than in Haven."

"So how old are you?"

"You're not supposed to ask a lady her age."

"You're a lot of things, beautiful, but I'm personally acquainted now. You're no 'lady'. You're a dirty, dirty girl."

She laughed loudly, her voice echoing around the bar.

"In your years... about 1,300. In Void-Years, I'm about 23."

"I'm a cradle robber."

"So am I."

"Good point. We're going back to Haven?" Duke asked.

"Yes. I wasn't supposed to be taken again. I wonder what went wrong. But, like I said, our people don't care about individual lives. If Two and Three are gone, something is very wrong."

She fell silent, thinking. She took one of the orbs, held it to her lips, crushed it and blew, and it danced away again.

"What'd you do?"

"Sent for help. Gotta find the way home."

"I suppose it would be optimistic to ask if we could use the door." He was trailing his hand along her spine. It was a little distracting, honestly, and she darted her tongue out, licking his nipple in retaliation.

He groaned. There was something in the throaty rumble that made her shiver. Suddenly, she wasn't so lethargic.

"Funny thing about Void-Time, you recover very quickly in the Barn."

"I just realized that myself." Duke gestured down his body, where he was already stiffening.

Audrey smiled, biting her lip. She licked his nipple again, raising herself up to get a better angle she wrapped her lips around the little nub, sucking. She could swear he was purring. Eyes on his face, she sucked it between her teeth, biting gently.

His eyes rolled back, and she laughed like Lexie.

"Do I amuse you?" He asked, scandalized.

"Endlessly."

"Oh, I'll show you amusing."

He stood, completely at ease with his nudity. He held a hand out to Audrey-Lexie-Mara and she took it, jumping up quickly, just as comfortable as him. They were Adam and Eve in their own little Garden of Eden. He laughed aloud and when he voiced his thought to her, she corrected him.

"Duke and Mara in the Oatley Tap Room of the Void."

He laughed again, pulling her to the bar. "Have you ever done body shots, Mara-Audrey? Maraudrey. Marauder. Ha."

She rolled her eyes, pulling her hair tie out and shaking her hair out. "Lexie has."

"Not with me. C'mere." He grabbed her around the waist, laying her out along the bar.

"That is, without doubt, the most beautiful bar I have ever laid eyes on."

She laughed, crossing her arms under her head and stretching her toes. "I heard something about body shots?" Unless you're not thirsty anymore."

"I'm a little hungry." He ran his hands up her body from her feet, over her legs and hips, skimming across the soft hidden curls and up to her navel, which he traced circles around. "I have wanted to lick this since the moment I really saw you. Well, I wanted to when I was undressing you after I got you out of the water, but I am a gentleman."

"You're no gentleman. You're a dirty, dirty boy." She replied dryly.

"God I missed you."

"We were apart for what, five minutes?"

"I was afraid I wouldn't get to you. Then you didn't remember me. I was happy to be with Lexie, but I still missed you. And when we get home..." He looked crestfallen.

She sat up on the bar, pulling Duke close between her legs so she could wrap her arms around him. She held him close, wrapping her body around him in a silent promise of forever.

He clutched her to him, a regular, clear tear tracking down his face.

"You listen to me, Duke Crocker. We're going home, and I'm not letting you go again. Not ever again. We're going to fix Nathan-" her eyes went unfocused and her nose wrinkled, her mouth pursed in a disapproving frown, "He's being an idiot. And he stinks."

Her eyes focused on Duke again. "We're going to fix him and he can love us both."

"Audrey, he doesn't see me like that anymore."

She barked a laugh, squeezing Duke harder. "Are you blind or being deliberately obtuse? I have seen the way you look at each other. Half the time I feel like I should cite you for public indecency. You two eye-fuck so often I'm worried one of you will get pregnant."

Duke gasped a laugh. "Damn! You kiss your bartender with that mouth?" He joked, half trying to distract her.

"I'm the bartender in here. But I kiss my boyfriend with this mouth. If... if you want to be my boyfriend?"

She looked honestly concerned. How could she not know how completely he belonged to her?

"Are _you_ blind? I've been in love with you since I met you. Hell, I think I loved you when you were Lucy, and I was a kid then."

Audrey thought for a moment. "Like I said, I honestly think that Two had to be your mother. You do look like her. It's possible that your spirit recognized mine- the same way I could feel the other guardians. You... you could just be recognizing our sameness, and mistaking the connection for affection?"

Duke pulled back a little, a faint smile playing on his lips. He curved his hand to fit her face, waiting for her to meet his eyes. She finally looked at him. "I think it's adorable that you feel insecure sometimes too."

"I'm not insecure. I just... I've been a hidden part of your life forever. I don't want you to have to love me. It should be your choice."

"My god, you really are so young. Audrey. We never choose who we love. The universe chooses for us. But I do know the difference between dependence, affection and love. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, I am in love with you. Completely. And if I loved you before I was born, so what? You had a baby with Nathan before _he_ was even born. Doesn't make the love less real."

She stared into his eyes for another long moment. "Do you really mean that?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"That's the second time you've asked me that today." She teased.

"And has the answer changed?"

They didn't need more words. Her arms were still up around his neck, her knees on either side of him. She yanked him to her mouth, kissing him hard, not trying to be careful. She nibbled his lips and tongue, his groans going straight to her core, igniting a roaring fire inside her. She brought her legs up, locking her ankles behind him, pulling him toward her insistently. She could feel him, hard against her opening and she tried to push him forward with her heels. He refused to move, smiling against her lips as she made a disgruntled noise.

"I want to take my time with you. I'm going to show you that I love you, because words... words get in the way."

Audrey was burning, but she found herself replying dreamily, "All sound and fury, representing nothing."

Duke nodded, his hands gripping her waist. He brought his mouth to her neck, kissing his way down her sternum, pausing to suck on each breast. Audrey's head fell back as she gave in, letting him lead her.

He wasn't asking for much, just some control. She could give him that.

She could learn to accept love, not just give it. She owed him that much.

Duke continued to worship her with his hands and mouth. He traced the birthmark on her hip, counted all five tiny fingers. He ran his hands down her legs, moving to kneel before her.

Staring up at her, he pushed her thighs farther apart. She scooted forward, so she was sitting on the edge of the bar, her eyes never leaving his. He smiled, and it was like seeing the sun. He was so beautiful it hurt her.

He kissed the inside of her thigh and the soft curls, and then his mouth was on her and he was pulling her legs over his shoulders.

She panted softly, hands tangling in his hair. Oh, he knew what he was doing. She was already sweating, shaking and she couldn't stop the noises coming from her throat. She grabbed his hands, frantic to hold something. She squeezed his fingers, pulling against him as her muscles wound tight.

He pushed his tongue into her, rubbing his face against her and she wailed, calling his name, shouting it to the universe. Duke continued to lick her and she couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He wanted to show his love? She'd gotten lost inside it.

Finally, just as her vision was spotty from lack of air, her body relaxed, melting her bones, and she sagged a little. Duke kissed her thigh again and stood, an arm around her for support as he wiped his face with a wet bar towel. Dropping the towel, he stood before her again and she leaned into him, her arms coming around his neck.

He kissed her, whispering, "Is this okay?"

She nodded, lost for words, and he entered her, holding her in his arms. They were a perfect set; lock and key, between them lay all the secrets of the universe.

But that didn't matter because he was making that _sound_ again, that rumbling groan that was getting louder and her body answered him, picking up speed quickly. She was making him feel like that. He was making those sounds because of _her_. The feeling was heady and powerful. Audrey brought her mouth to his, kissing him with all the love she had. She wanted him to feel her love too.

He moved a little, and she was gasping, body out of her control. She held on tight, and this time he came with her, uttering a hoarse cry against her lips as she sucked in air.

They were both shaky, supporting each other on the way back to the blanket where they curled up, clinging to each other.


	6. What We Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think everyone knows by now who's not getting paid for this. Me.

They'd been dozing for a few minutes when there was a sound like the drone of a beehive. Duke opened his eyes to see a black orb darting around Audrey's head. He shook her gently.

"Audrey? Open your eyes, beautiful. I think this is here for you."

She opened her eyes slowly, her body still lethargic. She held out her hand and the orb zipped right to it.

"Oh! Oh, that's embarrassing. Yikes."

"What? What's embarrassing?"

"Someone can hear us. She's another like you... she thinks she's crazy because she can hear us."

"How is that possible?"

"She has to be like us, from my world." She flopped onto her back, speaking to the ceiling.

"Jennifer. I know you think you're crazy, but you're not, I swear. You need to call..." her eyes unfocused- "Dwight Hendrickson at the police department in Haven, Maine. Tell him you have information about Duke Crocker and... uh, Audrey Parker. I'm begging you, it will prove you're sane." Audrey rattled off the station's number three times, then sent the orb back out, with instructions to destroy her medication.

"Uh, why are you having her call Dwight and not Nate?"

"Dwight's there, Nathan isn't. We're going to have to get him ourselves."

"Any idea how we're going to do that?"

She considered. "If we time it right, we may be able to hoof it. I can't set the Barn down, it's not stable without Howard. There's a partial eclipse coming, I can get us close enough to jump if Jennifer can open the door."

"I really don't want to ask but what happens if we jump and the door is closed?"

"Ahh. Well. I'm sure I could find a way through the Void. Better if she opens the door. I have eyes on, she's already talked to Dwight."

"Already? It's been two minutes!"

"Void-Time, Duke." She stretched lazily, feeling his eyes on her.

"How long until we have to go back?" Duke asked quietly.

"Probably tomorrow. Nathan's going to actually damage himself if we don't get to him soon. And we can't be in here when the Barn dies."

"Dies? Is it alive? I thought it was like a car."

"It is, but it's still a living thing. Most structures that travel the Void are organic, living organisms. It can't survive without it's pilot. Howard was bonded to this Barn the way I am to One, or Two was to Three."

"Stupid question, but does that mean they call you 'Four'?"

"They did, until One learned my name. He stopped calling me Four then, saying 'Mara' instead. You need to understand, he's a complete psychopath. He has no feelings but desire and wrath. He's going to track me again, especially now that he's sensed me here and Howard is gone."

"He'll have to go through me first."

She put her hand over his mouth, looking panicked. "Don't ever say that. If he heard you, he'd take it as a challenge. He's killed so many. He created the Troubles. He's very, very dangerous."

"Can a bullet in his brain kill him?"

"Yes. The problem is, it would kill me, too. The connection from the Aether bonded us. You hurt one, you hurt the other."

Duke looked green, more shocked than he'd looked when she'd slapped him. "Hurting him hurts you?"

"If we're on the same dimension, yes."

"Well... his ability, is it like a Trouble?"

"Well, yes, in that they're both based on Aether."

"You said you could fix my Trouble when we get back. If you do, could I steal his abilities if I touch his blood?"

She sat straight up, so fast it made Duke dizzy. She stared at him with wide, admiring eyes.

"You're a genius, Duke. An absolute genius. Yes, yes that would work. And you won't even have to touch him to get it!"

"What do you mean?"

"If... well, when he shows up, all we have to do is cut me. It will make him bleed. He won't expect it, can't have any idea that someone with your ability exists. Then we really could just shoot him. I'll have to make it so you can't absorb my blood, though. An accident like that would be catastrophic."

She curled up against Duke again, head on his chest. Her hair tickled his face.

"Audrey?"

"Duke?"

"This is like... the fifth time since I've been here that 'Holding Out for a Hero' has played. It was playing when I came in. That seems excessive."

She made a disgruntled noise. "It's a reminder. Every cycle starts this way, always with a song. Something important, usually a message or lesson I'm supposed to learn."

"But you've never needed a hero. You're the hero."

She sighed.

"Lexie. Lexie is supposed to teach me that it's not a weakness to rely on someone. But even still, you're wrong, Duke." Her voice was quiet and rough, and Duke knew she was trying not to cry.

"When the Bolt-Gun killer- Arla- kidnapped me... I knew I was in serious trouble. And you burst in, all 'Knight in Shining Armor' I was so, so relieved. That embarrassed me. Feeling so weak, needing a rescue. I was ashamed. That's why I went to Nathan. So I wouldn't have to admit that _you saved me_.

"I know, logically, that it's a character flaw. And I know I rely on you, much more than I should. But knowing and feeling are different, and it's hard for me to accept. It's why she's not law enforcement or an emergency responder. A bartender, a girl who isn't so damaged that she's afraid to admit she needs someone. Not that Lexie isn't tough, she is. I am. But she's not as emotionally stunted as me, though her history is just as rough."

" _That's_ why you went to Nathan? Because you were embarrassed?"

She nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"Audrey... how many times have you saved me? Or Nate?"

"I don't keep count, Duke. It doesn't matter, it's what I do."

"Fine. I'm going to keep just loving you. No judgements, no demands. Because that's what _I do_."

"Of course you're not human. You have more love in you than a human body can hold."

"That's me. An inhuman love machine."

She laughed. "I was sure you were going to go for the cheaper joke."

"Oh, I thought about it."

"Of course you did. I'd have been disappointed if you hadn't. You know what sounds good? A shower."

"And wash off all this Mara-goodness? I've waited years for this. No way."

She rolled over, laughing loudly. "Mara-goodness. Gods, nobody has ever used those words in one sentence."

"Then nobody has ever known you like I do." His tone was emphatic, and she gazed over at him.

"That's true. Nobody, ever has known all of me. I was a child, maybe 6 when I was given to the Cause. We had no names there, and since I've been working in Haven... even I didn't know who I was."

Duke's brow furrowed. "Will you remember this when we go back?"

"There's nothing left to block my memory. I'll be as I am now, and so will you."

"Thank god. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Oh, now you're asking permission?"

"You mentioned that Lexie has a bad past. Is that something you're willing to share?"

She rolled onto her front, propped up on her elbows.

"My real dad left when I was two. My mom had a drug problem, and a man problem. Just guy after guy in and out. One of them... he would get mom high so he could be alone with me. I was 13, and it went on for over a year. Just before my 15th birthday, he tried to shoot me up after he... well, you know." Her mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace.

"I'd seen it destroy my mom, making her a zombie who was okay whoring out her daughter for a fix. I was afraid, I'd been afraid for ages. I saw him pull that needle out, and I was hurting, hurting so bad- he wasn't afraid to hurt me, obviously. I didn't even think, just grabbed the closest thing I could. His knife. I stabbed him. I don't know how many times. I wanted him to stay _down_.

"I ran away, found work- _honest_ work, scrubbing toilets, houses, whatever. I managed. When I was 18 I got a fake ID and started working as a bar-back. Within a year, I was head bartender."

She saw the sick, horrified look on Duke's face. "It's fine. I'm fine. Please don't look at me like that."

"I- like what?"

"Like you pity me. I don't need pity. I don't _deserve_ it."

"Lexie, I can hurt for you. It doesn't mean I don't know how strong you are."

"I killed a man, Duke."

"I've killed people, Lexie. And it never got any easier. So let me hurt for you. Let me shoulder some of that burden, because god knows you do it for me. Please, Lexie. Come here." He held his arms open and she hesitated only a moment before she moved into his embrace.

He kissed her face a hundred times, nuzzled his nose against her neck. Things were just starting to escalate when the buzzing orb was back, dancing insistently around their heads like some kind of Tinkerbell on Red Bull.

Lexie held out her hand, still kissing Duke. Suddenly, she broke away.

" _Shit_!"

Duke groaned. "What now?"

"Haven, what else? We may have a complication."

Oh, he hated those words. They always ended in blood and tears. "Hit me."

She dropped to a whisper, presumably so they wouldn't be overheard. "The Guard is hunting for Nathan. They want to punish him for shooting Howard and screwing up the cycle. When we go in, we'll need to think on our feet. I... I'm going to have to pretend to be just Lexie. I have to pretend I don't remember Nathan." She looked pained.

"It's okay," he whispered back. "We'll find a way to talk to him alone. We're pretty good liars, we can do this."

"I can't let them know I'm in love with you, because then you'll be in danger, too. We... should pretend like the Barn was a simulation for you, too. You can be my boss. Can you do that? It's fine to pretend you suddenly got your memory back when you land, okay?"

"I don't get to be your boyfriend?" Duke looked like a kicked puppy.

"Okay, my boss who's my boyfriend, but we're not serious, okay? I mean it, if they know I'm in love with you, they'll be after you and Nathan both. No, until I can correct your Trouble and convince Vince Fucking Teagues who and what I am, I'm Lexie once we touch down, clear?"

"As long as I get to be the boyfriend, I'm good."

"Jennifer probably already slipped that she heard us _in flagrate delicto_. That girl reminds me of an orb, she's so... sprightly. Yeah, that's the word. She's in Haven now, following Dwight around. You know what they remind me of? Beauty and the Beast. She's all tiny and perfect like Belle. I better be careful, she might try to steal you from me."

"Impossible. I don't even look at other women. You're it for me, Mara. All the parts of you."

"How can you be real? If I didn't know the limitations of the Barn, I would think I was still in a simulation. You're too _good_ to be real." She kissed him, hoping he would feel the truth of her words. She had to teach him to be loved too.

They had to learn together.

"Come on Duke, I promise to make the shower worthwhile. We'll need to leave soon, they're looking for the door."

"I thought I was your boss."

"Keep telling yourself that. Up, Crocker. Let's go."

He followed under protest.


	7. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, still not mine.
> 
> This story is still tied closely to me headcanon for Syzygy, so some parts are similar.

He hadn't seen a shower in their earlier exploration of the bar(n) so he was surprised when Audrey- Damn, Lexie. He had to get used to calling her Lexie- stopped at the door to the back room, pressing her hand against it and concentrating before she opened it up to a large marble bathroom.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"It can be anything. FBI field office, Bar... it can manage a bathroom."

"Well now I know that. So we could have had a bed?"

"Uh, yes. I didn't think about it."

"You really are a dirty, dirty girl."

"That's why we need the shower."

"As long as I can scrub your back."

"Of course. You're a gentleman, after all."

* * *

The shower took longer than they planned- they kept getting distracted.

When they finally turned the water off, shaky and out of breath, there were clean clothes on the counter. Lexie had grabbed a fluffy towel and she stood, dripping wet and glowing as she rubbed it over Duke's skin. His hair, neck, back, over his ass and down his legs. "Turn around, Duke." Lexie commanded, squatting by his feet.

He turned and she started to dry the fronts of his legs, rubbing the towel between his legs to dry him with a wicked grin on her face. "I like how you look from down here."

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"I can think of worse ways to go than with your cock down my throat."

He gasped again, laughing. "That's #5 on the list of things I never thought you'd say to me."

"You have a list?"

"Well yeah. I mean, I have these daydreams, and usually they end up being things you'd never actually say."

"I have a list, too."

"What's on yours?"

"Not a chance, boss. Too embarrassing. I'll be sure to let you know if you ever say one."

She was drying his stomach and chest, and when he was dry, she started on herself.

"Nuh-uh. Gimme the towel, Lexie."

She handed it over with a smile.

He got her hair dry enough not to drip, and he dried her back, wrapping his arms around her to dry her front. Duke gently yet insistently moved her until they were facing the mirror, so he could watch her as he worked. He took his time, and when he got to the apex of her thighs, he actually did try do dry her until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Put your hands on the counter, Lexie. Bend a little. Now move your legs apart a little. Perfect."

He threw the towel on the counter, watching their reflection as he pressed against her from behind. His arms went around her, one spread across her stomach, the other playing with a nipple.

Lexie wiggled and made a tiny mewling sound that went straight to his groin. He moved his hand from her stomach to her sex, watching her reactions and the way he looked with her.

He finally understood why people put mirrors on their bedroom ceilings.

"You look so beautiful, Lexie."

Lexie tried to answer, but her mind was blank, she was so focused on his hands and their reflection. How could she think with his long, clever fingers inside her?

She said the only thing she could.

"Fuck me, Duke."

"And that was #9 on my list. It's sexy when you curse."

"Duke..."

"Yes, Lexie?"

" _Now_."

"Yes, ma'am." He moved his hands to her hips, gripping her firmly as he pushed into her.

The angle was so different, Lexie threw her head back, and the reflection in the mirror made him harder.

Lexie was pushing back against him, giving and demanding at once.

Duke brought one hand around her again, rubbing his fingers around and around, and her muscles clenched so hard around him that he moaned. "God, Lexie. You feel so good."

She was gripping the counter with white knuckles, back arched as she pushed back onto him, driving him deeper.

"Duke, Duke- gods yes, like that. Duke. Fuck!" She was splintering apart, and she cried, "Duke, I love you!"

He held her, moving faster, coming with her.

"Lexie," he whispered, "Never leave me."

They stayed locked together for long moments before he pulled out, his arms around her as he kissed her shoulder.

Lexie turned, wrapping her arms around him. She kissed him, whispering, "I mean it. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. I couldn't ever leave you, not now. Not ever again. Wherever we go, we go together. Promise?"

"I swear. I'm with you no matter what. For as long as you'll have me."

"That's a lifetime contract, Duke."

"I would happily take a lifetime contract. I'd marry you. I want to."

She held her breath, eyes searching his. "That's on my list. That's probably #1 on my list, actually."

"I mean it. I know it probably sounds silly to you, but when I think about marriage, I've always known that I'd never marry again unless it was you, but I knew that was impossible." He was blushing, like he was embarrassed about it.

"Lexie Crocker. Alexandra Crocker." She slapped her hand over her mouth, flushing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud. I swear I'm not that needy. Sorry."

Duke smiled a hopeful, crooked grin. "You're not entirely opposed to the idea?"

"Duke, right now you're the only thing in life I _am_ sure about."

They shared a lingering kiss before they dressed.

* * *

 

They spent some time just cuddling on the couch.

"We're going to have to go soon. I guess Dwight got in touch with Nathan. I- I'm really anxious."

"Don't be. It'll be okay, no matter what. And we're learning how to cure the Troubles. That's a bonus."

She nodded. "I need to bring some of the Aether back with me. I need it to fix you. I have a little backpack I filled up, I'll release the rest into the Void, where it comes from.

Lexie was taking long, cleansing breaths.

"Remember," she whispered, "You'll get your memory back when we land. You'll have to act uncomfortable about me, even though I'll be 100% Lexie. Be convincing."

"I don't have to lie to look uncomfortable around the Guard, Lexie. Trust me. Or around Nathan, for that matter. He's going to want to kick my ass for being with you."

"I won't let that happen. We'll be fine." She gave him a lingering kiss before standing to grab the backpack, Duke's denim shirt tucked safely in one compartment, orbs filling the other. She wrapped the rest of the orbs in a blanket.

"Come on, Duke. You'll want to see this."

He followed her to the door. "Stand back, this might freak you out. I put us as close as possible, but there's still Void to see."

Exhaling, she opened the door.

"Holy.... that's the Void?"

"Yep. Welcome to my world."

"It looks like clouds."

"When we go, don't let go of me, okay? It may look pretty from here, but inside it's like... overload. I don't know how to explain. Let's let these extra orbs go."

She set the blanket on the floor, against the threshold. She carefully unwrapped them.

They responded to the open door, taking on a less solid form and floating out in groups. It reminded him of birds again, migrating out into the Void.

"How long, Lexie?"

"Any second."

"Then come here." He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her. "Audrey. Mara. Lexie. I love you. I believe in you."

"I love you, Duke. No matter what, you and I are going to be okay."

They glanced up at a flash of light to see a rectangular shape opening a long way away.

"You ready, Lexie?"

"Not even a little." She wrapped her arms around him. "Don't let go of me, Duke."

"Never."

They jumped.


	8. Welcome to Haven

There was a concussive blast as they hit the doorway, blowing Duke and Lexie- and the group waiting on the other side- apart as they slammed into the ground.

She was curled up, not breathing.

Nathan saw Duke first, and he ran for him, skidding to a stop on his knees, pulling Duke up against him, into his arms.

It took Duke a second to realize Nathan was crying, smiling and hugging him like he'd never let go. Duke's eyes met Nathan's.

"Nate? Jesus, Nate, it's good to see you." He hugged him hard, grasped his jaw in both hands as he stared. "What the fuck, Nate? Why are you so thin? Why are you all marked up?"

That's when he noticed the Guard members. Jack-booted thugs already had weapons drawn. Duke was murderously angry.

"Did they do this to you?"

"No, no Duke. They didn't. I did. It was stupid, I'm fine."

"I can't leave you alone for a second, can I?"

"No. I'd rather you didn't. Did... Audrey?"

Duke looked around urgently. He couldn't see her. Still holding Nathan's arm, he stood, finally spotting her several yards away. She wasn't moving.

"Here, Nate, hurry!"

They ran for her, both dropping to their knees next to her, rolling her urgently as Duke muttered, "She's not breathing."

He tilted her head back, opening her airway before he pinched her nostrils shut and breathed into her, immediately moving to start chest compressions. Over and over he repeated the cycle, a full seven rounds of CPR.

After the seventh breath she coughed, gasping for oxygen. Her chest hurt inside and out.

Her head was spinning, she stayed silent as she stared back at Nathan. His hand came up to stroke her long hair, curved around her cheek in a loving gesture. His smile was beautiful and adoring, she wanted to get lost in it.

She wasn't sure why she was surprised when he pressed a pistol into her hand, pointing it at his heart. She didn't have to fake the shocked look on her face.

"Audrey, the Troubles didn't stop. There's only one way to stop it now- stop it for good." Nathan kissed her for a long moment. "You have to kill me. It's the only way to save them."

She was herself, her whole self, but Lexie was at the forefront, and she reacted violently to his words, dropping the gun and crawling away to vomit, shaking.

"Shit." Duke muttered, going after her. He wrapped his arm around her, holding back her hair.

She was shaking, and she gasped, "I can't kill again, Duke."

"You don't have to sweetheart. It's okay."

She calmed herself, straightening to gaze with wide eyes at the people around her. She saw Vince staring at her and she was very, very tempted to hit him.

"I'm not killing anyone. I don't even know you people." She gave Jordan a look up and down, walking toward her. "You, I wouldn't mind getting to know. You're gorgeous." She raised a hand to Jordan's face before the other woman could move, and the contact had the desired effect. Jordan pressed her face into Lexie's hand.

"I'm Lexie. What's your name?"

Everyone else was standing shocked- even Duke.

"I- Jordan. My name is Jordan."

"Who are the rest of your well-armed associates, boss? Maybe if we introduce ourselves they'll lose the artillery?"

She looked back at Jordan, hand still touching her face. "I don't like guns. Boss makes me keep a revolver at work in case someone gets too rowdy, but they make me uncomfortable." Jordan just stared at her, mind overloaded by sensation.

"Uh, sure. Everyone, this is Lexie DeWitt. Lexie, this is Nathan, that's Dwight, Dave, Vince, Jordan... and I don't remember the other's names. Guys, lower the damn guns, you're freaking her out."

"Not Audrey?" Nathan whispered.

"She was already different by the time I got to her. I... it was weird, it felt normal. I thought I worked at this bar, and she worked for me. I didn't remember until I saw you, Nate."

Vince finally spoke up. "She's not in love with Nathan. It won't work. The Troubles won't end unless she's in love with him."

Jordan snapped out of it, staring at Vince. "We should still try! We can't just give up!"

Lexie shot Duke a look.

"Wait, wait. I think I have an idea. Vince, can we talk, one on one?"

Vince nodded and they walked a few yards away, heads bent together.

Lexie leaned in a little to whisper to Jordan, her fingers touching the skin on her back at her waist, just under her shirt. "Any trouble you've got I'm happy to help. You should have a drink with me sometime."

"...okay. Maybe once this is figured out." Lexie only felt a little guilty, using her desperation against her. But she _had_ shot Nathan. And Lexie would make sure Jordan was one of the first to be cured.

In the meantime, she'd play the hand she'd been dealt to the best of her ability.

Nathan came up to her, pulling her a few feet away.

"Jeeze, manhandle much? You could've just asked to talk to me. Oh! Unless Jordan's your _girlfriend_ , in which case I'm sorry for poaching." She couldn't help the tightening around her eyes as she mentioned Nathan's history with Jordan.

"Look at me. You really don't remember me?"

She tilted her head, squinting. She was careful not to actually lie. "I'm pretty good with faces. I doubt I'd forget meeting you. Not many people ask me to fucking shoot them 3 minutes after I _died_ , you know."

Nathan recoiled visibly. Good, that looked good.

"So. You're Nate?"

"Nathan. Wuornos."

"Okay. Next time, lead with that instead of the gun thingie. The chicks who go for that kind of pick-up aren't the kind of people you want knowing where you sleep, 'kay?" She rubbed her chest absently, wondering if any of her ribs were cracked.

"We need to talk."

"Still not a great pick-up line. The whole 'rumbly, threatening' voice only works for Batman." She raised an eyebrow, looking speculative. " _Are_ you Batman? You can tell me. I wouldn't tell."

She walked away, back to Jordan. "I think I made the scarecrow jealous. Jeeze, is everyone in this town so... uptight?"

"We've been having a bad year. A really bad year. Can... can I try something? There's a chance it could hurt, but it won't maim you or anything."

Lexie bounced on her toes. "That sounds exciting. Go for it."

Jordan pulled off a glove, carefully bringing her hand to Lexie's arm. Her fingers stroked Lexie's skin gently, like she hadn't touched soft skin in years. But she hadn't, Lexie remembered, her heart hurting for Jordan.

"That certainly doesn't hurt. You really are beautiful. One day very soon... I'm going to take that sadness out of your eyes." She remembered Jordan's story, how her Trouble had activated, and the comparison to her own history made her hurt, hurt bad.

Of _course_ Jordan was prepared to kill. How different were they, really? Jordan had been raped, left in a body that nobody could touch. She couldn't even just be held safely.

Lexie had been raped, and if she hadn't struck first, she'd be in much the same position, if she'd even still be alive.

Their eyes- survivor's eyes- met, and they recognized the shared pain, a look that only other survivors wore. Lexie's shoulders slumped, and she hugged Jordan, letting the other woman rest her face against her neck. "I understand, and I'm sorry. How can I help?"

"I just want to _feel_ again. I can't erase his touch when it's the last time normal people could touch me. I hate it, and the longer it goes on, I hate _myself_ more. I really thought you could fix it."

She held Jordan, rubbing circles on the skin of her back. "If I learned anything from my own experience, it's that killing doesn't _fix_ anything, it just breaks you in more places. But give me a chance, Jordan. Give me three days. I'll find a way to help you. You can touch me anytime, and I'm giving you free hugs for life." Lexie squeezed Jordan and kissed her cheek.

"Yeah. Alright. You think you can help me?"

"I won't quit until I do. I... I _swear_."

They broke apart and Jordan slipped the glove back on, looking down.

Lexie wasn't surprised to see everyone staring at her, but she stood straight, asking, "What? You don't get new people in town much, or are you perving out on watching two girls hug?"

Most of them looked away, embarrassed.

Duke approached her with Vince, a warning in his eyes. Crap, what had he gotten her into this time?

"Lexie, at least until I figure out what's going on with my bar, we're hoping you would go on a kind of... extended ride-along. The people here think you're a cop, it would be good for morale to see you working again."

She laughed, looking at him like he was crazy.

"Right. Because I could pass for a cop. Seriously, Duke, did you get a concussion?"

"Lexie, _please_. They're reinstating Nate, but you need to go along for awhile. I'll stick with you as much as possible. The people in town think you're a police detective. Audrey Parker. It's really best if we let them think that."

She was searching Duke's eyes. He was begging her to play along. But why? They were supposed to be just Lexie, that was the plan. Not Lexie-playing-Audrey. How could she behave appropriately if she was just shoved back into her old role?

But his eyes were begging her to trust him. He obviously had some kind of plan.

She finally shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Fine, whatever. But since it's your request, you're paying me _and_ they're paying me. A girl's gotta eat. Um, speaking of which, I need a place to stay, clothes..."

"I have to find out what's up with my stuff. But we'll figure it out."

Vince spoke up. "Your things are safe. Dave and I have been taking care of them. I'll get the keys for you. We had to step in to keep your brother away."

"How many bars do you own, Duke? I'd have demanded a raise if I knew you had more." She punched his arm playfully.

"Exactly how well do you know Duke, Miss DeWitt? _Intimately_? His family has rather a checkered past in Haven." He was watching her carefully, speculation in his eyes. She didn't like his tone. She glared back, not even glancing at Duke as she got up in Vince's face, mere inches between them.

"Duke is my boss, and he's a good guy. What's it to you, anyway? All the pervs with guns are looking at _you_ , which in my book makes _you_ the dangerous one. So how about this- you back the fuck off, and I'll play cop for you. Vince, is it?"

She wracked her brain, thinking about her Sarah days, how best to manipulate him.

She found the old conversation, repeating it in her new voice. "You may push everyone else around, Vincent, but _I. Don't. Work for you_. You don't order me around, are we perfectly clear?"

The blood drained from his face as he stared at her, and he nodded. "My apologies. I got ahead of myself, I meant no offense."

She smiled, reaching up to pat his cheek. "That's better. We'll get on fine, won't we, Vince?"

Someone approached on her left, she looked to see Dave next to her, love shining in his eyes and hat in his hand. How had Audrey never noticed the blind adoration in his gaze? Her heart squeezed painfully, and she gave him a geniune, sweet smile.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm Dave. Duke pointed me out. I noticed you were giving out hugs, wondered if you might have one for an old man." He was shaking, his voice nervous.

She remembered every time he'd gone to bat for her. How he'd _never_ stopped trying to protect her, even against his own brother.

She stepped into his arms, hugging him. She turned her face so her mouth was against his ear.

"Davey, it's me. You can't tell Vince. He doesn't understand what's happening, but I can fix the Troubles, without more death. Please, please keep it secret. I know I can trust you."

She straightened, smiling though there was a lump in her throat. "You, I like. Once I have a place to stay you should come by and talk." She looked around at the other men around her. "So far, you've been the only one besides Duke who's had any manners at all." She traced the shape of a heart on his arm where no one could see. One of his old codes with Lucy. His answering smile lit up his whole face, and he traced a star on her lower back.

"So, are we gonna stand here all day or is someone going to show me a place to stay? I _really_ have to pee."


	9. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not getting paid for this, do-dah, do-dah.

It took three agonizing hours to get the keys to the _Gull_ and get rid of everyone. They were down to Dwight, Vince, Dave, Nathan and... Jennifer.

The visions had been clear, but the orb hadn't been able to capture the level of pure manic energy in the girl. If she hadn't known for sure, she never would have pegged her as being a halfling, much less a _pure_ OtherWorlder as it appeared she must be.

There was no stillness, no space for quiet contemplation in her. She'd never have fit in where they came from. She wondered if the Cause had started throwing failed research subjects through Thinnie's.

That or her parents loved her too much to let the Cause have her, sending her instead in the only possible direction of Hope.

Lexie naively hoped it was the second.

They were hanging back, watching the men talk about macho man crap. Jennifer was vibrating, the air around her alive with anxiety as Lexie spoke. "So, you're Jennifer. The one who heard us. I'm Lexie."

They shook, and then Lexie felt it clearly. Sameness. Camouflaged but definite. Someone had tried to protect her, to make her blend in.

Someone _had_ loved her.

"Yes, yeah, I'm Jennifer, it's nice to meet you. I already feel like I know you so well." Her face instantly flamed bright red, and she stuttered, "I mean, not that well! Not like intimately. I just mean-"

"Shh." Lexie held up a hand, laughing so hard her chest protested and her stomach ached.

"I know what you heard, it's okay. I'm sorry my shenanigans were broadcasting so loudly." She couldn't stop laughing, though she made a valiant effort, arms wrapped securely around her ribs.

"I didn't tell! I only told them what you told me to, don't worry, Mara, I was really careful."

Lexie sobered instantly, putting a finger to Jennifer's lips. "Careful. Lexie, I'm Lexie right now, okay? Don't be so nervous about me, it's making you lose focus. You and I are fine. Better than fine. There's nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, okay?" She pulled her hand back, leaning in to hug the girl.

"I'm sorry, Lexie. I'll be more careful. I just. I am really kind of in awe of you. You're amazing. I can't believe you're _real_."

"You're the amazing one. You heard, and you were brave enough to act when you were asked. You saved us. You're your own kind of bad-ass."

Jennifer flushed, bouncing as she shook her head, self-deprecating and humble as a priest. (Not one of the pervy ones you see on the news, but the selfless ones in books.) Mara had to shake her head to fix Lexie's derailed train of thought.

"There's nothing bad-ass about me. I'm just a freak who hears voices. Sometimes, at least."

"Jennifer, have you stopped to ask yourself _why_ you're different? What it is that allowed you to hear us when no one else could? Jennifer, you're not a freak. You're just like me, I mean it. I'll explain when we have more private time, okay? Just remember, call me Lexie."

Jennifer nodded as the men approached. Lexie watched her move silently to Dwight's side. They were so different. Huge and tiny. Quiet and boisterous. Calm and frenetic.

Lexie thought they'd balance each other out nicely.

"I can't believe you're doing this, you don't need to give her that!" She heard Nathan's voice, arguing _again_.

He was starting to get on her nerves.

So far she'd overheard, "Incapable, Not a Cop, Untrained, Unskilled, Scared, Risk and Bad Idea" several times. He was like the Barn, repeating the same song over and over.

She turned her gaze, narrowing her eyes. She straightened her spine, shoulders back, bruised chest proudly out. She even pulled her top down an extra inch, skirt up another. Trying to convey the dual messages 'I'm a dumb, slutty bartender and by the way I just  _died'_ at once. She strutted up, eyes challenging.

"Still complaining about giving me a gun, Detective _'Nice-to-meet-you-now-murder-me_ '?" She pointedly took the gun and holster from Dwight, attaching it to her belt without looking before she took the new phone from Duke.

"I wasn't complaining, I was-"

"Whining? Moaning? Bitching? Or maybe you're more of a 'registering a stern protest' kind of guy." She looked at his face. "Ah, stern protest it is."

"You just didn't seem very comfortable with guns earlier." He defended.

"My issue is less about the Second Amendment than it is _murder_!" Lexie exclaimed in exasperation.

They'd already, in these dreadful 3 hours, had 5 different versions of this _exact same discussion_. She was tense, tired, cranky and ravenously hungry. Nobody had offered her so much as a soda and her blood sugar was tanking, not having eaten since whatever the last thing Audrey had eaten before the Barn. They'd only drank in there. She just couldn't take it right now. She was going to break cover, punch him or just all-around flip her Bitch Switch and then she'd give them away.

"I call time-out." She announced to everyone, stomping away.

Okay. Everything is okay. Nathan always starts out cold, and he's upset. He hadn't been aggressively unfriendly, he was just...

Irritating her.

She could only imagine how it would be for a brand new persona matrix dumped here, without her super-ego to guide her. The thought made her want to cry.

"C'mere, beautiful." Duke had chased her down, of course. She went willingly to his arms.

"He's being a dick."

"That doesn't even come _close_ to my list of things I thought I'd never hear. Of course he is. He's as warm as a penguin's balls when he meets new people. Especially when he's upset. You _know_ this. But see, I have you beat, because I've gotten the 'You're not good enough anymore' treatment more times than I can count."

She barked a short laugh, fighting tears. "He's done it to me before, I just thought..."

"That the first time felt the worst? Not hardly. Every time hurts more, until you feel like you're swallowing razor blades when it happens. Hey, I promised not to lie." Duke reminded her.

"I know you did. I just hate the thought of you hurting. Hate it."

"I feel the same about you."

"How long do you think they're going to honor my time-out?"

"Why, what's on your mind?"

"I'm wondering if we have time to fuck against that tree." Lexie whispered, pointing.

"Totally on my list. They'll _make_ time."

He swept her to the indicated tree, pulling at his fly. She wiggled out of her panties, tense and urgent. He backed her up to the tree and she locked her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. "You're so sexy wearing a holster." Duke nipped at her neck.

He entered her quickly, barely giving her time to adjust before he was really moving, enough that she could see the beech leaves swaying with the motion.

Her breath came in gasps as she kissed him, drawing his breath, borrowing his strength. He had enough to share- he'd brought her back to life, after all- and he was willing.

She clung to him tightly, moaning into his mouth. He swallowed the sound, pushing into her harder and she was _trying_ to be quiet, but the low wail broke from her chest as she stopped breathing and clenched around him, forcing his response. He broke the kiss, straining for air as he groaned in her ear.

They clung to each other, rocking back and forth as they relaxed together, the tension finally leaving her muscles. He kissed her slowly before he pulled out, holding her steady while she got her footing. She smoothed his mussed hair and clothes, he adjuster her straps, skirt and holster, fingers lingering on her thigh overlong.

"You look so beautiful right now I can't stand it." He grabbed his new phone, capturing a couple of pictures before she could laughingly stop him.

"Damnit Duke, you'd better-"

"Better what?" Duke demanded, smiling.

"Send me a copy. Trade you." Lexie snapped him with her own phone.

They danced around for a minute, trying to get better pictures of each other before they heard the rustle of footsteps.

Lexie didn't even tense up as Nathan entered the clearing.

"They're about done for the day, thought you might need a ride to pick up your car."

"Sounds good, we were just saying it's been a long day."

Nathan's eyes zeroed in on Duke's face and Lexie froze.

"Is that right?" She saw the tic in his jaw and the tightening around his eyes, and Lexie followed his laser gaze.

Her panties. Shit.

She knew Duke didn't see the hit coming and she jumped for it, taking a nasty punch to the face but landing a fairly decent kick to Nathan's gut.

They hit the ground at the same moment, and Duke stood frozen in shock for a heartbeat before he dashed to Lexie, who was sporting a massive shiner, groaning as she held her ribs.

He rounded on Nathan.

"What the fuck, man? Why are you hitting people?"

" _That's_ what you've been doing all this time instead of trying to find Audrey? Fucking _her_? They're not interchangeable, Duke!"

Nathan moved as if to strike again when he heard the most horrible, beautiful thing in the universe.

" _Nathan Thaddeus Wuornos, you self-righteous hypocrite!_ Like you're one to talk?"

He turned slowly, heart in his stomach as he looked at her; terrifying, heart-stopping, brilliant, beautiful and _alive_.

It was like Lexie had grown six inches. She was furious, moreso than he'd ever seen. She stomped toward him, backing him into a tree and then jabbing him with her finger every other word. He flinched each time she touched him, but she was relentless.

"You smug, arrogant son of a- gar!" She yelled in frustration, kicking the tree. "You come to Sarah all ' _Bow-chica wow-wow_ ', knowing- fucking _knowing_ she had a fatherless fucking child, never even telling Audrey that _you're the fucking father!_ Finding out from the Barn? That's a new low, _even for you!_

"Then you have the nerve, the unmitigated fucking gall to act like _I'm_ somehow deficient! I'm not as smart, as strong, as capable as I was three fucking days ago! Well fuck you, Wuornos!" She accidentally said his name right in her wrathful haste, but she wasn't done.

"Audrey came _after_ Sarah! After! Audrey wasn't part of Sarah! Only the new personality has the others inside! So I'm not good enough to ride with you, to wear a gun, to wear a badge, but I'm still too good for Duke? Huh? Is that it, Nathan, or is it that _Duke's too good for me?_ You need to get your shit sorted out. You love him, quit leaving him hanging!"

She stomped her foot and screamed in rage, turning back to him. "If you sell me out to Vince, so help me gods I will castrate you myself."

"It's not about saving me! Ending the Troubles is more important!"

"Did you ever think that just _maybe_ I was smart enough to do that, too, or is that just beyond the intellectual capacity of 'Stupid little Lexie'?"

They were so close, almost touching as she shouted him down. In his mad desperation he reached out and kissed her.

She reciprocated enthusiastically for a few long, long moments. Eventually thought returned to her and she backed up, panting.

He had the most beatific smile on his face, his eyes half-closed in bliss.

Snarling, she leapt forward, giving him a black eye to match her own. "Felt _that_ , didn't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm re-using the punch, but here's why.
> 
> They deserve it. Audrey shouldn't have been so stupidly stubborn, pushing everyone away. Nathan needs to learn to stop just hitting Duke every time he has a bad hair day.
> 
> Instead of putting them in time-out, I'd rather punish them so they can learn a lesson.


	10. I Know Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not mine.

Eventually Dwight heard the ruckus and he helped Duke separate Lexie and Nathan. Duke finally sighed, saying, "If you get hurt and bleed on me everything will get messed up." before she would stop resisting, glaring holes in Nathan as Duke pulled her away.

They explained it as a scuffle between Lexie and Nathan and Vince sighed dourly.

Duke managed to get her away, leaving Nathan to deal with Vince as they went to check out her apartment, cursing Nathan all the while. She kicked at dust bunnies as she ranted, dragging out her vacuum and attacking her apartment ferociously.

Duke followed behind, changing the bed and dusting shelves in his wake.

"Smug, arrogant, douchey, insufferable ass!" She scrubbed at a spot on the counter, chewing on a stale granola bar she'd found in the back of a cabinet.

"You forgot stubborn, pushy and pig-headed." Duke added.

"Those, too."

"Yeah, I've had this discussion too, me and myself. Maybe we're masochists, I don't know."

She threw the sponge in the sink, washing her hands. "We're clean. At least they kept your stuff safe and your brother out of the way. That would have been bad."

She looked sideways at him. "We need to fix your Trouble."

Duke took a deep breath. "I'm nervous."

"So am I. I won't lie; Aether is addictive. I don't know how much I can use without physical dependence. But until it's done, everything is in danger if you touch my blood. Trust me, Duke."

"I do trust you, I just... How will it change me?"

"You'll touch the blood of a Troubled person, absorb their Trouble and cry it to me. Poof! Trouble gone. Everyone except me. Because that would be bad."

"We don't want bad."

"No, we really don't. I know what I'm doing, Duke. Seeing your ability work properly in the Barn was a big help. It's a tweak, that's all."

"I trust you, Lexie. I do. Let's do this."

She went on tiptoe to kiss him, their height difference accentuated by her lack of shoes. "Sit at the table."

She opened her backpack on the table, taking out a few orbs. "I need to find some kind of box to keep these in. A big one for storage and a small one for travel."

"I have the perfect thing on the _Rouge_. We'll go get them after we're done here."

She turned to him, face alight with excitement. She moved forward to sit in his lap, straddling him. She looked into his eyes, serious for a moment.

"I want Jordan to be the first one we fix."

"Why, so she can stop threatening me?"

"No, because she's _me_."

"I don't understand."

"She's me that almost was. Still might have become if I hadn't met you. She was ready to kill just to feel someone or something other than _disgust_. She's not bad, Duke, she's suffering. Suffering because someone hurt her. Everything else aside, she deserves it. Please?"

Duke was frowning. "When you say it like that... yeah, okay. I get it. We can call her over after you fix me."

"Thank you." She kissed his nose. "This is going to be weird, please don't freak out. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?"

"What's with you and weird?"

"I like weird. Stay calm." She gazed at her left wrist and the Maze, the symbol of the Guard, appeared there, etched in shimmering golden fire. Duke stared, transfixed.

"How'd you do that? Can I touch it? Does it hurt?"

She laughed at his wonder.

"Yes, you can touch it. No, it doesn't hurt. To process the Aether outside the Barn I need to manifest the symbol, let it recognize me."

"Why the Guard symbol?"

"Because we were the first Guardians, Duke. Think about it. Four opposing guardians for the Void. It was our unit patch, our identification. Some Gifted people wanted to help, and they learned to wear our symbol as a sign of commitment.

"Some people misuse it, but the same can be said of any symbol. The Swastika was a good symbol- the Wheel of the Sun -misappropriated by some bad people. Symbolic power is relative to the power we give the symbols. Do you see how that can get complex, metaphysically?"

"Why does yours look like it's burning?"

"I don't know. It always has. Mine and One's burned, Two's and Three's frosted."

"Okay, wow. Yours doesn't freak me out, the fire makes it feel different."

"Don't be afraid, Duke. I know what I'm doing."

She crushed an orb in her hand, holding the black up for Duke to see.

"There's a recipe, three ingredients needed to create or modify a gift. Target, Intent and Aether. The gift needs to suit the Target or it won't work right. I promise not to hurt you, but you have to let me concentrate. My Intent has to be completely focused and certain. Okay?" She waited for him to nod and she exhaled in relief when he did.

She focused her Intent, thinking of the kinks in the seam between his mother's ability and his father's. The barb that would allow him to take abilities from everyone but her-never her- and his need to release the Aether as he had in the Barn. She focused every cell and neuron, pressing her hand to Duke's chest.

She moaned, her head dropping backwards as her eyes rolled back. Duke grabbed her reflexively, before she could fall. He held her tenderly, feeling magic running through him.

"Not done." Lexie grabbed more orbs, crushing them in both hands. She could feel Duke twitch beneath her and instead of distracting her, it focused her more. She rocked against him, still without panties from their little nature walk.

She pressed her hands against him, shaking and grinding against him as her head rolled. "Duke, I need you."

"Now?"

" _Now_."

He undid his fly, shifting to free himself without dumping Lexie on the floor as she grabbed two more orbs. When he was free, she ground down, sheathing him inside her quickly, gasping through pink lips. Duke kept one arm around her, moving the other under her shirt to fondle her breast as she moved on him, her loose hair falling around them like a curtain.

She was glowing with a faint sheen of sweat, making rough, feral noises as she rode him, finally pressing her two black hands against his back. Her body ground down and rocked hard, lost in ecstasy as she repaired the flaw in his Gift, squeezing as she moved faster, bouncing, forcing the orgasm from Duke faster than he'd planned. He held her hard, pelvis tipped to push as deep as possible as he came inside her, whispering her name like a benediction.

They stayed just like that for several long moments until Lexie felt him softening within her. She raised her hips and stood back, adjusting her skirt, which had ridden up around her hips. She watched him do up his fly, somehow managing to look smug and impressed at the same time.

"Did that do it?" Duke asked, standing.

"Well, I know _I_ certainly feel better. Did it do it for you?" Lexie teased.

"C'mere, smartass." He pulled her into his arms, hugging her and burying his face in her hair.

"I'm pretty damn sure it's fixed, but we need to test it. I need to make a call."

She pulled out her new phone, dialing Jordan.

"Hello?"

"Jordan? It's Lexie. Do you have some time free? I was hoping you'd come by. I... I think I know how to help you. Please."

"Are you still above the _Gull_?"

"Yep."

"I'm on my way."

Duke stroked her hair. "I'm not being a jerk, I'm just curious. Why Jordan and not Nathan?"

"Several reasons. The one I told you, plus she could be a strong ally. I also don't want to test it on Nathan until I'm sure it's perfect. And this is petty, but I'm still really mad at Nathan, and fixing him would undoubtedly lead to all sorts of schmoopy love stuff that I'm personally too mad to be interested in."

Duke grinned. "Schmoopy?"

"Shut up. Everyone makes fun of the way I talk, you're giving me a complex!"

"I think it's adorable. I wanna kiss it. Say it again."

"Schmoopy." Lexie said as he kissed her.

"Oops, just missed it. Better try again."

"Schmoopy," she giggled as he kissed her again.

She heard footsteps on the porch, followed by hesitant knocking. She looked at Duke. "Let's be superheroes."

She opened the door for Jordan, who looked nervous, then surprised to see Duke.

"Lexie, what happened?" Jordan touched her face gently, tracing the bruise around her eye.

"Nathan was being an ass. I got him back, though. But Duke, Jordan, both of you be nice. Truce flag. Right now all that matters is Jordan, okay? Past fights are irrelevant.

"Jordan, Duke's the real key to fixing the Troubles. We're going to fix you, but please understand- killing won't end the Troubles. It _can't_. Only an act of love can overcome an act of hate. So please, keep them from trying to hurt anyone. I'll have to deal with Vince eventually too."

"You... you remember?"

"Yeah, I do. But the killing has to stop, so I couldn't say."

"You're sure about this?"

"I am. But the more important question is: can you trust me?" Lexie took Jordan's hand, pulling the glove off to twine their fingers together.

Jordan stared at their hands. "I trust you. Please help me."

Lexie hugged her again before reaching for Duke's pocket knife. "I have to make a little cut, just enough to get a few good drops of blood, okay?"

Jordan nodded, silent.

Lexie took a cleansing breath, looking at Duke. He appeared calm and certain, and his faith touched her. She quickly nicked Jordan's palm, letting a little blood pool before bringing Duke's hand several inches below, turning Jordan's so the blood trickled onto Duke without their skin touching.

His head jerked back, his shining silver eyes staring up at the ceiling, the rush that accompanied the blood filling him with strength even as the full understanding of Jordan's pain washed over him. The tears came without effort- he hurt for her in that moment as he hurt for Lexie.

The tear floated to the fiery symbol on Lexie's wrist and Jordan gasped, seeing it for the first time. "What?"

"It's a long story, Jordan, but I promise to tell you everything soon." Lexie rolled her fingers, dropping the orb into her backpack. "It's time to test this."

Lexie looked beseechingly at Duke, smiling happily when he nodded. Lexie took both their hands, bringing them together and then pulling her own hands clear.

Nothing happened, and Duke exhaled in relief. Jordan stared at his hand in wonder as Lexie pulled off the other glove, taking the heavy leather jacket off to expose the skin of her arms, showing the tight black tanktop underneath. Duke stroked Jordan's arm, and she smiled, ecstatic.

"You really did it, despite everything. How? _Why_?"

"Because we can now, and because I understand. I understand all of it, and I don't blame you. We've suffered enough. We deserve happiness now."

"Thank you." Jordan whispered, hugging Lexie hard. She turned to hug Duke, too, surprising him for a moment before he hugged her back. "I was wrong about you and I'm sorry. I'll do my best to protect you. Will you be able to fix everyone?"

"With time, yes. I can even give new Gifts to people who want them, especially if they want to help rebuild a new Guard, one that really protects this town."

"What kind of gifts?" Jordan asked curiously.

"Any kind, really, as long as it fits the recipient. Just like the Troubles, but without the negative aspect. For example, if it had been done correctly, your Trouble could have been active only when you were in danger, not constantly."

Jordan looked thoughtful. "If you were going to give me a gift, what would it be?"

"Mmm. Probably something defensive, like being able to melt into shadows, travel through them. But if there was something you wanted, I'd try to see if I could give it. You just strike me as a shadow-dancer."

"That sounds beautiful."

"Think it over, Jordan. You have my number, you can call me anytime."

"Thank you so much. I'll never forget this."

"We'll talk to you soon. Go have fun. And when people ask how you got better... tell them. People should know."

Lexie stuffed the gloves into a pocket, handing the leather jacket over. "You should keep this in your car, you look perfect without it."

Jordan smiled, laughing happily as she took the jacket and Lexie hugged her again. "We'll talk soon."

Jordan let herself out, running into Nathan on the porch. She hugged him on her way past, surprising him. She laughed and ran for her car, bare skin shining in the early evening sun.

"So. Jordan looks... happy."

He gave Lexie a searching look and she sighed, trying not to be angry.

It was time to talk to Nathan.


	11. Good Luck With That, Buddy

Lexie poured herself a scotch and drank it quickly before gesturing curiously at the boys.

"I'm in." Duke said.

"Sure." Nathan agreed.

She handed Duke a glass, glaring a little as she pushed one toward Nathan. She was irritated to see that his eye was barely even bruised.

She was tempted to cure his Trouble just so she could hit him again.

"I'm still mad." Lexie stated flatly.

"I'm sorry for hitting you."

" _Hitting me?_ " Lexie hissed. " _Hitting me?_ You tried to sucker-punch Duke! He wasn't defending himself, he didn't even see it! And after all the sanctimonious horseshit you pulled today, you apologize for hitting me. Like that's the worst thing you've done today."

Nathan actually looked scared.

Good.

"I'm sorry I was rude. I was... upset."

"You may have been upset, but you're not a damned savage! The Golden Rule, Detective War-Nose. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That's how you got socked in the eye. Bad karma."

"Look, I'm sorry. But I'm confused. I- who are you, really?"

She looked at him and sighed.

"You know who I am."

"Audrey?"

"Yes, Nathan."

" _Parker_?" The childish excitement in his voice made her chuckle quietly.

She allowed him to hug her, patting his back as she said, "It's really me. Just... more of me."

"What do you mean?" Nathan held her out to look at her, trying to reconcile his eyes and ears.

"You shot Howard, Nathan. You killed him, killed the Barn. There was nothing left to keep my memory blocked once Duke pulled me back up. Because he _did_ , Nathan. Duke started trying to bring me around immediately. You don't get to be pissy because he wasn't tearing me down to do it!"

"I'm sorry, Duke. I should have trusted you."

"Damn right you should have!" Lexie interrupted before Duke could let him off the hook. "Let's list the things Duke has done for us lately, 'kay? First he listened to me, trying to save you by keeping you out, then he shot Jordan and jumped in himself because _you_ asked him to. He could have died! Would have, if he'd been anyone else!

"Then he puts his own hurt on hold, trying to make me- Lexie- feel comfortable, trying to lead me to the truth in the least painful way possible. You have no idea how bad I flipped out! I hit him! I thought I was losing my mind!

"Then, when I made a move on him, he actually stopped me to say, _'What about Nathan?'_ The man who spent the last few years making him feel like crap, when you fucking loved him the whole time! Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not a moron, contrary to everything you said today. I can see love, okay? It's not exactly quantum mechanics- though I'm sure it will just _shock_ you to hear I know something about that, too. I'm not mentally handicapped, Nathan."

She knew she was ranting, but the feeling from the Barn was back, that feeling of being a volcano, with personalities erupting in every direction. She was so, so angry.

"Sit, Nathan." She pushed him toward a chair, sitting at the table to pour another drink.

Duke touched her shoulder, gently requesting her attention. She cocked her head, waiting.

"You know, we haven't eaten in... six months. I doubt that old granola bar helped any. Why don't I order some real food? It's not the Barn, alcohol won't be so kind on an empty stomach."

"That sounds amazing. Gods, I don't think I've ever been this hungry." She leaned to hug him and held him there to kiss him as he made to pull back. "No more stepping back to make room, Duke. I mean it. Both of us or neither of us." Lexie whispered the words, willing him to understand. He nodded as Nathan watched them, the muscle in his jaw clenched.

Duke left the table, going out to the porch to order food.

"Audrey, why didn't you say something?"

"Because people wanted me to shoot you if I was Audrey."

"There were chances to talk privately." He eyed the bite mark on her neck with narrow eyes.

" _You_ wanted me to shoot you if I was Audrey. None of you were going to listen to me. The only ones who would listen were Jordan and Dave!"

"I saw your little show with Jordan."

"I wasn't trying to hide it, Nathan! At least I knew how to get her to _listen_!"

"By using her affliction against her? Don't you think that was a little unfair?"

" ** _Unfair_**?" Lexie roared, sounding like the mad havoc of the Void distilled into one voice. " _Unfair_?"

"Unfair is being given to a Cause that murders children, being experimented on, drugged, changed to suit the purposes of politicians. Unfair is getting torn apart and stitched back together over and over for 500 years! Unfair is being taken again even after my term was up! Unfair is being brought back to life just to have someone you're in love with ordering you to shoot him!

"And since I just _know_ you're running a background check on me, I will tell you that unfair is being forced to kill your rapist and run away from home at 14 years of age. Unfair is living in a fucking tent in the woods for three years, trying to think it's an adventure because Cyndi Lauper managed to do it."

She breathed harshly, furious.

"If you show anyone those records, I'll be in serious trouble. You _know_ there's no statute of limitations on murder."

Lexie poured again, throwing the drink back with narrowed eyes as if daring him to stop her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. You were too busy belittling me to actually talk to me."

"I'll destroy the report, I promise."

"Yeah, well hopefully it didn't set off any alarms. There's no more Barn to erase memories of cops trying to arrest me."

She sighed, moving to sprawl on the sofa. Nathan took the chair. She rested her head, staring up at the ceiling as she gingerly rubbed her chest.

"I died." Lexie said quietly, sounding shocked. She'd just taken each hit and kept moving, trying to get through this impossible day. She hadn't had time to process anything.

"I...I _died_. I don't think I've ever died before."

"Scared us." Nathan mumbled.

"Scared me, too. I wonder why I died. Huh."

Nathan's phone buzzed just as Duke was walking back in. Lexie sat up, patting the spot next to her- putting herself between the men. As Duke sat, she scooted back into him. She watched as Nathan listened to whoever was on the line, raising an eyebrow when Nathan turned to stare at her.

"Wanna bet that's Dwight or Vince passing on the news about Jordan?" Lexie whispered to Duke.

"Since he's staring a hole through you, that's probably a good bet. I heard you shouting."

"Yeah, I wasn't using my inside voice, sorry. He said I was unfair to Jordan earlier and I went all _'Carrie-at-the-prom'_. Maybe he wouldn't be hearing it third-hand if he had just _asked_ instead of accusing."

"Hey, I'm on your side."

"I must be hungry, I can't even think of a way to make that sound dirty."

Duke looked very serious, reaching out to take her temperature. She swatted his hand, laughing.

"Food's coming, woman. We'll get you back to your normal, filthy self in no time."

She cuddled back into Duke, playing with her hair as they waited for Nathan to hang up already. Jeeze, how long could it take to say, "Hey, Jordan said Duke and the girl you called 'an insult to Audrey's station' fixed her Trouble, and dude, she didn't taze me!"

She idly traced patterns on Duke's knee.

Finally, he hung up, tossing his phone onto the coffee table. "So. Jordan..."

"You didn't ask, Nathan. You simply mentioned that she looked happy."

"It's true then? You fixed her Trouble?"

"Uh-huh." Lexie made the affirmation sound vapid and childlike. He really managed to bring out the worst in her, and she understood Duke's predicament. Every insult, every snub made her behave worse, making him more attacking. It was a vicious cycle.

" _How_?"

"Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust." She stared at the ceiling.

"I repaired Duke's Gift- he's different, ask later. Anyway I fixed it, adjusting the relative proportions of Aether-based negativity to mitochondrial ability within his genetic structure, thereby smoothing the translation between his maternal and paternal-based abilities. It allows him to take the damaged, malprogrammed Aether from a Target without ending life. He is then able to return the purified, activated Aether to me, where I can then choose to make it dormant or I can use it in whatever way might be necessary at the time."

Lexie was filled with vindictive glee when she looked at Nathan's face. She affected a wide-eyed, vapid expression. "Oh, sorry. I mean, y'know, the flow of energy between his mom and dad was all jacked up. I fixed his chi."

She lost her pillow as Duke rolled off the couch, grabbing his stomach as he laughed himself purple, quite literally rolling on the floor laughing. "If I'd ever even thought of it, that would have been on my list!" He managed to get the words out before the laughter had him again.

His laugh, the sheer naked joy in it, made Lexie laugh too, her shoulders relaxing. Nathan even laughed. "What's sad is that I understood the second explanation better than the first one."

Then they were all laughing like idiots and Lexie was clutching a pillow to her chest so the endless laughter wouldn't hurt her ribs so bad. "Ow ow ow ow! Goddamn it, that fucking hurts!"

She'd shouted the curse right as there was a knock on the door. She leapt up, pushing Duke back on the floor and taking his wallet. "Stay on the floor, don't move!"

Lexie yanked her shirt down again; the bruises on her chest and face were starting to really darken. She ran the steps to the door, yanking it open.

She'd taken the delivery boy by surprise. She knew what she looked like- messy hair, tiny clothes and bruises everywhere. He was looking her up and down like he was already writing his first 'Penthouse' letter in his head, and she didn't blame him.

He was handing her two large bags when he finally spotted Duke on the floor, Nathan on the edge of his seat. The guy looked at her in alarm, whispering, "Miss, do you need help?"

Lexie looked very serious as she handed him Duke's money. "The first rule of Fight Club is: _There is no Fight Club_." She backed up, closing and locking the door as she a almost-yelled, "Come on, who's next? You pussies wanna live forever?"

She was snickering quietly as she placed the bags on the coffee table, dropping the wallet on Duke's chest as he started to howl with laughter.

"Well hell, he'll be useless for at least five minutes, but I'm seriously, seriously starving. Do you realize not one of you even offered me a soda?" Lexie was already unpacking the bags, looking in the boxes to see who got what.

She opened one, smiling a little as a stray tear ran down her face. "This is undoubtedly for you." She handed Nathan the box, letting their hands touch for a brief eternity.

Duke had ordered Nathan pancakes. Of course he had. Nathan tries to sucker-punch him, he buys the man pancakes. They had a ridiculous definition of foreplay.

Fettuccini Alfredo for Duke, and she sniffed appreciatively.

Finally for her- Salisbury steak and potatoes. Protein and starch. She wanted to kiss him, but kicked at his legs with her bare toes, warning, "I can't wait, get up here so we can eat, please, Duke."

"Jeeze, demanding minx." Duke's face was still red with laughter as he joined them around the table.

Lexie was starving, her stomach snarling as she dug in, eating quickly. She'd scarfed down half her meal when Nathan had his pancakes properly buttered and opened the sealed bowl of syrup.

The smell wafted over her; cloying, sickeningly sweet. Lexie started to sweat so hard the moisture dripped down her neck. Her gaze darted between the three meals, then Lexie was up and running for the bathroom at top speed, hand clamped over her mouth. She dropped, expelling what felt like everything she'd eaten ever, in any incarnation.

Nathan and Duke exchanged a confused look as they rose to follow her, Duke pulling her hair back. "Nate, get her a pillow for her chest, I can tell she's hurting."

Nathan dashed out as Duke murmured to her. "Lexie, are you okay? What happened?"

She flushed, standing to wash her hands and brush her teeth. "Open a window." she demanded around her toothbrush. He did, returning quickly to her side.

"Now can you tell me what happened?" Duke asked as Nathan handed her the pillow.

"I-. The smell of the syrup-" She gagged again.

"Don't worry. We'll deal with everything tomorrow. Just relax, okay?"

"Figures. Lexie hates pancakes." Nathan looked equal parts irritated and unsurprised.

"Actually, I love them. Maybe dying made me allergic."

Duke stared at Lexie, and he felt it in his gut. It had nothing to do with death, everything to do with life. He'd gotten so wrapped up in Mara-Audrey-Lexie and Void-Time, he hadn't even considered anything else.

But oh man, did he ever not want to be the one to bring it up, especially not in front of Nathan. For the time being, Duke was just going to shut up and keep his eyes open.

He was going to get his ass kicked.


	12. Who Did What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No infringement intended.

They returned to the living room, Lexie staying as far from the deadly syrup as possible. Duke handed her a bottle of water before he sat.

She gave him a strange look, staring him up and down for a moment before she sat back. "I still need containers for my Aether."

"Your what?" Nathan asked, swallowing his food.

"Aether. It's the essence of the Void."

"Sorry, I don't understand."

"Okay. Fine. Crash course. You know the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Geneva? The thing they're using to try and find the God Particle?"

"I've heard the name... I think."

Lexie sighed. "The big machine thing that people were afraid would create a singularity that would kill everyone. I know you remember this. I think you called it the-"

"Doomsday Machine! Right, I remember. Lot of panic, nothing happened, like Y2k."

"Right, exactly." She stood and Duke swallowed hard, like he was trying not to say something. _Suspicious_.

She grabbed her backpack, bringing it back to her seat. She reached in, lovingly removing Jordan's orb from the top. She held it up with two fingers. "This is what they're looking for. They won't find it unless they fuck up like my people did and break through to the Void. This is Aether. Actually, this is the Aether that was in Jordan. This is what powered her Trouble."

Nathan was trying to keep up, but he had to stop her again. "What do you mean by 'your people', and what is the Void?"

"You saw the Void- well a piece of it, at least- through the doorway. The bright place. It's the buffer space between worlds. It's filled with Aether in active form."

"It looks different active?"

Lexie chose a different orb, carefully zipping Jordan's into a pocket. For some reason she felt attached to it, loved it. It hadn't meant to hurt Jordan, it was trying to help her by following its programming. She understood what it felt like to be blamed or equated with negative things when she was just trying to help.

She held the fresh orb up for Nathan to inspect. "This is dormant Aether. Not dead- it never dies. It's like a seed, it stays dormant until the proper conditions are met for it to become Active. Watch."

She focused her Intent, crushing the sphere and showing Nathan her black hand. "Please stay calm. Any shooting in my apartment will be done by me, 'k? _They gave me a gun._ " She stage-whispered the last part and Duke coughed into his drink.

Raising her hand, she blew, and the Aether flew, forming a little girl of about six.

Lexie gazed in surprise, caught off-guard. "Come here, please."

The girl skipped to Lexie's side as Nathan stared, frozen. She shot Duke a brilliant, gap-toothed grin as she passed him. She had crazy black hair like his, but her eyes were almost sapphire blue, shot through with silver. She was beautiful.

"What's your name, Little One?" Lexie asked.

"I haven't been given one yet."

"Why did you take this form?"

The girl pointed at Duke. "He had a question that was bothering him, I answered it."

Duke froze. Oh shit. Seriously? Now _Aether_ was selling him out? What kind of universe was this???

Lexie narrowed her eyes at Duke, but addressed the girl. "Thank you for your help, darling. You can go back now."

The girl nodded, blowing a kiss at Duke before blowing apart into glowing black dust that re-formed the orb in Lexie's hand. She offered it to Nathan. "Go ahead, you can't activate it. You're safe."

He held the orb gently, even lovingly. "I can feel it."

"Yes, you can. It's most of what I'm made of. It's what makes you feel _me_ , even. Without the Aether, my body would wither, weaken and die. I was made reliant on it."

"But why? And what did you mean when you said, 'Your people?' "

This was going to be exhausting.

"I'll explain, but watch it- you scoff or even so much as ask if I'm sure, I will make _sure_ you feel it, clear? This is my life, no matter how strange or silly you think it is. I need you to trust, even if it's hard."

Nathan nodded seriously.

Duke laughed quietly. "Good luck with that, Buddy."

Lexie sat back, peeling the label off her water bottle.

"I wasn't born here, Nathan."

"Here in Haven?"

She looked heavenward, preparing herself.

"No, Nathan. Here on this world."

She waited for the interruption, but it didn't come. She rolled her eyes to look at him and he was silent, his 'listening face' on. Hmm. He was either _actually_ listening or he was using his, 'pretend you believe the lying suspect' mask. She narrowed her eyes, suspicious, but continued.

"The place I come from is similar, but technologically advanced. Not so much, morally."

She shared the absolute basics, withholding the information about Duke. There were still things she had to figure out about that.

"So, we don't know why I was taken again. But the Barn is dead. The cycles should be over. There's nobody I can ask, unfortunately... unless..." Lexie looked at Nathan. "Howard was in touch with someone here. That person might have information."

"Do you have any idea who his contact was?"

"A couple of ideas, but I don't think you're going to like them."

"How bad could it be?"

"Nathan... it had to be either Vince or Garland."

"I- no, I'd know if it had been my father."

Lexie sighed, sad for him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

She stood, pacing a little.

"Did Garland warn you to stay away from me?"

Nathan blushed. "In a way."

"He said I'd cause you pain, right?"

"How did you know?"

"It's all history repeating. It _could_ still be Vince. I'll have to talk to him directly to know. He'll have to wait til tomorrow though, because I'm exhausted and we still have to check on the _Rouge_."

Nathan's phone buzzed again. Lexie eyed it expectantly. "Depending on who told you about Jordan, that's Dwight or Vince."

Nathan grimaced before he answered. "It's Vince."

Lexie climbed into Duke's lap as Nathan spoke to Vince. She faced him, straddling his lap with her arms wrapped around his neck as she leaned into him, resting her face against his neck.

"Mmm. I think this is the closest to feeling 'relaxed' that I've been all day."

"Do you feel better with Nate knowing?"

Lexie chuckled. "Not that. I mean right now, in your lap, feeling your pulse on my face. _That's_ what's relaxing me. You."

She'd surprised him again, and he stuttered a little. "I- you- I mean... really?"

"Yes, really. You make me happy, and your heart sounds like music." She hugged him hard.

"I keep expecting to wake up alone, with you gone for 27 years or for you to run to Nathan." He whispered the confession like he was ashamed.

"Shh, Duke. I couldn't leave you. I love you. I want to give you everything. I... I know I'll never be your _first_ anything- you've been married, you've fathered a child. But I could be the last. I'd marry you and have your babies." She was smiling, but she felt him freeze beneath her. The embarrassment hit her like a truck when she felt him go still.

"I'm sorry, that sounded really clingy. I just meant, if you wanted... ugh!" She pulled away and paced to the kitchen sink, where she stopped to stare over the water.

What was wrong with her? She'd gone days without sleep before, she'd suffered exhaustion at least this bad before. Why was she so edgy now? Why was she saying this domestic stuff? He hadn't talked about a family at all, and he'd only mentioned marriage in an abstract concept.

She was acting like a stalker.

She closed her eyes as his hands landed on the counter on either side of her, boxing her in. She blinked furiously, trying to banish the tears in her eyes before he could see how crazy she'd gotten.

Duke pressed his lips to her ear, nuzzling her hair. "Did you mean it?"

"I didn't mean to sound needy and whiny. I swear I'm not that crazy or demanding."

"Lexie. Did you mean it about marrying me and having my babies?"

"Yes. But I understand it's really soon to even mention and you might not even want that, and that's okay. I mean it, but only... only if you ever wanted to."

He pushed against her, his front against her back as he brought one hand up under her shirt, fingers brushing her breast. He continued to stroke and squeeze as he spoke. "Nothing would make me happier. I want a family with you."

"You do?" Lexie barely breathed the words, gripping the counter. She was _never_ this easy to get going. Never. But every time he even looked at her, her mind filled with irresistibly dirty thoughts.

"I absolutely do." His whisper echoed in her ear as he pressed closer, lips touching her ear as he spoke. "Making you mine. Hearing you say my name. Talking about marriage. Coming inside you... best moments of my life."

"I really, really need a few minutes alone with you." Lexie whispered.

She was about to go find a quiet spot when Nathan hung up. "That was Vince."

" _Moodkiller_." Lexie muttered.

" _Cockblocker_." Duke snarked just as quietly.

They both laughed, covering their mouths.

"So, what did the fearless leader have to say?" Lexie smoothed her shirt, turning to address Nathan.

"He wants to talk to us. All three of us."

"Great, he can come bring coffee."

"He was hoping we'd go there."

"Typical, he thinks he's at the advantage if we're on his turf."

Duke laid his hand on her hip, and she actually lost focus for a second. "Lexie, we've got to check the _Rouge_ anyway, it's not out of the way."

"Yeah, okay, fine. But if he gets all snarly, you let me handle him. And don't tell him _anything_ Nathan. Anything he hears has to come through me."

"That's totally fair. Just let Nate drive, and try to relax, okay? You're too tense, it's bad for... for you." Duke stuttered slightly, almost saying the wrong thing.

"Fine. Let's do this. Can we stop at the store after? I'm hungry."

* * *

 

They drove to the Herald while Lexie put her hair back up, keeping it draped over her chest so she could play with it. She kept her right hand on Duke's leg, but couldn't help reaching out with her left to touch Nathan's hand. She couldn't even be sneaky about it because he felt her. She was still mad, absolutely- but she still wanted to hug him.

They parked and Lexie grasped Duke's hand. "I just realized, I'm a hand-holder." She squeezed.

Duke smiled at her. "I like the sound of that."

She winked at him, turning toward Nathan. "Just- listen, no martyr-y talk, okay? If they want to talk about ending the Troubles, it gets done my way- one at a time, and no killing. Got it?"

"Are you going to tell them who you really are?"

"Nathan, I ' _really am_ ' Lexie. If I decide to tell more than that, we'll see. But like it or not, she's part of me, and I don't want to change." She narrowed her eyes, very serious.

"You need to really think about that, Nathan. Who you care about. It's a fact- Audrey wasn't part of Sarah. You haven't been quiet about your dislike of Lexie- but I'm as much Lexie as I am Audrey. You don't have to figure it out today, but you will soon." She patted his shoulder, trying to clear the lump from her throat. He hadn't even really told her he loved her. Hell, he might not.

Without another word, she walked into the office.

She saw Dave first, and couldn't repress her happy smile as she ran over, perching carefully on his lap to hug him tightly. "I missed you so much!"

He blushed adorably. "I missed you, too. When did you remember?"

"Duke came into the Barn, made me remember. I remembered everything, came back whole. Is Vinny flipping out?"

"Oh, that's a fair assessment. You know how he is."

Just then, Vince entered. He spotted Lexie reclined in Dave's lap, one arm over his shoulders, the other hand twirling her hair as she stared back.

"Miss DeWitt. Thank you for coming by."

"Such a friendly invite, how could I refuse?"

They stared each other down, everyone else silent as they watched.

Lexie won. Sighing, Vince sat in his chair and Lexie relaxed as Dave traced another star on her back. Smiling, she traced a figure eight on his leg.

"Okay Vince, you wanted to talk. Now that you're not surrounded by the Goon Squad, let's talk."

"There's talk that you were able to help Jordan with her affliction. Is that true?"

She tilted her head, staring at Vince as she stayed cradled on Dave's lap. "You mean the electrical charge in her skin? Sure. Of course I helped her, that's no way to live."

"What I mean to say is, how did you help her?"

"Not by killing anyone, that's a big start. You can't fix bad with bad. I'll play nice, but if anyone gets hurt or even threatened, I'm out- I won't work with people who can only function when they're hurting other people. Been there, done that. Can you give me your personal oath, Vince? Your Troth?"

She'd chosen her words very carefully- Vince had no problem lying, but his _oath_ was sacred to him. One thing he would never break.

His eyes flashed to hers, knowing she'd used those words on purpose- but there were only three people who knew to use those words, and two of them were long gone, far beyond his reach. Yet this girl was draped over his brother like they were... old friends. He looked closer, squinting.

"Who are you?"

"Your oath, Vince. Or I'm getting up and walking out."

It looked like it physically hurt him to say, but he finally huffed, muttering, "You have my word" under his breath.

"Sorry, didn't catch that. Loud and clear, Vince. Make sure our witnesses hear."

She was needling him, but none of the parts of her personality objected. He had forced them to jump through enough hoops. It was his turn.

"I give you my solemn oath that nobody will be harmed."

Lexie stood and smiled, straightened up, shook her hair back and approached Vince.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Now will you tell me?"

"I took you to the hospital when you ate the rhubarb pie Eva Dunlevy baked you. She didn't know the leaves were poisonous."

"Sarah?"

She looked back at Nathan and Duke, an apology in her eyes though they didn't know why.

"You took me to the hospital when I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. You stayed with me and Dave when they killed our baby."

She was staring down, playing with her rings. She didn't want to see the looks on Duke's and Nathan's faces.

"But how? How do you remember multiple lives, how did you cure Jordan, how did you come back?"

"Duke. Duke, Duke and Duke. He came into the Barn, he made me remember. He helped me fix his Trouble so we could cure Jordan and he helped me get back. He's the only one who can safely remove Troubles, and you absolutely _have_ to keep him and Nathan safe."

"How much do you remember?"

"Everything, Vince. Everything. Tell me- who was Howard talking to? You or Garland?"

"Don't blame Garland. We've been told to contact Howard anytime the Troubles came back, that he'd bring help. Farther back than anyone really knows. I should have made the call, but I was so damned tired and I figured maybe if we didn't request you you'd be left in peace. We tried everything else."

Lexie pulled up a chair, sitting between the brothers. She was really, really tired.

"He was right to call. It's my job. My duty." She looked at Duke, a sad half-smile on her face. "I just realized. When you make a home, you make a family. When you make a family... there are no term limits. It's for life."

She looked at her feet. "We can talk tomorrow. I'm beat, we've had no rest, I died, I got travel sick- I need to sleep. We'll meet tomorrow." She stood, putting her chair back. She patted Vince on the shoulder, kissed Dave on the cheek and stood with Duke and Nathan, avoiding their eyes.

"We still need to check the _Rouge_ before we can sleep. I- oh. That is, I mean to say- right, right, I have an apartment. Sorry, just tired. Um, excuse me."

She walked quickly to the door, closing it carefully before she bolted, running around the side of the building.

What in hell was she _thinking_? She had actually forgotten that Duke didn't really live with her. Not to mention accidentally dropping an h-bomb on them. She couldn't have told them before, she hadn't had access to Lucy's memories. But she didn't want them to find out this way. All these little errors taken alone could be blamed on sleepiness. This many huge oversights in one day? That's terminal stupidity.

"So, why the time-out this time? Did Nate piss you off again?"

"Damnit, Duke." She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself.

He came around to face her, reaching to tilt her chin up. "Why'd you panic?"

"That wasn't panic. I don't panic. _Ever_."

"Why'd you run, then?"

"You'll think I'm stupid."

"Not likely, beautiful."

"I forgot you don't live with me." Lexie whispered quickly. "I told you, it's stupid."

"Lexie, come here." He pulled her into his arms. She counted her breaths, trying to force away the silly tears that threatened.

"I'm sorry. I've been so weird all day, and I should have told you about the stuff between Lucy-me and Dave. I suck."

"So you have a past. So do I. You said it yourself- I may not be your first, but I want to be your last." He gave her that sweet, heartbreaking smile that always made her gooey.

"Yeah?" She put her fingers in his belt loops, smiling up at him.

"Oh, yeah. And can I tell you a secret?"

"Anything." Lexie breathed.

"I wasn't going to sleep away from you. I'm not sure I can." Duke's whisper made her shiver.

Their lips had just met when they heard the door close and they broke apart as Duke muttered, "Fucking _timing_ , people."

"Well, they're not shooting anyone, at least." Nathan came around to them. "Made me realize something, though."

"What's that, Nathan?"

"I forgot to say the most important thing."

He walked up to them, wrapping one hand against each of their necks and pulling them against him in a hug. "I missed you, I'm so glad to see you both and _welcome home_. Please don't disappear again."

Lexie barked a relieved laugh, hugging him back and kissing his cheek.

"You're still in there after all, Nathan."


	13. Gotta Start Somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get paid only in reviews, pm's and new friends. That's way better than money.

The trio were quiet for a moment as Nathan started the Bronco. Lexie rested her head back, waiting for someone to speak. She kept her backpack in her lap. She'd been unwilling to leave it unguarded.

Just when the silence was making her nervous, Nathan spoke.

"Can I ask a question?"

"You just did. You may ask more though, if you like. I don't mind."

"I noticed you and Dave seemed to be... talking. When he was touching you. That something you're willing to share?"

She appreciated that he was trying to be nice, so she was honest.

"When I was Lucy, Dave and I developed our own shorthand. Had to, since Vince loved to argue and it's almost _impossible_ to get a word in edgewise when he's on a tear. Little things- a star on my back means 'You've got this' or 'Winner'. An ouroboros- the sideways figure 8- means 'always'. Hearts are obvious. Bird means 'let's fly' or 'let's go. A fish means 'ignore it', because it's something you can't fight- fish gotta swim, you know? Inverted cross means 'This is a bad, bad person'. Exclamation point means either we're shocked or we stumbled onto something important. We have a lot of signals."

Lexie's stomach rumbled loudly.

Duke looked at her. "Hungry? What do you want?"

"Seriously, don't even ask. _Everything_ sounds good right now. Like bacon cheese fries. Milkshakes. Oh, or sushi! You know, some places put an egg in the middle of a pizza, so the yolk goes all runny when you cut it. Oh, or spaghetti. Fried spaghetti with a fried egg on top. _That's_ what sounds good." She stopped to take a breath and her brow furrowed. "Nice, Lexie. Dumbass."

She crossed her arms defensively, trying to disappear into the seat, blushing in the darkness of the Bronco. "Sorry, it's been a long day. Didn't mean to leak crazy on you."

Duke laughed as he grabbed her hand. "You know how hard it is for me _not_ to make that dirty? We can get the stuff at the store, I can figure this out."

Nathan chuckled. "Finally, something _I_ can translate. She wants chow mein, tempura shrimp and probably... pot stickers or crab rangoon." His eyes never left the road, but he had an adorable smile on his face.

"Holy crap, you're right! How did you know that? I didn't even know that!"

He was trying to look very serious, but it was obvious he was barely repressing laughter. "Well, I extrapolated from previous knowledge of the subject and used that to... Aw hell, I can't match you on the science-talk. I've been living on take-out for six months. And Audrey's part of you, I know what she eats. I'll go pick up food after I drop you at the _Rouge_."

Lexie was stunned. But this was her chance to prove something important.

"What does Duke eat?"

Nathan didn't miss a beat. "For Chinese? Shrimp with black bean sauce, wonton soup and extra eggrolls, _always_ with hot mustard. Sometimes curry tofu if he's off meat."

She eyed Duke. His mouth was open, his eyes wide in surprise.

Lexie smiled, squeezing Duke's fingers. She'd been right. Nathan was still in love with Duke.

* * *

 

They waved from the deck of the ship as Nathan drove off to fetch food. Duke was unlocking the door when Lexie leaned up on her toes, brushing Duke's ear as she spoke.

"We're alone, Duke. Nathan won't be back for at least 30 minutes. No audience, no interruptions and I've never had sex on a boat."

He shivered, almost dropping his keys before he wrenched the door open, pulling Lexie in as he kicked the door shut behind them.

She was already unbuckling his belt, stretching to kiss his lips. As he picked her up she wrapped her legs around him, hands wrapped in his hair tugging insistently.

They got as far as the kitchen. Duke backed her up to the counter, shoving a stack of papers aside as he set her down, kissing her intently, pulling her so tight against him that they shared the same space. She kicked off her shoes and freed him, pushing his jeans down with her feet as she wrapped her hand around him, squeezing as she stroked.

Duke hissed through his teeth. He grabbed her ass, holding her up as he thrust into her.

Her head fell back and she groaned loudly. It was such a relief not having to be quiet or hide, and she scratched at him, almost snarling as she brought her face up to kiss him. She was rough, desperate and crazed with need.

Duke responded to her as he always did; matching her without thought. They moved together, and Lexie had the fleeting thought that they were rocking the whole ship- hell, the whole _ocean_ \- as she pushed back against him.

She pulled his face to her throat, squeezing around him over and over, _dragging_ the sounds from him. Everything from the sound of his gasps, the quiet grunts and sighs to the look on his face- eyes half-closed, hair messy and the tightening of his jaw made her hotter. She leaned back on one arm, still clutching his shoulder with the other hand as she tilted her hips, pulling him deeper.

"Duke, yes, there, there- fuck, Duke, I can't-"

"Oh, you can, Lexie. You will, for me. I'm yours, Lexie. I want to hear you come."

His words were like hands on her and inside her. Her eyes rolled and she dug her fingers into his shoulder as she cried his name. Her voice dropped to a quiet groan and she said his name over and over, unable to say anything else. But oh, it was a challenge- she wanted to make him come with her voice, not just her body.

Challenge accepted.

"Duke," she panted, "Duke, you feel so _good_. I love the way you feel inside me. Gods, you're amazing. Duke. Duke- I _love_ you, Duke. I want you forever. Be mine. Show me you're mine!"

She shouted the last sentence, both hands on his face, forcing him to look at her. She stared into his eyes, watching as his breath stopped, tremors ripping through him, sweating and gasping her name as she tilted just a little, forcing him as deep as possible as he came.

They held each other, trying to catch their breath. He pulled from her, their arms still wrapped together.

"Damn, Lexie," he pressed his forehead against hers, "that was amazing. What are you _doing_ to me?"

She grinned devilishly, still holding him as she slipped down to her feet. "I'm trying to be the last. I want you to need me so bad that you can't even get hard with other women. I want to be the first thing you think of in the morning and the last at night. I want you to dream of me every night."

"I already do, Lexie. I already do."

* * *

 

They straightened their clothes, sitting together on the couch to wait for Nathan. Lexie was cuddled as closely as she could without actually being in his lap. She held his hand, playing with his fingers as she spoke hesitantly.

"I need to explain something. It's hard, so please don't interrupt, or I'll never get it out."

Duke nodded, worried.

"I was imagining what you must think, but I want you to know, I'm not normally a huge mega-slut. I know it seems that way, but I just- I can't _not_ touch you. It's easier for me to touch, to try to explain without the words. But now, here, I feel too much, out of control and you're the only thing that makes me feel... I don't know. Whole. Better. Happy.

"I hate the idea that you must feel like I'm using you or something. It's not about the sex, Duke. It's about _you_. I need you. That- that's all." Lexie stared at her fingers, fidgeting.

"Lexie, look at me."

"I am." Technically. She was looking at a button on his shirt.

"My eyes are up here."

She couldn't help but smile a little at the teasing tone. She sighed, meeting his eyes.

"Come here." He uttered the words in a hushed, serious tone.

She climbed into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

"Lexie, I promise you- the thought you're afraid of _never_ occurred to me. Not once. God Lexie, do you think that about me? That I'm using you?"

Her head snapped up. "No! Of _course_ not, that's ridiculous!"

"Exactly. Yes, ideally I want you everywhere, every second. I'd _live_ between your legs." He smiled at her quiet gasp. "Unfortunately, people want to actually talk to us and expect us to be clothed- so I will gladly take any time we can get. Here, against trees, in the car..."

"The car sounds fun "

Duke laughed and kissed her. "Remember the Barn, Lexie. We know that words get in the way and this is how we choose to communicate. I love you and I know you love me."

"You know?"

"Yeah. I do. I know that you're in love with me. I belong to you, you belong to me. That's what matters. The rest is details."

She was still kissing him, her heart in her eyes, when they heard Nathan opening the door. Duke automatically started to sit back and Lexie broke the kiss but stayed parked in his lap.

"Sorry it took so long." Nathan set the bags down, smiling at Duke and Lexie. She smiled back, proud that he wasn't glaring or being pissy.

"You're still being celebrated just for knowing what to get, thank you so much for going." She reached out to grasp Nathan's hand, a sweet, grateful smile on her face. "Come on, sit on the couch with us and eat."

She looked at Duke. "I'm guessing you need me to move if you're going to eat, huh?"

"You underestimate me. Stay put."

"Okay then. Come on, Nathan." She tapped the couch next to them with her bare foot, smiling when he sat next to them.

They passed out the containers and utensils, eating.

Lexie moaned loudly. "Oh my Gods, this is _exactly_ what I wanted. Thank you so, so much, Nathan!"

He smiled, blushing. "I got to buy dinner for you two. I never thought I'd be able to do that again, so trust me when I say it's my pleasure."

His eyes were just slightly red, and Lexie felt his tears locked inside him. She swallowed, putting down her box and squeezing Duke's knee as she slid off the couch, kneeling in front of Nathan. Without the anger driving her, she could sense his emotions. For the first time since she landed she really looked at him.

He was too thin. _Way_ too thin. He'd said he lived on fast food for six months, but not enough, apparently.

She knew he didn't bruise the way she did- he didn't bruise easily and when he did, they were never the dark purple-black that she got- but he was definitely injured. It looked like he'd taken a beating... or ten. There were lines around his eyes, more pronounced because he was so gaunt.

She raised her hand to his face, tracing a mark. He flinched though her touch was gentle.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't," he murmured. "I just didn't feel it until you were touching."

"I'm sorry my touch caused you pain."

"Please don't be. I haven't felt anything in months. I don't _care_ if it's pain. It feels better than the nothingness."

She hugged him carefully, pressing her cheek against his. She felt him press his face into her hair, breathing deeply. A moment later, he shuddered and she felt his tears on her neck.

Her poor, sweet, broken boys. They'd suffered so much. She wanted to protect them. To catch any pain that came for them, forcing it away.

"Hush, Nathan. We're here. We're not leaving. I'm sorry you hurt, _so_ sorry. But we're here now. And we'll fix your Trouble, I promise. I don't have the strength to do it today or I would. Maybe we should try anyway. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Whoa, whoa. I want to fix Nate as bad as you, but you absolutely _cannot_ handle it tonight. You're already exhausted. You need food and rest. You _died_ , Lexie. You have to get your strength back first. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else."

Lexie was surprised by the fear, the worry in his eyes.

"Can you give me the night to rest, Nathan? I hate to admit it, but he's right. I'm _not_ at my strongest, though it pains me to admit it." Lexie grimaced, obviously unhappy about not being strong enough.

"I can wait as long as you need. I really don't ever want to see anyone do CPR on you again." Nathan's voice was rough with tears. "I didn't care if you could fix the Troubles. I just wanted you both _back_. I hated myself so much, when Duke disappeared with you, I wanted to go back, fix everything. I thought... I thought you were dead, Duke. I thought you were dead and you were both gone. I didn't want to keep going."

Duke swallowed hard, blinking. He set his food down, reaching out to take Nathan's hand, holding their hands up so Nathan could see.

"I'm not dead. I'm sorry you were alone and I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that you _did_ keep going. We were worried about you, trying to get home to you. I'm sorry, Nate."

Lexie was still kneeling on the floor, and she watched in fascination as Nathan grabbed Duke, hugging him and pressing his face into his shoulder. Lexie saw Nathan sniff Duke, his eyes closing as a tear tracked down his cheek, a sweet smile on his face.

It was a good start.

"I could use a drink. Can I grab you guys a beer? I'm sure you must have some."

Duke had just pulled back, still holding Nathan's hand. _Shit_. Lexie shouldn't be drinking. He even had mandatory signs up in the _Gull_ that warned against drinking during... he wasn't even going to think the word, afraid some stray bit of magic would shout it from his head.

"I'll go see. You guys, eat. I'm serious. Be right back."

Shit, shit, shit. He _did_ have beer. Looking over his shoulder, Duke poured out the whiskey before turning to the beer, thinking. He finally got lucky, spotting two cans of non-alcoholic beer toward the back of the mostly-empty fridge. He pulled out three glasses, carefully pouring the near-beer into one, regular into the others.

He came back smiling, handing a glass to Nathan before handing Lexie her cup. Satisfied, he sat, picking up his food.

He'd taken a few bites when he felt eyes on him.

Duke glanced up to see Lexie staring at him through narrowed eyes. What now?

He smiled at her with an innocent expression. She tilted her head, staring at him as she ate. After a moment, she smiled mischievously, picking up a noodle with her chopsticks, putting the end in her mouth and then sucking the rest of it in slowly. He breathed a sigh, relieved and aroused at once.

They finished dinner, praising Nathan like he'd cooked it himself. Lexie yawned.

"I need a shower and some sleep. Maybe we should talk more tomorrow."

"Right. I should be going, didn't realize how late it was." Nathan stood, hands in his pockets as he shuffled his feet. He and Duke wore similar looks, like they didn't want to separate.

"Wait a second, Nathan. Duke, can I have a word?"

"Sure, Lexie." Duke followed her to a different room.

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"I was hoping you'd say that. I thought I was going to have to break in to your apartment like some sparkly stalker vampire."

She chuckled. "What do you think about inviting Nathan to stay in the guest bedroom tonight? He looks so afraid to leave. He really, really loves you."

"You think so?"

"The only way it would be more obvious is if his tongue were down your throat, Duke."

He blushed, trying not to grin. "Yeah, we'll see if he wants to stay."

When they returned, Nathan hadn't moved at all, hands still in his pockets.

"Nathan?"

"Yes, Au... Lexie?" She smiled when he corrected himself.

"Either name is fine, Nathan. Or my birth name, which Duke sometimes uses."

"You know your birth name? What is it?" He sounded like a kid, all wonder and excitement, and it made her smile.

"My name is Mara, but Audrey and Lexie are both fine too."

"Mara. That's a beautiful name."

"Only the way you and Duke say it. But we were wondering, do you want to sleep here, in the extra bedroom tonight? You'd just have to come back in the morning anyway."

His smile was bright enough to light up the entire room, though he tried to sound calm and normal. "Really? Are you sure? I'm okay if you want me to go home."

"No, Nathan. I think you should stay. It's been a long, crazy day and we'd feel better if we knew you were here safe. I worry about the guys from the Guard."

"I have pajamas you can wear, Nate. The spare bed is all made and everything. Please?"

"I'd love that, thank you."

Lexie showered and shaved while Duke brushed his teeth, then they switched, him showering while she brushed. She stole a t-shirt that hung almost to her knees.

They came back out together, and Lexie smiled to see Nathan in Duke's pajamas.

"You look good, Nathan. I was honestly surprised to hear Duke even owned pajamas. I figured he slept naked."

"He always used to."

Nathan realized what he'd said almost immediately, clapping his hand over his mouth as his face turned crimson.

Lexie laughed happily. "Win-win. I was right, and you got into Duke's pants. Pretty good for a first day back." She kissed his cheek.

The expression of horrified, embarrassed shock made her take pity.

"It's good, Nathan. Don't be embarrassed. We'll talk tomorrow, but just remember- I'm _good_ with that. Now get some rest. Lots to do tomorrow."

Duke had locked up, turning off the lights. They left Nathan at the spare bedroom and closed themselves in Duke's bedroom.


	14. I Hope You Understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Haven or Jim Croce.

Lexie was climbing under the covers in Duke's bed when she groaned loudly.

"You have the most comfortable bed _ever_. Holy hell, how do you ever leave this boat?"

Duke chuckled, pulling off his pajamas and crawling in next to her. "I used to get up so I could see you. Now that you're here, though...."

He tickled her side and she laughed, trying to tickle him back. But he was bigger, stronger and had longer fingers. In a tickle fight, she had no hope. But if she changed the stakes....

She acted quickly, twisting to wrap her legs around Duke and pressing her mouth to his.

The tickling stopped immediately as one hand went around her back, the other tangling in her long, damp hair as he kissed her.

"You were saying something about me being here?" Her words were mumbled against his lips.

"Fuck it, words can wait." Then he was kissing her, every ounce of stress from the day driving him.

She pushed, rolling to straddle him. She was sitting up, hands pressed to his chest as she stared at his face in the soft light. Her chest felt tight, and she didn't think it had anything to do with her ribs. He was utterly, indescribably beautiful. Every curve and plane of him. This man, he could have anyone, anyone in the world- and he wanted her.

She still had no panties, hadn't thought to bring clothes from the apartment. There was nothing between them and she could feel him hardening beneath her. Staring into his eyes, she pulled off her borrowed shirt, unashamed of the dark purple bruises. They were signs that this man had brought her back to life.

The look in his eyes- the dark, hungry look- made her bold, and she stroked her fingers over his chest and then down his arms, pulling his hands up over his head and holding them there.

"Wanna play a game?" Her voice was a husky whisper.

He pushed his hips up against her. "What game?"

"You keep your hands right here. No moving them. I'm going to see if you need me as badly as I need you." She leaned over, raining kisses on his face. A thousand kisses for a thousand missed opportunities. He was smiling, confident that he could win.

He kept his hands over his head as she kissed down his throat, stopping to suck gently, nibbling on him. He made the sweetest little whine-groan whenever her teeth touched him, and she found it ridiculously sexy. She left a hickey on his collar bone, then kissed down his chest.

He shifted slightly and she gazed into his eyes. "Keep your hands up as long as you can, Duke." She made her tone seductive, "This is the first actual bed we've shared."

His breathing was harsh and ragged, but when she nibbled his belly button he stopped breathing completely. She grinned devilishly, darting her tongue out to lick around it.

She pressed her hands against his chest, scratching down, over his hips. She kissed and licked down his abdomen, pressing a teasing kiss on the head of his cock. He gasped and Lexie grinned. Another long, slow lick from base to tip. She could see strain in his arms, and his hands were fisted in the pillow. He was so determined to _win_.

So was she.

She moved to lick him again, and as her tongue flicked against the head she suddenly moved quickly, pulling him as far into her mouth as she could- swirling her tongue as she pressed her fingers into the skin of his hips. She bobbed her head, lips tight around him. He gasped, his hands flying to her hair as she sucked.

Oh, winning still felt so _good_!

She raised her head to grin at Duke. "I win."

Duke's eyes were dangerous, sharp as blades. "I don't know if I'd say that just yet, Lexie."

He pulled her up, kissing her neck, one arm tight around her waist.

"Open your legs, beautiful. Straddle me. It's time to test _you_."

His voice gave her goosebumps, and she knelt up, her legs on either side of his hips. She braced her hands on his shoulders, rubbing herself against him as she sighed, rocking. She didn't see his hand moving until it was on her, stroking and rubbing. Her head dropped back, lost in sensation as she pushed down against his hand.

"What do you mean by 'test'?" Lexie breathed

"I know it's been a long day. But I want to see how many times I can make you come."

She whispered, all her breath stolen from that delicious, dangerous threat, "I'm hearing a lot of talk, Crocker."

"Let me fix that."

Duke grasped her hips, raising her up before he slowly pulled her down onto him, sheathing himself inside her.

She forgot how to breathe for a moment, the pressure of him filling her driving the thoughts from her head. Her long hair was a curtain, hanging around them as she squeezed.

Lexie moved one hand, as Duke had done, to where they were connected. As she moved, her fingers traced his body, her body, and she was already shaking. The feeling was so intense. But she could still win too.

"Duke," she whispered, "I need you. Please, please take me." She rocked her pelvis in a slow circle, drawing a moan from him. The sound made her move faster, harder. She gripped his shoulders as she loved him.

With a low groan, he flipped them over, better to watch Lexie come undone. He laid a soft kiss against her ear, waited for her to meet his eyes, and then he thrust, hard and deep, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. After the impossible day they'd been through, _this_ was what she was craving; Duke, hard inside her, moving her entire body with each thrust.

She was tensing, building and she couldn't fight it, raising her hips to meet him with equal force. She was so keyed up, her system overloaded, and already she was arching, every muscle in her body tightening as she came, whipping her head from side to side.

Still he pressed on, thrusting into her like his life depended on it. Not two minutes later the climax hit again, as if it hadn't actually abated, just simmering under the surface. "Duke, Duke please, I need you. I want you to come for me." She wrapped her arms around his neck, scratching and pulling at him.

"What do you want, Lexie?" His voice was rough like sandpaper, but soft as velvet.

"I want _you_! I want to see you. To see you loving me."

His voice was low and serious. "All you ever had to do was open your eyes."

Then he was pounding into her, and she met his thrusts as long as she could but she was too close again. She squeezed around him, hands on his face so she could kiss him.

She had to push him over the edge.

She moved to kiss his neck, and the next time he pushed deep, she clenched her muscles and bit his shoulder. Suddenly the climax was tearing through him, too, and he moaned, jerking inside her, warming her insides. A few more thrusts, and he rested his forehead against hers, breathing hard.

She locked her legs around him, very serious.

"I love you, Duke. Do you understand? I want to be with you. I want to sleep next to you. I want it all, Duke."

"Then stay with me. Let's get your stuff and bring you home. Here, with me. Stay with me. Live with me, Mara."

His use of her true name, his urgent tone, the utter seriousness in his eyes made her tremble.

"You're willing to do that, knowing what I am?"

He laughed. "Willing? I'm fucking begging. Lexie. Audrey. Mara. I need you here."

She was blinking back tears. Her arms tightened around him. "Ask me in the morning. I might snore or talk in my sleep or something. If you still want me here.... yeah. Yes, I'll stay with you." She kissed him slowly, with every fiber of her being. He gently pulled from her body and she slipped his shirt back on- they _did_ have a guest.

Duke leaned back against his pillow, grinning.

"What's that look for?"

He stretched sinuously. "Who, me? I'm reveling. You know, rolling around naked in an _awesome_ fucking feeling."

She muffled her laughter in his chest as she cuddled up against him.

* * *

 

It was very dark, maybe 3 a.m. when Lexie woke. It took her a minute to figure out why she was awake , but after a moment, she heard the creaking of the bedroom door.

Too dark to see, Lexie squinted, finally making out a tall, familiar figure.

"Nathan? What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry. I... this sounds so stupid.... I had a nightmare. Wanted to make sure you were both really here."

Lexie's heart broke for him. "Come here, Nathan. You can sleep in here." She patted the empty space next to her. "I'd offer you the middle, but I'm greedy."

"Parker, are you sure?"

The old surname fallback made her smile.

"Get over here, Wuornos." She held the blanket up and he crawled right in. It took her a minute to realize he was shaking.

She moved a little, pulling him until he rested his head on her shoulder. She rubbed his back and realized he was shirtless. "Am I hurting you, Nathan?"

"No." He was crying, she could hear it in his voice even before the tears permeated the fabric of her shirt.

She stroked his back with the arm she had around him- her other hand still firmly ensconced with Duke's.

"I'm sorry you've been hurting, Nathan. Please, talk to me."

"I dreamed you were still gone. I was alone. No you, no Duke. And I _knew_ it was my fault. Then you came back and didn't remember me- didn't like me at all. I... I just..." He buried his face in her shoulder, the tears overwhelming him.

Gods, he wasn't talking about a nightmare. He was talking about their day. The last six months, for him.

"Oh, Nathan. Of course I remember. I had to pretend, don't you understand? They wanted a quick fix and thought getting me to kill you would somehow be a magic bullet." She shivered. "No pun intended. And yes, I was angry with you. But you can only get that mad at someone you really love."

"When you were yelling at me, you said something, and I can't stop thinking about it."

She was still rubbing his back as she asked, "Which part?"

"You said it was unfair having someone you're in love with telling you to shoot them."

"Mmm. I did, and I meant it. It _was_ unfair."

His voice was barely audible as he asked, "Did you mean it, when you said you were in love with me?"

Silly, foolish man. "Yes, I did. I am."

"But what about you and Duke?"

"What about _you_ and Duke?"

"I wrecked that years ago."

"Nathan, you love him."

"That doesn't matter, Audrey- sorry, _Lexie_. Once you kill love, you can't bring it back."

"Funny thing about love. It's hard to kill. Nathan, do you honestly think he'd take all those punches and insults if he didn't love you?"

"That's why he _can't_ love me. I hurt him."

"Nathan, he understands. It kills him to see you unhappy. He loves you."

"But... I don't understand, Au- sorry, Lexie- what does that mean for any of us?"

She trailed her fingernails gently up his back, loving the way he responded to her touch. Just her, in all the world. He shivered, pressing his face farther against her. She could hear him sniffing her.

"It means the logical thing, the right thing, is to be a trio, not a couple. It's not that unusual. Polyamory. You love Duke and you love me, Duke loves us both and I love you both. Why does it have to be a choice? _If_ you do love me, of course."

"If I... seriously? If? You must know how I feel."

Stubborn, pigheaded man.

"No, Nathan. I don't know. I can only guess. You have to _say_ something for someone to know." This time _her_ voice was rough, but still she kept the tears back.

"Parker, of course I love you."

She rolled her eyes in the darkness

"Nathan, you love Laverne. You love the station. You love the Moose Museum. Doesn't mean you're in love. There's a difference between 'love' and ' _in love_ '."

He sounded amused. "Are you comparing yourself to the Moose Farm?"

"In a manner of speaking."

Nathan was very quiet for a moment. "You just want me to say it, don't you?"

She shrugged, knowing he'd feel the motion.

His head was still nestled against her shoulder, and it almost felt like he was smiling. "Audrey. Mara. I'm crazy in love with you. Stupid crazy. Have been almost since I met you."

"You mean after we stopped pointing our guns at each other?"

He turned his head to muffle his laugh against her shirt.

"Maybe before. I still laugh sometimes about how stubborn and sarcastic you were, teetering on that cliff. No screaming or begging for you, no."

She chuckled quietly. "I was a little too anxious to throw in the 'Captain Obvious' part. I remember I almost went over switching off the radio because I didn't want to die with that song playing."

"Bravest, most stubborn woman I ever met."

"Yeah, well right back at you, Wuornos."

"Never said I wasn't stubborn."

"Oh, I think you did. Speaking of you being stubborn, are you ready to tell me you're in love with Duke?"

"Audrey, if I say that... it means I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. That's one of the lowest things you can be, right above pedophiles or rapists."

Lexie froze.

"Don't you ever, _ever_ compare yourself to them. I _know_ pedophiles and rapists, and you are nothing like that. Nothing, do you hear me?" Now she was shivering, imagining Nathan trying to equate himself to... _him_.

He squeezed her in a hug. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Please relax, I'm sorry I brought up bad memories."

She was focused on her breathing, trying to calm down.

"It's not just the memories, Nathan. I can't stand the thought of you lumping yourself in with him. You're not like that. And I know Duke feels the same."

"Lexie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you killed him. I don't know the story, but I'm glad you did."

"If I tell you what happened, will you tell me how you feel about Duke?"

"I won't leverage you like that. You don't have to say anything that hurts you. Yes, I love Duke. Been in love with him since we were kids."

Lexie hugged him with the arm she had around him. "I didn't kill him because he raped me. Had been for about two years. I killed him because he was going to shoot me up. _Heroin_. I didn't plan it. His knife was there and I knew what would happen."

"Then I'm doubly glad. If you hadn't, I'd track him down and do it myself."

She had to change the subject. Absolutely had to.

"You're in love with Duke. Thank you for admitting it. Nathan, do you trust me to try something? It won't hurt."

"Trust you with my life, go ahead."

She smiled a little. "This is going to freak you out, so please stay calm, okay?"

He sounded hesitant. "It's okay. You've freaked me out before."

She carefully pulled her left hand from Duke's, holding it up as she focused. The Maze blazed to life, blinding in the darkness.

It made Nathan gasp, and she chuckled before taking his hand, focusing. She pulled it over her, pressing Nathan's fingers against Duke's ribs. She knew it worked when she heard Nathan's quiet, surprised gasp. "How? I can't feel anything else."

"I know how to communicate with the Aether inside you. To direct it. This is about the most I can manage without curing your Trouble, which I _promise_ we will do. I promise. But Nathan, you have to forgive yourself. Me and Duke are a package deal. You take one, you take both. Think about it. And get some sleep. We're right here where you can feel us. Both of us."

"I'm not sure I can sleep."

Lexie made sure he was lying comfortably against her, his hand still touching Duke, and she quietly began to sing.

_"Well, I know it's kind of late_

_I hope I didn't wake you_

_But what I got to say can't wait_

_I know you'd understand_

_Every time I tried to tell you_

_The words just came out wrong_

_So I'll have to say I love you in a song._

_Yeah, I know it's kind of strange_

_But every time I'm near you_

_I just run out of things to say_

_I know you'd understand_

_Every time I tried to tell you_

_The words just came out wrong_

_So I'll have to say I love you in a song_

_Yeah, I know it's kind of late_

_I hope I didn't wake you_

_But there's something that I just got to say_

_I know you'd understand_

_Every time I tried to tell you_

_The words just came out wrong_

_So I'll have to say I love you in a song"_

As she fell silent, she heard Nathan's tiny, quiet snoring and a knot of stress melted away. He'd be okay.

She was staring at the ceiling when she heard Duke's quiet whisper.

"You really can do anything."

She twined their fingers together. "No. But we can. Together. Sleep. Sleep knowing I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Oh, and that it's Nathan snoring, not me."

Duke chuckled softly and they slept, all managing to touch. All managing to feel the only things that mattered- each other.


	15. Love Letters and Warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wouldn't wait 14 chapters to suddenly break copyright.

The next time Lexie woke, there was muted light coming into the room. Both men were still asleep. She wanted to go back to sleep, but something was wrong. It felt like the inside of her skin was itching. Anxious, like something was pulling her.

She slipped out of the covers and crawled down the middle of the bed. When her feet hit the ground the pull intensified, feeling like hooks around her bones and she followed, moving unerringly through the dim ship. Every step made her feel heavier, the air dense around her. It felt like trying to run underwater.

It pulled her into a room she'd maybe seen once in passing. Nothing extraordinary, just the typical piles of books and exotic trinkets that filled the rest of Duke's- maybe of _her_ \- home. Tilting her head back and forth, she pulled her feelings back, and Mara stared around the room with her mind.

She finally found the source of the pull- the beautiful, small old silver box. It was freezing to the touch, and the pull was so strong she had to hold her breath and arch her back, cradling the box to her as she made her way back to the bedroom, where she knelt next to Duke's side.

She took a moment to just look, appreciating the way he looked asleep- no masks or fear or worry. A tiny smile was on his lips, suggesting happy dreams. She didn't want to wake him, but what had started as pulling turned to mad shaking that got continuously worse, her body reacting to the box.

She put a hand to his face, whispering. "Duke? Duke, wake up. Duke?"

He twitched, blinking at her. "Best. Dream. _Ever_."

She couldn't stop her smile, but she was serious as she spoke softly, trying not to wake Nathan. "I wasn't snooping, I swear. There was this pull, this attraction... I don't know what to call it. Duke, can you tell me anything more about this? I know the big one, but this isn't the same. Something is different."

Duke didn't move, but his brow furrowed as he whispered back. "It held the key to the murder-Mara box. Nothing else but bad memories."

"Duke, this box is Aether-touched. Something else is going on." Lexie jerked, panting. "It's screaming, Duke. It's _screaming_."

"Lexie, sweetheart, why are you shaking? What can I do?"

"I don't know! It hurts! Give... give me my backpack. I need Aether."

Duke leapt from the bed with cat-like agility, bounding to grab her bag and hand it to her. He quickly pulled on some pajama pants and sat on the floor, pulling Lexie's back against his front as his arms enveloped her, trying to help calm her uncontrollable shaking.

Lexie yanked the bag open, pulling out an orb and crushing it. "Hold on to me, Duke." Breathing heavily, she touched her blackened hand to the silver.

A brilliant, blinding blue light flashed, and there was a woman before them. Not solid, a holographic recording. Beautiful, lush dark hair, long, elegant limbs. Mara gasped. She knew this woman.

" _Two_." Mara whispered. "Your mother, Duke."

They didn't have time to say more. The image started speaking, voice quiet yet strong.

"Four, if you get this, I'm not there. Gods, I pray you get it if I'm not there. The Hunter went after Three. Killed him somehow without the bond harming me. I can't get anyone from home to respond. He's going to kill us all, and the Cause.... I don't even want to know. He's after you and nobody knows why.

"I broke the leash, Four. I don't know how long it'll take him to find me, I'm just praying for time. I'm pregnant, in Haven. One wiped out half the population of my sector. I didn't know where else to go. Your sector is the only one that's halfway safe. He's playing some kind of game, I can't understand the rules, so I don't know how to fight!

"I met a man here, Simon Crocker." Mara saw a rare smile playing on Two's face as she talked about him.

"He's charming and funny and brilliant, and he loves me. I wish you could meet him, he's amazing. I don't know how long I can keep us hidden though. Especially with Three gone and nobody answering.

"Look, I locked all the Thinnies I could find here. Maybe it'll buy us time. But if I don't make it, get a message to my baby. _Please_ , Four. Tell him how much I love Simon and him- it's a boy, I just know it. Tell him that my whole life has been dedicated to helping people. I will never leave him on purpose, but if One comes, I'm going to do my best to lead him away, keep my family safe. Let him know I'd do anything for him, and tell him that I picked his name to remind him that he's special. More than a human, more than one of _us._ He'll have the very best of both our races.

"His father is Aether-touched. I guess you guys call it "Troubled" here. My Duke is going to be so special. If you find him, take care of him. I know how hard it is being born with a job, and tell him I'm sorry. He's the only one who could possibly help you stop One. His father's family absorbs Aether from others who have been affected. You're the one who gave them the Gift, Four. You trained with me, you know what that means for my baby.

"Tell him I love him. That I live for him, and that every moment he's growing inside me, I'm loving him. Gods, I'm trying to give him a lifetime of love every day, because I don't know how long we'll have. Make sure he understands. When he's grown, love him as much as I do. I'm low on Aether, but I'll try to leave more messages if things change.

"Four..."

The hologram Two chuckled, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I heard One say your name is Mara. My name is Illeana. We're more than numbers. I did the math- I know when you'll come back to your sector, how old my Duke will be. Teach him anything I can't teach him myself and please, please let him know he was conceived in love. Born in love. Wanted and adored. As long as I live, I'll be loving him and fighting for him. Hundreds of years, and he's the one thing I'm _truly_ proud of.

"I'll be careful, but Duke is all that matters. Please, Four. Mara. Help him when I can't. And tell him I'm sorry to leave this burden on his shoulders.

"If the Gods are merciful, I will see you again. Be careful. If you fall... everything falls. I believe in you, though. You were the best of us all. I meant what I told you in the lab. "

Two kissed her fingers, holding her hand up, the frosted Maze visible on her wrist. Mara kissed her own fingers, touching them to the fingers on the flickering image before Two- _Illeana_ \- faded away.

Duke's arms tightened around Mara.

"My mom... _loved_ me?"

Mara wasn't even trying to fight the tears, letting them fall freely. "Of course she did, Duke. She loved your dad, too. Oh Duke, I'm the reason your dad went fanatic. If One hadn't fixated on me, Three and your mom would be alive. I ruined your life. I'm so, so sorry."

She wrapped her arms around herself, gripping Duke's arms where they were wrapped around her.

"Shh. No. Stop. You didn't make him do this. You saw what she said. She didn't blame you and neither do I. Come on, sweetheart, we've faced enough looney-tunes. You gonna take the blame for them, too?"

Mara fought to control her breathing. It was time to be there for Duke, not go back to the guilt-cycle that had made Audrey push everyone away before the Barn. She rose to kneel, turning to wrap her arms around Duke, straddling his legs.

"Oh Duke, I'm sorry. I wasn't.... I wasn't thinking right. It's about you and your family. Your mother. Are you okay?"

"The things she said about my dad...."

"Sorrow changes people. Especially if he couldn't understand why she ran. But One isn't here, there haven't been any signs of him yet. If he got to Two, why isn't he back? I need to send out a scout, see if I can get anything on her. Is... that okay? Or do you want me to let it be?"

Duke pressed his face against her neck as she held him. "Do you think there's a chance she could be alive?"

"If she could stay a step ahead of One.... yes, I do. He's more vicious, but she was smarter. Otherwise, why hasn't he shown up? But only, _only_ if you're okay with it. I grew up with her, but she's your mom. Your choice."

"Any danger in looking?"

She considered carefully- this was not a time for rash decisions. "He knew when I was in the Void. He knows Howard is dead. He's going to come looking at some point. The Aether won't lead him... honestly, we're _always_ in danger. I think it's safer to at least try to find out what happened to her. To be prepared. But only if you're okay with it."

"Do it." Duke muttered.

Mara carefully took another orb, pressing it to her lips and whispering before she crushed it and blew, the dust flying off to do her bidding.

"I haven't explained about you to Nathan. It's your business more than it is mine. We'll talk to him together when you're ready."

"What did she mean about saying something in a lab?" Duke's voice was rough.

Mara sighed, pressing her forehead to Duke's.

"During one of the last rounds of serum injections, she said she wished I was her sister. I told her I didn't- that it was hard enough seeing the other subjects dying, carted out by the truckload like garbage. I couldn't bear it if she was my sister and I couldn't help her. I didn't mean to be unkind, I _did_ love her like a sister. But I kept imagining she'd be wheeled out with the next batch of corpses."

They were silent for several moments, just holding each other, lost in thought.

"Still doesn't make the love less real. I'm okay."

"I'll figure it out, Duke. I promise. If she's alive, I'll do my best to bring her back. Obviously the sector system has fallen apart with Three gone, Two breaking the leash and One off doing whatever it is he does. Sadly, Haven really _is_ probably the only safe sector. I'm not going to bother trying to contact the Cause. If they blame me for One going rogue and driving the others off, they're probably more dangerous to us than One."

"Will they come after you?" Duke sounded worried.

"I doubt it. Like I told you before, you have to be different to navigate the Void. I'll check to see if the Thinnies are still sealed, though. If someone does come, they'd have to cross somewhere else and travel overland, and I'll set emergency warning transponders. Anyone else from my world crosses over, that will let me know immediately, let me be prepared."

"Us. Let _us_ be prepared."

"She asked me to protect you."

"She said I was the only one who could help you. She said to train me. We're a package deal, Lexie, you said it yourself. We fight _together_."

"I love you, Duke. I'm going to try to earn the love you've given me. I want to deserve you. Please, please forgive me. For everything- your parents, your childhood, for being such an idiot before. I'm sorry. I caused you so much pain and I never meant to."

He put a finger against her lips. "There's nothing to forgive. None of this was your fault. I'm just grateful to have you with me."

She hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Hey Mara?"

She wiped her eyes, sniffling. "Yeah?"

"It's officially morning, and you don't snore. Will you still move in with me?"

A small, teary chuckle escaped her. "If you want me to, yes."

Duke smiled, hugging her hard. "Let's do it today, okay? No more waiting."

She kissed him, leaning into his embrace. Suddenly her body went rigid, she pushed herself up and ran for the bathroom.

Oh crap. There was no more stalling time. He had to tell her.


	16. Well That Explains A Lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven isn't mine. It's all of ours.

Duke jumped up to follow Lexie to the bathroom, kneeling to hold her hair.

When she was done retching, he helped her up and she washed her face, brushing her teeth with the extra toothbrush he'd found for her the night before. Her face looked terrible, purple and blue dark as paint around her eye. She didn't bother looking at her chest.

Even with her stomach empty, every few seconds she would gag around the toothbrush. She finally rinsed, growling.

"I swear if one of those bastards gave me the flu my first day back, there will be blood."

Duke sighed, one hand on her back. "Let's go out to the living room. We need to talk."

She held his hand as they walked out to sit on the couch, still in nothing but Duke's shirt, leaning on him a little. She just stared at him, wondering what he wanted to say.

He brought her a glass of water, which she sipped gratefully. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"Lexie... Mara. I- shit I don't even know how to say this."

"It's okay, Duke. You can tell me anything. I'm a big girl."

"You don't have the flu, Lexie."

"What, food poisoning?"

"No, sweetheart. I'm... you said nobody ever made it into the Barn with you but me, right?"

"Only James, but he wasn't even really with me. I was kept solitary except for the simulations."

"And while we were there, six months passed here."

"Yes. Why?"

"Lexie. Mara. Audrey...."

"I told you one name at a time is fine, Duke." She was chuckling as she spoke.

"Sweetheart, you're not sick. You're pregnant."

She froze, laughter dying in her throat, not even breathing as she processed his words. Finally she asked, "Why do you think that, Duke?"

"I just... I knew when you threw up from Nate's pancakes. Then the little Aether-girl said so."

"She did not! She said..." her voice got quiet, remembering. "She said you had a question that she was answering."

"I was thinking you were pregnant. We... a couple of days for us, six months for here, and we weren't... uh... _careful_."

Her jaw dropped, uninjured eye going very wide. Her breathing sped up as she thought it through.

"Oh, dear Gods."

"I'm sorry, Lexie! I was so caught up in you, I didn't even think..."

"You're sorry? _You're_ sorry? Oh my gods, oh my gods." She stood, pacing with her hands on her head as she talked faster and faster.

"You just barely asked me to move in. You're apologizing because _I'm_ strapping you down with a baby! I don't know how to be a mother! Not one of my personalities has any decent frame of reference! My birth parents gave me to the Cause, I barely remember what they looked like! My last mother whored me out for drugs. Audrey never had a mother, just a string of horrendous foster homes. Lucy was raised by her dad! Sarah went from nannies to a boarding school!

"Oh gods, I'm going to be a terrible mother, and I've hurt you so much already. I'll be a constant disappointment. You won't be able to trust me alone for two minutes. I couldn't even have a _dog_ , Duke!

"I thought maybe I'd have time to learn. I want to give you kids, but I know nothing! You'll end up hating me, she'll end up hating me. Two is going to kill me herself!" The tears were pouring from her eyes as she paced.

Her hands moved to her stomach, and suddenly she wasn't talking to Duke anymore.

"It's not you, I swear! I'm not sorry you're there, but I'm so sorry you're stuck with _me_. Your dad will be great, but I don't know anything! I've been pregnant twice. James ran away, thinking I tried to kill him, the other I _did_ kill! To save my pathetic skin, because he was growing in the wrong place. Oh gods, what have I gotten you into?"

Duke was trying to get close, but her pacing had no rhyme or reason. Fine. Words. Words would at least slow her down.

"Lexie, you're having a panic attack."

Bingo! She stopped her manic pacing, repeating her words from the day before.

"I don't panic. _Ever_."

It was time enough for Duke to grab her, holding her against him.

"Then sit down and talk to me, _please_."

She was trembling as he led her to the sofa, pulling her into his lap. He kissed her temple.

"Lexie, yesterday you said you wanted kids."

"I do. I just don't want them stuck with a terrible, incompetent mother. I don't want you to hate me for being stupid and an abject failure of a parent. I didn't raise James, and he was a perfectly happy, well-adjusted man until he came looking for me!"

"Hey, that's _enough_." His sharp tone shut her up. Duke never used that tone on her. Even when she deserved it. "Are you ready to listen now?"

She jerked a quick nod, her lips pressed together.

"I had a crappy father. Do you think I'm going to be a crappy father?"

"No, Duke, of course not. You'll be the best father ever."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I know you."

"In the Barn, you said nobody ever knew you as well as me. Is that still true?"

"Of course."

"Well I know that you'll be an excellent mom. Shit, me and Nate can't be any easier than a kid. And I don't _ever_ want to hear you say you killed your baby. I swear, if you say that again I'll bring Dave down here. Even _I_ know ectopic pregnancies aren't viable for mother or child. _Please_ calm down."

Her hand was still against her belly, but it was stroking gently, unconsciously.

"Can you teach me?" She was whispering.

"Nope. But we can learn together. You said we could do _anything_ together."

She pressed her face to his shoulder, trying to slow her heart and breathing.

"That's why you were acting so strange. Why you put non-alcoholic beer in my glass."

"Wait, you could tell?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "You find me a single decent bartender who can't tell real beer from non-alcoholic, Duke. Oldest trick in the book. You get a customer with a fake I.D. you give them fake beer. I just thought you were out of the real stuff."

He blushed. "I keep forgetting about the bartending. But I didn't want to say anything, especially not in front of Nate. Last thing I wanted was you jumping in front of another punch."

"That must be why I died. Because I can be resuscitated. Our bodies work differently where I'm from, they're designed to protect the fetus at all costs. All of my systems must have shut down to protect the baby until I could be revived."

"You died because of _me_?" Duke asked quietly, sounding strangled.

"No. My _main systems_ shut down to protect the baby. We're designed that way. It's not your fault. And neither of us could have known. You restarted my cardiac and respiratory functions. I'm fine. But gods, I don't have the first clue how far along I am. Conception in the Void is.... well, it's unheard of.

"If it had been the first time, I'd be what... maybe four or five months in. The last time, maybe a month, 6 weeks."

She was in thinking mode now, which at least distracted her enough to calm her down. Duke loved her brain, her ability to compartmentalize.

She leaned back more, stretching her torso to feel around her stomach.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Palpating. Feeling to see if I can narrow down the timeframe. Feel, do you feel a bump or is it my imagination?"

Duke spread his fingers over her abdomen, pressing gently. "There's a definite lump between your hip bones."

"So not the last time. I'll send the Aether to check, but... first guess, either the first time or on the bar. There was a lot of magic floating around that first time. That explains the female Aetherling. Girls tend to make morning sickness last longer. And the constant horniness. Second trimester is hormone central. Enjoy me while you can, Duke. I'm going to be a walrus soon."

"You will not. You'll be even more beautiful than you are now. If that's even possible."

She rested her head against him. "You honestly believe I won't be terrible?"

"I swear, I _know_ you'll be fantastic."

"He's right. You'll be an amazing mom." Nathan's voice sounded from the shadows of the hallway.

Duke and Lexie froze. Duke hadn't even breathed since Nathan's voice sounded. Lexie had to get her head together, to take lead.

"Nathan, I-" He held his hand up to stop her, coming to sit in a chair across from them.

"No, please let me talk. I thought a lot last night. About everything. The past year- hell, the past decade- and about what the common denominator was. I realized it was me. Not my inability to feel, but my inability to process _feelings_. I chased you both away.

"I thought about what you said about Sarah, too. I don't know much about fate, but it was that newspaper picture about James, the picture of Lucy, that made Audrey stay. I don't want to run anymore. Numb inside to match my outsides. I don't want to stay distant from the people I _love_."

His voice was gruff, soft and sad; yet she could hear the faintest note of determination, too.

"If you meant what you said last night, I agree with you. If this changes that, I understand. But I'm in, if you want, and I think you'll be great parents.

"Duke, I have to say something, but don't let it change your decision. I _never_  stopped loving you. Never. I hate the way I treated you- both of you- and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

The room was silent enough that Lexie heard seagulls. Praying that Duke had been paying attention to her explanation, Lexie traced a heart and a question mark on Duke's skin, where her body would hide the signal. He traced a star and an exclamation point against Lexie, making her smile.

"Nathan, come here." Lexie tapped the seat next to them and he moved to sit with them.

"You're finally talking about your feelings, and I'm so proud of you for that. Can you still love us, like this? Can you deal with the gossip, the strain the town is going to put on us?"

"If I have you guys, I can deal with anything. I understand that now. I didn't know what I had until you were both gone. I don't want to lose you again. If that's as a partner, a lover- great. If it just means being a supportive friend and uncle, that's okay too."

He meant it, she could feel it. Every word rang with sincerity.

Lexie squeezed Duke's knee and reached out to take Nathan's hand. She focused on his fingers again, and pulled Duke's hand over too. Nathan's fingers wound around Duke's, fascinated by the feeling. Nathan brought his fingers up to touch Duke's face, and Duke pressed a kiss to the exploring fingers.

Lexie stood, her crazed anxiety- not _panic_ , damnit- finally receding. She strode to pull Duke's knife out, turning back to the men.

"It's time, Duke."

"Lexie, you hardly slept, you haven't eaten. This could hurt you."

"No, Duke. You're the one who does most of the work. I can handle this. We need to talk, we need to explain the rest to Nathan. But right now, we have to do this."

She approached them, watching Nathan.

"The reason we didn't fix you first is because we needed to be sure it worked properly. Please don't think it was because we didn't want to. Just... can I do something first?"

Nathan nodded, fingers touching Duke's again. It was Audrey who put the knife down and knelt in front of Nathan, gazing into his eyes as she brought her hands to his jaw. She raised her face, pulling him in to kiss him.

Audrey had fantasized about kissing Nathan before. This was _nothing_ like that.

His hands reached for her, pulling her up into his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck to hold her as they kissed.

But the real difference between her daydreams and reality was the _honesty_. He had finally opened up to her and to Duke, and for once there were no fears or lies between them. Well, almost none. She rubbed her cheek against Nathan's, reaching to take one of Duke's hands.

"There's more to discuss, more you should know about both of us- about everything. But no more lies. I love Duke and I love you. I already know how much you love each other. If you commit to this, to us, your life will never be normal, Nathan. But we'll be here with you forever. We'll fix your Trouble either way, but if you want to be with us the way we want to be with you, it means taking us as we are. I'm not human, and Duke's only half. We have to un-Trouble the people, to fix them. We were born with jobs, and that will affect you. Do you still want us?"

"More than anything."

She kissed him again, her tongue stroking his, one arm around him, the other hand still gripping Duke's. That kiss could have lasted hours, and she felt Nathan harden under her. For a moment she desperately wanted to take him, while he could still feel only her. But a true partnership in the team needed them on equal footing.

She broke the kiss, panting. "When you make love to me, I don't want to be the only thing you can feel. Not just hunger for touch."

She reached out for the knife, staring at Duke until he nodded.

"I have to cut you, Nathan. Not much, but enough for a decent blood sample. Do you understand?"

He nodded, still staring at her with raw desire. She pressed her lips to his gently, before she took his hand, staring into his eyes as she sliced into his palm. She let the blood pool, bringing Duke's hand against Nathan's.

Duke's eyes shone silver, and suddenly he and Nathan were kissing- _more_ than kissing. She could see what they were like as hormonal teenagers as they grappled, Duke overcome with the Aether, Nathan with the rush of sensation and both with the love that they'd missed so much.

Lexie was wiping at her own eyes when Duke's tears flew to her waiting hand. She carefully reformed the Aether to a dormant orb, holding it gently as she watched the men she loved. The men who loved her. She rubbed her stomach gently, secure in the knowledge that she couldn't be a terrible mother, not with them to lean on.


	17. Learning Curve

Lexie had been watching the show in rapt fascination. She'd never known watching two grown men make out was so _hot_.

But it really, really was.

Nathan had gone without feeling anything for so long, and Duke was an expert in all manner of non-verbal communication. She was learning a lot, actually. She was being very quiet, watching these men get lost in each other.

Nathan liked to give hickeys.

At some point, he and Duke had developed some kind of touch-shorthand, because every time Duke touched him certain ways, Nathan would respond. A fingertip across the top of his spine, and Nathan's head fell back, making room for Duke to kiss and nibble his way up Nathan's throat. When Duke stroked Nathan's belly button, Nathan pulled his shirt off.

It was very complex, but they understood each other perfectly.

Now, Lexie was torn. Half of her was a kid in a candy shop- she wanted to dive in and touch and taste and play with _everything_. Which is why she was at war with her other half. The Good Half. The one who always waited patiently, who made sure everyone was taken care of before she took care of herself. The problem wasn't the different personalities she'd had, the problem was that they were all still _her_.

So she watched as she knelt on the floor, trying to give them time to get reacquainted.

When Nathan positioned Duke, she bit her lip.

'Nathan who could feel' was pretty take-charge. Duke responded to his commands, moving himself just so, and Lexie held her breath, watching Duke's face as Nathan pushed into him.

Oh dear gods.

Duke's eye rolled, his face turning red, and she could see him whispering curses, watched the way his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks.

Nathan was kissing his shoulder, moving with single-minded intensity. He looked serious, but she knew him well- these were looks saved for something precious. His hands roamed over Duke's back and chest, and Duke melted into each touch.

So the conundrum here was; did she wait patiently or did she give in to the hormones and jump in?

The generous, selfless thing would be to let them have their time together, wait for them to be ready for her. Maybe even make them breakfast.

There _was_ a way to do both. She could give them their time, remind Duke that she was still his _last_ and still be thoughtful.

Smiling deviously, still wearing nothing but Duke's t-shirt, she crawled toward them where Duke was kneeling on the couch, gripping the arm with one hand, the back with the other. She reached and wrapped her hand around him, stroking him confidently.

His eyes popped wide with surprise as he looked at her, his pupils dilated with lust. She gave him a look that clearly said 'Is this okay?' and he nodded slowly, eyes locked on hers. She stared up, never breaking eye contact as she rubbed him, stroking the other hand up his chest.

Lexie could feel and hear when Nathan was close; Duke's breath stuttered and she wrapped both hands around him, squeezing and rubbing. The sounds they made when they came together- she'd never heard such beautiful music.

Lexie slipped away to wash her hands, watching Nathan whisper to Duke.

 _Now_ she should make them breakfast, she thought. But there was no food to cook. They hadn't gone shopping. And all of Audrey's things, what had they done with those? Everything from her apartment had been safe because technically Duke owned the apartment. But what about her bank account? Had she been reported dead? Was she going to have to live as Lexie on paper?

She absolutely _had_ to find out how far along she was. How long before the pregnancy wasn't able to be hidden.

And, like it or not, she had to figure out where she belonged with Duke and Nathan. With his Trouble cured, there was a distinct chance that Nathan wouldn't be drawn to her anymore. If that was the case, they'd have to figure out how to share Duke, because while Lexie understood they had history, she wasn't so selfless that she'd just bow out, especially when she was _pregnant_.

Which she was also trying to wrap her head around.

She finally just grabbed a couple bottles of water and brought them to the living room. Duke was lying back on the couch, looking exhausted. Nathan was nowhere to be seen.

"Shower?" Lexie guessed.

Duke nodded.

"You okay?"

"I don't even know where the fuck I am. It's like the last few days have been one thing after another with no time to reset in between."

Lexie barked a laugh. "That's because it has. Literally. I'm just glad they didn't do something _really_ stupid like report you dead or missing. I don't know what the hell they did with me. I'm afraid to try and use my bank account, because if they reported me dead- and they had no reason not to, no reason to think I'd come back myself- there will be security flags on my stuff. If I'm stuck here as just Lexie, then we're going to have to go on a scavenger hunt to find my hidden caches."

Duke looked interested. "You have hidden caches?"

"All over Haven. Every lifetime, I always had some bizarre hope that I'd find a way to come back. So I left things for myself. Money, mementos. Obviously I never came back for any, so they're still here."

"Did Audrey leave one?"

She nodded. "In the _Gull_ , where you'd be the only one who might find it."

"Wait, where'd you find a hiding place there? I _know_ all the hiding spots there."

"Loose floorboard next to the bar."

"You little minx."

"Duke... are _we_ okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nathan is fixed, Duke. If you think it's not a big deal that you're the first person he reached for, you're blind. He's in love with you, and now that he's not Troubled, there's a distinct possibility that he won't be interested in me the same way anymore. Obviously I can share, but we'll have to figure a lot out. I don't want you afraid that I'll freak out if you don't want me to stay here. As soon as I know where my money is, I have an apartment."

"Whoa, hold up. No way, you agreed to move in. No take-backs."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not a take-back, Duke. I'm just saying you might want some breathing room to think about your options."

"Well I don't. In fact, you're too far away, over there. Come here and let me put my head in your lap."

She shook her head, but laughed and came over anyway, slipping under him when he sat up. When he lay back again, she ran her fingers through his hair, thinking of the little Aetherling. She wondered if that was exactly how their child would look. Aether didn't make a habit of guessing, so probably.

"We need to talk about the baby, Duke."

He turned his head and kissed her stomach. "What about?"

"We're not going to be able to hide this for long. We need to get Vince on our side. Fast."

"Well, he seemed pretty okay with your demands last night. We'll talk to him."

They heard Nathan whistling as he came down the hall and they rolled their eyes at each other, smiling.

Nathan was wearing his jeans and a t-shirt he must have stolen from Duke. It somehow struck Lexie as humorous that she and Nathan were both wearing Duke's shirts; hormones and the sheer absurdity of the situation first made her giggle, and then she was laughing hysterically, gripping her ribs as her eyes watered.

The boys were looking at her for an explanation, and she tried, she really did. But every time she opened her mouth she would just laugh helplessly again.

"You broke her." Nathan accused Duke dryly.

"Oh no, you cannot blame this on me. She was like this when I got her." Duke gestured at himself and Lexie realized he was shirtless. Which, of course, made her laugh harder. She pointed at each of them, trying to control her breathing. "Everyone is wearing Duke's shirts... but him." Lexie managed to get out, still laughing. "Sorry Duke, you can only have as many partners as you have clothes for. You'll have to vote someone off the ship." She laughed loudly and was cut off by a sharp jab- coming from _inside_ her. Her eyed went very wide.

"Did you feel that, Duke?" The question was foolish- he was staring at her stomach and rubbing his cheek in wonder.

"I felt it." He whispered. "Was that..."

"Yeah. Yes. So. First time."

"Did- did the baby move?" Nathan asked hesitantly.

"Come here, Nathan." She held her hand out for his, pressing it to her stomach and then laughing loudly again. The little jab was very apparent. Nathan looked awestruck, he and Duke staring and touching her stomach like it was the most amazing thing on earth. She let them poke and prod and coo for awhile before she shooed them off, laughing.

"I need to get the stuff from my apartment, we have to find out what happened to my accounts, and we need groceries." Lexie declared.

Nathan blushed, looking down. "Your accounts are active. I kept them up. They're fine. Here." He reached into his pocket, pulling out her old wallet. She smiled, looking through it. Everything exactly the same, right down to the $1.47 in cash she had and the receipt for the latte that had eaten up the rest of the $5.00. Her stomach rolled with the remembered anxiety.

"I... I don't have to be afraid of the Barn anymore." Mara looked up, the overriding consciousness that held all the others, her eyes shining. "They can't just take me anymore. it doesn't take away all the other fears, but... wow." She took a long moment to just think about it. No more losses. No more false personalities. No more paying for someone else's mistake. No deadline.

It didn't remove her fear of One, of the Guard, of the simple humans in this town who were often more distressing than all the paranormal crap put together. But there had been a shift in power, an obvious one. With Duke being more than human, and them being able to remove Troubles, they had a little extra protection- add in her access to Aether and having her memory back?

Look out Haven. There's a new sheriff in town.

"We need to see Dwight. And we should go soon. Word will have spread about Jordan, and people will be looking to Dwight for answers."

"I washed your clothes for you, Lexie."

"Duke, I'm starting to think you have a laundry fetish. You'll make us a _fabulous_ house husband." She kissed Duke's forehead and slid out from under him. He muttered sourly as his pillow walked away.

"And I'm hungry." Lexie called back as she went to get dressed.

She was happy to hear them rushing after her.

* * *

She was redressed in her outfit from yesterday- still commando- as they climbed into the Bronco with Nathan. She called Dwight from her cell.

"Hendrickson."

"Hi boss."

"Oh thank goodness. I was trying to give you some time to acclimate, but after what happened with Jordan, my phone has been ringing off the hook. Are you going to be coming by?" He sounded hopeful, not demanding, and Lexie took pity.

"Of course, Dwight. I knew this would happen, I just thought it might take them closer to 24 hours. Can you promise me that Nathan and Duke will be protected? I already told Vince, anyone gets hurt and I'm out. And you _need_ Duke to remove the Troubles."

"No, I get it, and nobody is getting hurt, you have my word, Lexie."

Right, see- this is why Mara didn't like to lie, as a rule. When you lied, you had to remember which lie you've told which person, and it gets confusing. She'd told Vince and Dave, not Dwight.

"We'll have to talk first. I'll come in the back, just in case."

"Thanks Lexie, we really owe you for stepping in like this."

Okay, she felt a little guilty. "It's nothing. Talk to you soon."

"Hell, I have to tell Dwight. He's getting mobbed and he doesn't even have a clue who I am. Poor guy."

Duke nudged her. "Hey, relax. We can only un-Trouble them one at a time anyway, right?"

"Yeah. And you do most of the work."

They turned the corner and saw the crowd outside the station, and Duke lost his 'devil-may-care' attitude, his jaw falling open as he tried to take in the sheer numbers.

"Back entrance may not be as big a help as we'd thought." Nathan muttered.

"Maybe Dwight's just having a hot-stove meeting?" Lexie asked hopefully.

Duke's careful eyes were taking in every detail. "Nate, you should stay between me and Lexie."

"I agree with Duke, but we're walking in there side-by-side. You can't show fear, got it? Heads high. Trust me, we belong here. Walk quickly, don't run." She kept a hand on Duke as he slid out, pulling him until they could put Nathan between them. Lexie wanted to put her hands over her belly, but didn't want to draw attention. She pulled her best Lexie look out- both bored and impressed, like a New York night life girl at the Grand Ol' Opry- and pulled them forward. The moment they came into view, the murmuring hit them like a wave. These were people who wanted to believe, clearly, and seeing that familiar face, back early but different, just like the stories they thought were fairy tales- it was the closest to a miracle most of them had ever come. Here was Audrey back from the dead, yet she was a different person, if you believed the whispers. Nobody seemed to buy the official 'amnesia' excuse, and she nodded politely at everyone who waved or called her name.

They made it through the crowd and in without incident, and Mara stretched her neck, trying to relax. Now it was time to be the strongest version of herself. Her _original_ self. Lexie had brought them as far as she could. It was up to Mara and Audrey to take the next lap.

They headed for Dwight's office, and continued to smile and nod to everyone who greeted them. They hustled into Dwight's office and she closed the door behind her with a relieved sigh. "Was it that bad? I haven't been out there in an hour, it may have gotten worse." Dwight's worried voice greeted them, and Mara took a deep breath.

She turned to Dwight with her familiar smile. "It's a crowd the Rev would have given a lot to get." She agreed with him as she moved forward to give him a hug. "I'm sorry, Dwight, I had to think fast to avoid bloodshed. It's okay. I already talked to Vince. I didn't forget this time, I got the rest of me back."

Dwight lifted her as he returned her hug, holding her gratefully close. "Scared the hell out of us this time, Detective. Can we not do that again?"

She kissed his cheek as he gently set her down. "I have no intention of leaving, but we do have a bad guy we should set a BOLO on, unfortunately. I drew you a sketch, here. Some people know him as 'One', some 'The Hunter' and a few by his birth name; William. He's very gregarious, very friendly. He seems harmless. So did Gacy. This guy is just as bad. I should have some advance notice, but I can't promise if and how much. I'll try though."

Dwight nodded. "And you can fix the Troubles?"

She squeezed Duke's hand. "Yes, we can. Well, Duke can. I'm just an assistant. We can only do one at a time, and he can't process an unlimited amount. Maybe 30 a day. More is dangerous. I know, there's no way we're going to take care of them quickly or fairly. I can't think of a fair way honestly. We can do who's here. We'll make time to go to people who can't get to us. There is no way to make it 'fair'. I'll try to explain, just back me up."

"You know I'll have your back. What's your play?"

"We're going to try honesty. Should be novel."

* * *

It was novel, at least. They heard and rejected a dozen plans to make the Trouble Cure 'fair'. No matter what they did, they truly couldn't find a way without directly classifying one Trouble as 'better' or 'worse' than another. Every idea they tried came back to one thing- if you're here, you get first treatment. They set aside time for house calls, especially for deadly Troubles.

They managed to actually un-Trouble two dozen of the people who came to the station. Dwight was one of them. They set hours for the next day and most of the crowd dispersed. She saw several people taking pictures of her, and decided that she could happily do without the fame and notoriety.

Duke liked it even less. He hated being in a crowd when he was on guard, and knowing that the woman all these people were drooling over was pregnant was making him more uptight. His voice got a little snappy occasionally, and Mara would place a gentle hand on his arm, trying to keep him calm. They stopped for the day after they cured Trouble #26 and the grateful man was a little overenthusiastic in his thanks, grabbing her to hug her. Duke must have been overtired, because he pulled the man away, eyes glowing silver, with a muttered "Hands off the merchandise, buddy."

Dwight had officers clearing the crowd out, and Mara rubbed Duke's shoulders. "Calm, Duke. He was just... excited."

"You were turning blue!"

"He was _really_ excited." Mara allowed, squeezing his tense muscles until he growled and relaxed.

Nathan was just as vigilant, reminding her of an owl as his head swiveled, constantly looking for a threat. "Seriously, will you guys calm down? I set a sentinel orb two seconds after we walked in, I will _know_ if something is dangerous." She poked Nathan in the ribs, trying to get him to relax just a little.

"I know you did, but it just keeps floating there, it's not doing anything."

"That's a good thing. When it starts doing something, then someone wants to cause trouble."

"I don't want trouble, I just wish I knew what to look for if it reacts."

"You won't have to look, I'll hear it."

There was a new (to her) doctor in town, though she obviously knew Nathan and Duke. Mara watched as she talked to the boys, still shaking her hands out. She stilled as the doctor eyed her and gave her a polite smile as she tried to feel her out. Gloria. She was the kind of person who saw too much, and she knew how to manipulate people. If Mara could learn to trust Gloria, they'd probably make good friends.

Sure enough, as Mara was shaking her hand, Gloria said, "So how far along are you?" The men froze visibly, but the crowd had dispersed, Mara knew there was no nearby danger- she was just trying to shake them up and see what information fell out.

Mara didn't blink- this was 'Manipulation 101'. She'd gotten beyond that before she was even given to the Cause. She just gave a friendly smile and an off-hand "About 18 weeks, I'm guessing. I don't know for sure. You study kinesthesiology?"

Gloria's return smile was appraising. Mara could only guess what she'd been told about Lexie, but she was fairly certain none of it was very complimentary of her mental capacity, so Gloria was testing her- and she was testing Gloria right back. "Oh, just a hobby. Makes my job easier if I understand how people moved before they croaked."

"Makes sense to me. Same with my work. It's easier to repair a Trouble if I know how it works first."

"So we understand each other. Let's cut the crap and just be honest. How'd you come back pregnant?"

Oh thank gods. She much preferred doing without the games. "I'm assuming that you understand the need for discretion here? I haven't told anyone yet."

"I won't say a word. It'll be a nice change, not being the last to know something."

Mara met her eyes without blinking. "I got pregnant in the Barn. I've never come back pregnant because there's never been anyone in the Barn with me."

Gloria gestured between her and Duke. "So, Duke followed you in, and... Duke Junior followed you out?"

Mara laughed, startling the baby again. "An appropriate way to put it, yes."

"When are you going to tell Vince and Dave and Dwight?"

"I can't really put it off. I'd rather they hear it from me and not through random gossip. Probably today."

"Well, congratulations. Don't let them push you around."

"Never have before, why would I start now?"

They laughed as Nathan and Duke stared at each other in confusion. Gloria patted them each on the cheek, making her way to talk to someone else.

"Wait, so- what the hell just happened?" Duke asked, gesturing wildly.

"She was trying to shake me up, see if I would slip and reveal something. I think she might be someone we want on our side, and there was no point in lying- she already knew I was pregnant. This way, having told her the truth, she'll be more likely to watch out for us if something goes wrong."

Nathan put a hand on Duke's arm to calm him down. "But what are you going to say about everything else?"

"Vince and Dave already know I'm not _just_ Lexie. Not much point trying to keep the rest secret. Are you two prepared to be outed? Because people are going to want to know who I'm with, and unless one of you has changed their minds, I intend to tell the truth."

She looked at them both seriously. " _Have_ either of you changed your minds? Nathan, if fixing you altered the way you felt about me, please just be honest." She was fidgeting with her rings, but trying to appear calm.

"I- have I changed my mind? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. I'm not the only thing you can feel anymore, Nathan."

He closed the gap between them, his hands strong where they grasped her arms. "I don't care if you fixed me. You and Duke are still all I feel. You're all I want to feel. No, I haven't changed my mind. If you want to tell everyone today, that just gives Duke less time to change his mind, so I think it's a good idea."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Fine."

She headed for Dwight, where he was talking to Vince and Dave in one corner. "Everything okay, gentlemen?"

"Just trying to make a list of the most dangerous cases, get an idea how many people we want to get to as priority cases. Are you guys feeling okay? Will you have any issues from fixing those Troubles?" Dwight looked concerned, and she felt an unusual pain from him. Something Audrey hadn't had the ability to follow, but Mara did. A daughter. A _lost_ daughter. Lost because of One's tainted gift.

Audrey was momentarily enraged- there had been so many deaths from One's stupid games, but how had she never known Dwight had lost a daughter?

And was there a way to bring her back? She considered. If the spirit had gone on, there was no chance. But if, like so many spirits in Haven, she was sticking around, watching out for her father... the science was sound, but she didn't want to say anything unless she absolutely knew if she could pull it off.

Mara pulled out an orb, crushed it and blew, sending it off to see if Lizzy Hendrickson was still within reach, then settled her expression and addressed the men around her.

"We're fine. Duke does most of the work. It just makes my fingers feel funny. But we wanted to tell you something. A couple of things, really. First, although I haven't had any real preference between my names, I think it's important that nobody gets used to calling me 'Mara'. If One shows up- The Hunter, the bad guy I warned you about, he'll do recon on the town before he lets me know he's here. If he hears people using my real name, he'll know I'm whole. It's better to avoid that. Audrey or Lexie unless we're alone, okay?"

Dave rested a hand on her back as he asked her, "What would he do if he knew you were whole?" He traced an inverted cross on her back and a question mark. She traced a figure-8 on him in return.

"He'd increase the stakes. As long as be believes another personality is in control, he won't be on guard, he won't be afraid."

Dwight looked thoughtful. "So, since we asked you to play Audrey for the town, we should call you Audrey?"

"Yeah, may as well. Make life easier for everyone. Just remember that I'm still different- I won't always act the way you expect me to. I'm still affected by Lexie's personality. But you should also know- I'm pregnant. Somewhere around 18 weeks. I wouldn't dump everything on you like this, but it's not something I can hide for long."

"Congratulations!" Dwight picked her up in another bear hug, and she laughed, clinging to him. Who'd have guessed that Dwight would be the baby-crazy one? Dave and Vince were still spluttering, eyes round as saucers.

"18 weeks? So you conceived in the Barn? I didn't think that was possible." Vince uttered in astonishment.

"We had no way of knowing. Nobody's ever come in _with me_ before. I was always kept solitary. I don't know if anyone has ever been conceived in the Void before. But, you know what happens when the world tells Duke he can't do something." She straightened her shirt as Dwight set her down.

"He does it anyway." Dave nodded.

"Exactly."

"People, I'm right here, come on."

She rubbed his back gently. "Sorry, but it's true. The quickest way to get anything done is to tell you it can't _be_ done. You've made a habit of flipping the universe the middle finger, love."

He looked slightly mollified, laying his hand on her hip. "It doesn't sound so bad when you say it like that. It actually sounds pretty good."

Dwight was looking between Nathan and Duke, obviously wondering but hesitant to ask.

"We're going to all stay together. It's the only thing that makes sense." Audrey said firmly.

She saw Dwight's shoulders relax. "Oh, good. I'm really happy for you guys."

"So are we." Dave said sternly. "This is wonderful news. You deserve to enjoy some happiness."

She smiled at them, the hormones making her lean towards tears. She wasn't okay with tears. "So, okay, I'm moving to the _Rouge_. Considering the turn-out today, I'd appreciate if you keep that quiet. I don't want to accidentally shoot someone because they don't want to deal with the line. We'll be back tomorrow to deal with the next group."

There was a surge of energy around them, and for a moment Audrey thought her orb had come back to her. Then Jennifer appeared at Dwight's side, bouncing up to kiss his cheek. "Did I miss anything? That was crazy, it reminded me of the old tent revivals the churches threw when I was growing up."

"Just telling the guys that we're expecting."

Jennifer squealed, and Audrey pressed a hand to her belly when the baby startled.

"Oh my gosh, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you! Is everything good, are you happy? You're happy, right? And you're all together, right? Because you should be."

Audrey held her hands up. "Calm down, Jennifer. We're together, everything is fine. And go ahead and call me Audrey. That's what everyone else is going to do. You remember hearing about One? We need to watch out for him. He could show up anywhere, at any time. If you happen to hear anything over Void-radio, please call me immediately. Doesn't matter what time. We need clothes and groceries, though, so if you guys need us, just call."

"Why don't we walk you out? Until we know a little more about what's going on. I know, you don't want special treatment. But I would feel better if you let me keep an extra eye on you. Good news can make people just as crazed as bad news."

"Sure, Dwight. If you feel better, of course. We'll be extra cautious."

She had to give out several hugs, and they finally broke for the door, Dwight walking them all the way to the Bronco and then checking it over as Audrey let the Aether check it out too.

Audrey insisted on sitting against the door, giving Duke the middle. Her stomach was wheeling madly, and she leaned her head out the window. "Can we grab some clothes from the apartment and just drop me at the _Rouge_ please? I don't think a grocery store is somewhere I belong right now." She leaned forward, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Duke took her hand, deft fingers pressing acupressure spots to help nausea. "You can't let your stomach get so empty. It'll make the morning sickness worse."

She held her ribs tight, gagging every few seconds. They made it to the apartment in record time, and each man took armloads of hung clothes from the closet while Audrey bagged up everything else. She still lived efficiently- everything she owned could be transported anywhere in a single trip. She had to pull out one extra box for the framed photos and the mementos she'd collected, but they had all her things in one trip.

They got back to the _Rouge_ and she unpacked just as quickly, hanging her clothes next to Duke's and tossing her delicate items in a drawer he'd cleared out for her. She put a framed picture of the three of them on the bedside table as she sat, looking around. "This is a first. I've never lived with someone. Not since the lab, at least. I'm worried you don't know what you've gotten yourself into."

Duke sat next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her. She rested her head against his shoulder. "I know exactly what I'm doing. I want you here. I've wanted you here for a long time. You're the one who should be worried. You can't get rid of me now."

Nathan came in, writing on a pad of paper with the pen cap in his mouth and his forehead furrowed.

Somehow, he made making a grocery list look kind of adorable.

"Did either of you know Dwight had a daughter?" Audrey asked quietly.

Nathan nodded. "That's what brought him to Haven, really. Her Trouble activated and they couldn't save her. After that, Dwight had no reason not to join."

Audrey shot him a suspicious look. "They wanted him to join the Guard, and he had refused because of his daughter?"

"As far as I understand it, yes."

"Did anyone find that the least bit convenient? The Guard wants someone, suddenly his daughter's Trouble activates and there just happens to be a shooting near her?"

Duke looked at her, surprised. "Usually I'm the suspicious one. You think the Guard has something to do with shooting a kid?"

"Last week, I would have doubted it. Now? Yeah, I do. Something has gone very wrong in the Guard. It could be the human factor or it could be that One interfered at some point. Either way, that child was taken before her time, and I'm going to fix it if I can."

"Fix it?" Nathan asked. "Fix it how, Parker? She's _dead_. I wish like hell that wasn't so, but it is."

"That really depends. If her spirit has moved on, then no, I can't do anything. But if she's hanging around Dwight? Aether can do a lot of amazing things."

"You know, I'm going to just not worry about it until you're actively bringing things back to life." Duke said it like it was the most normal thing in the world, and again it was the absurdity of the situation that made her laugh.

"Okay, beautiful, get in bed."

"Why?"

"Because you're sick and you need to lie down. We'll do the grocery shopping."

"I'm not sick, I'm pregnant. Morning sickness can happen at any hour. I don't need to go to bed."

"I'd feel better if you did."

She stared at him mutinously. "I'll change my clothes, but I'm not an invalid and there is zero chance I'm letting you set this precedent. Now go. Make sure nobody gets shot at the grocery store."

They stared each other down, and Duke finally threw his hands in the air, muttering about her being stubborn. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Nathan closed in on her and she eyed him curiously. "We didn't have much time earlier, but I wanted to give you something."

She cocked her head and watched him curiously. She honestly wasn't completely sure where she stood with him now.

So when he moved forward, pulling him tight against him to kiss her, she was surprised and relieved.

And oh, the kiss! It was amazing, leaving even that last, fantastic kiss in the dust. Even with his feeling restored, he still loved her and he still wanted her. It was a huge relief, and she wrapped her arms up around his neck, pulling him closer.

Duke had to clear his throat three times and warn them that Audrey would get dangerous when she got hungry again before they each stepped back, blushing. She gave them each a chaste kiss of the cheek before she locked the door behind them.

Right on time for her orb to come zooming back.


	18. Breath of Life

Audrey opened her hand, inviting the orb home. She stretched out, absorbing the information as she changed into cotton lounge pants and a tank top, letting her hair hang down her back.

She had to put some thought into this. Bringing a spirit back was the easy part. Explaining a little girl being alive when the people responsible for her murder might still be around- that was the tricky bit. She had to be able to keep her safe, and telling friend from foe in this town was a serious challenge.

She went back to the living room, sitting with her backpack of Aether in her lap. She set 4 sentinel orbs as a security precaution, rolling a fifth thoughtfully between her hands. She picked up her phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jordan. It's- uh, Audrey. Gods, sorry, too many names. I think we're set on Audrey for now. Do you have time to talk a little?"

Jordan sounded surprised. "Sure, of course. What's up?"

"Do you know much about when Dwight joined the Guard?"

"Oh, wow. Not really. I know he'd been approached before, but a personal tragedy made him join. Kind of like the rest of us."

"Have you heard anything, I don't know, odd or suspicious? Is there anyone you just- don't trust?"

Jordan's voice dropped- she knew Audrey was fishing. "You going to tell me what's going on?"

"If you want me to, absolutely. But I don't want to put you in a bad position. I know these are your friends."

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Audrey sighed. "I know, I'm just- I hate putting you in the middle. I don't want it to seem like I expect you to tell me things just because you're better now. That's not why we helped you."

"Messaged received. But I'm offering. Is Dwight in some kind of trouble?"

"Not Dwight, per se. But... I think someone may have manipulated things, set up the situation that drove him to join the Guard."

"Just tell me. It'll stay between us."

"I think someone triggered his daughter's Trouble to activate, and then arranged the 'accidental shooting' so she'd die and he'd join the Guard." Audrey blurted.

Nothing but stunned silence.

"Jordan?"

"I heard you. I- is this something you think has happened before?"

Audrey heard the unasked question; was this something that had happened to Jordan? But it was a very, very good question.

"I don't know anything for sure, but it seems like when someone turns up with a gift that would benefit the Guard, eventually something happens that brings that individual in. I'm sure you can understand from my experience why I don't believe in coincidence."

"I'll keep my ears open, but I don't know anything offhand. But if I hear something, I'll let you know."

"Jordan, be careful. Don't do anything that could draw attention. You've got to keep yourself safe. "

"I will be, don't worry."

"Oh! I do have some news. I'm pregnant. Just found out today."

"I... how... I mean, congratulations, obviously. How, though? How far along are you?"

She stretched out on the couch to look at her belly as they talked. If she paid attention, she could see the roundness pushing against her abdominal muscles. She remembered this from James. Staying small and inconspicuous until she'd woken up one day in her fifth month to see her muscles had given up and she was suddenly nothing  _but_  belly.

"I got pregnant in the Barn. We're guessing that I'm about 18 weeks, but there's no way to be sure."

"Wow. That's amazing. Congratulations. Are you excited?"

"Scared. I had a kind of meltdown when I found out. I don't have much experience with maternal... well, anything, really. None at all."

If anyone had told her a month ago that she'd be talking to Jordan like old friends, she'd have been certain a Trouble was to blame. Of course, she also wouldn't have believed she was planning to bring someone back to life.

"You'll be great, Audrey. Isn't your job basically parenting this whole town?"

"You have a point."

"How is Duke taking it?"

Audrey laughed. "He figured it out before me. I think he had an easier time dealing with the actual pregnancy than with trying to get up the nerve to tell me. He honest to gods tried to trick me with non-alcoholic beer when we ate last night. And protective! He actually lifted a man off me at the station because he was hugging me too hard after we cured his Trouble. And he tried to  _send me to bed_  because of morning sickness. Someone is going to get hurt at this rate. Probably him."

Jordan was laughing, and the sound made Audrey smile. She'd never gotten to hear Jordan laugh much- she hadn't had much to laugh  _about_ \- and it was a lovely sound. For a moment, she felt immensely proud. She and Duke had saved Jordan, they were the reason she was finally able to laugh. To touch. It was a huge win.  _Huge_.

Of course, if it wasn't for her connection with One, she never would have been Troubled to begin with.

That was the problem with Haven. Every win came with two more losses. One was still out there, and they didn't know where. Two-  _Illeana_ \- was either dead or in hiding. They had to find her. And she was fairly certain that someone in the Guard was worse than Troubled- he was willing to murder children to make his group stronger. Just like her and the Cause. It was all history repeating.

She shook her head, focusing on Jordan. "I gave Dwight sketches of a guy I need you guys to keep watch for. We don't know when he's coming, but he  _will_  come, that's one thing I know. So please, please be careful. If there's someone in the Guard who's willing to do these things, we don't know how they'll react to people getting cured. If you notice anyone who seems really upset about the cure, and about the Guard members choosing to be cured, let me know."

Jordan got quiet, her voice serious. "You don't think it's Vince, do you?"

"I don't want to. But I can't do my job if I automatically just exclude people because of our friendship. We've all learned that lesson the hard way. No, I don't think it's him, but I have to watch him. To be fair and to keep everyone safe, I have to watch as many people as possible. The only people I can be certain it's  _not_  are Duke, Nathan, Dave, you and Dwight."

Jordan didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "You believe it's not me?"

"I know it's not you. I don't have a doubt in my mind."

There were tears in Jordan's voice when she spoke. "Why? Why do you believe me? What reason do you have to trust me?"

"We may not have been best friends, but you're a good person. You were cut off by something beyond your control and yeah, you were angry- you had a right to be. But even at your angriest or most desperate, I know you would never trigger a child and I know you're not a murderer. We don't have to stay mired in the past. We can choose to move past where we were."

"Yeah. That sounds good. You fix Nathan yet?"

"We did. We're going to all stay together. He was with Duke before I came along anyway."

"Really? How did I not know this? Why doesn't anyone ever tell me the  _interesting_  gossip?"

"Seriously! No one told me, either. I had to figure it out and listen to them both tap-dance about how it was a long time ago and the other one couldn't possibly love them anymore. I feel for them, I do, but I just wanted to smack them both upside the head."

"That's an adjustment period that I don't envy you. Do you need anything I can help with?"

"No thanks. I sent the guys to go grocery shopping. We have set hours at the station again tomorrow. I told Dwight that Duke can't process more than 30 Troubles a day, so it's going to be a lot of arguing and getting people to wait their turns. Aside from deadly Troubles, we can't just act like any one Trouble is more important than another.

"Will you do me a favor? If you run into trouble- either you see One or you get an idea about who the person working within the Guard is- text me something innocuous, like a picture of a cat or something. I'll know you're in trouble and we'll trace your phone. That way if someone sees your phone, they'll have no reason to be suspicious."

"That's- a pretty good idea. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll let you know if I see or hear anything. I don't want to think that anyone I know would do something like that."

"Neither do I, but I don't think I'm wrong. Just take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to call for anything. Even if you just have a bad feeling. Okay?"

"Yes, mom." Jordan teased.

Audrey chuckled. "I'll talk to you soon."

She hung up, pressing both palms against the slight swell of her abdomen.

Dear gods, there was a baby Crocker in there. A part of Duke that had combined with a part of her and started growing, creating something bigger and more special that the sum of it's parts. This tiny portion of Duke had stayed, refusing to leave her.

He was really, truly in love with her.

Audrey had entertained the thought of being with Duke, of course. But she'd never imagined that she could be enough- enough to hold his attention, enough to make living with all the weirdness that permeated her daily life worth the hassle. But she'd been honest and he'd still wanted her. He'd wanted her enough that she'd conceived a child in the Void. Something that, if she believed the reports, had  _never_  happened.

Duke made his own path everywhere he went. She was pretty damned lucky to be with him for the ride.

She was starting to doze when another orb came zipping in, dancing excitedly around her head. She held her hand out without opening her eyes.

She sat straight up, blank eyes watching pictures playing inside her head, and she was still frozen in place when Duke and Nathan brought the groceries in, setting bags on the counters.

"Hey beautiful! We got you- Audrey, sweetheart, what happened?" Duke ran to her side, Nathan just a step behind. Audrey's eyes moved, zipping around like she was watching rapid movement. She didn't seem to be at all aware of their presence.

"Audrey, please, talk to us. What's going on?" Duke's eyes narrowed, and he urgently said, " _Mara_! Listen to me!"

She jerked, and her head turned toward Duke, her eyes still scanning. "The orb came back."

"From this morning?" Duke was trying to act calm, but she heard the strain in his voice. She nodded. "What did it say?"

"That- that's the part I'm trying to understand! The pictures don't make sense. It's got to be a test. One undoubtedly tried to track her this way at some point. It's not a big deal- if the orb makes contact, she wouldn't have to let it return to him. The fact that it came back with anything at all- Duke, someone sent this back to me. I think it was your mom."

Nathan put his hand on Duke's shoulder, squeezing. "Duke explained what he could while we were out. You're saying she's alive?"

"I didn't see or hear her directly, but there aren't many people who could have sent this back to me, and I know it feels nothing like One. So unless Dave somehow figured out how to control Aether, this came from Two. Sorry, Illeana." Audrey stood and started pacing. "She's being careful, of course she is. She's spent Duke's entire life hiding. The only way for her to know it's a clean message from me is for her to see us, Duke. Come here, stand with me."

Audrey let go of the orb and it hovered it mid-air as she stood next to Duke. She reached to pull his hand over, set it on her belly and raised her wrist with the flaming Maze in front of her. She let the orb scan and record them, then she stepped back to take it in her hand. "This should be enough. Let her see you, see me, see that the image isn't faked." She crushed the orb and blew, and it flew off again.

"I'm sorry, Duke, I didn't mean to scare you. I had just gotten the orb and I was trying to process the information from it. I had the sentinels set, but they aren't set to go off just from your presence."

Duke folded her up in a hug, squeezing her against him. "It's fine. We're fine. Just scared us a little. It's been a busy week."

When he let go, she followed the boys to the kitchen so she could help put things away. "Speaking of orbs and busy weeks, there's something I want to discuss with you. I talked to Jordan while you were gone. She's going to keep an eye out- carefully, I told her not to draw any attention to herself- but the more I hear, the more certain I am that someone related to the Guard is arranging to get the recruits they want. They may have even purposely triggered Jordan."

"Parker, you realize what you're saying?"

"Yes, Nathan. I'm saying that someone is triggering activation, killing kids and maybe even committing rape to get stronger members."

That shut them all up for a long moment as they continued to put things away. "And no," she said softly, "I haven't ruled Vince himself out. I want to, but as the leader of the Guard, he's been in a position to have that kind of power. The only ones I know it  _isn't_  are you two, Dave, Jordan and Dwight. It could be anyone else."

"What did Jordan say?" Nathan asked.

"She's going to watch, but she understands where I'm coming from. She's nervous, but so am I. We worked out a code- if she sends any of us cat pictures, we get to her right away. There's not much else I can do just yet. If I can get all the members in one spot and have active Aether? I could have them sniffed out pretty quick. But they're never in one place all at once. I need to talk to Dwight. I need to make sure I can bring her back first, and I wanted you two here when I did that. I know the science behind it, but it's nothing I've ever done myself."

Duke closed the freezer and leaned back against it, staring. "Are you telling me right now that you're going to bring Dwight's daughter  _back from the dead_? Is that what's happening here?"

Audrey gave him a pained half-smile. "Yes."

"And why is it you never told me you could do this?"

"Because I never have, Duke. And because I didn't think I'd have call to. If she'd died of natural causes, or if she'd been grown- it wouldn't have even crossed my mind. But the  _only_  reason that child is dead is because someone purposely triggered her Trouble, knowing what would happen. A Trouble that wouldn't even exist if it weren't for me and One's warped obsession with me.

"So I sent an orb to check and see if she'd moved on or if her spirit was still hanging around here, watching Dwight. She hasn't moved on. With my education and access to Aether, I can help her. I have to. She was just a little girl."

"You're right, you're right. I get it. It's just a lot to absorb. For all of us."

"Do you guys mind if I have him over tonight? I don't feel right relaxing when I know I could be giving him his baby back."

Duke smiled, brushing her hair back and kissing her bruised face gently. "Go for it. I'm going to start dinner anyway."

She hugged him and turned to Nathan. "What about you?"

"It's the right thing to do. Of course you should."

She hugged him too, and he caught her in a kiss that tightened all her muscles and made her toes curl. "We still have plans, so you better call him."

"I. Uh. Right. I was calling. Calling Dwight." It took a moment to gather her scattered thoughts, and she tripped a little as she stepped backwards, gesturing to the phone.

Nathan looked ridiculously pleased with himself as he watched her stammer and blush.

As soon as she turned the corner, out of his line of sight, she leaned against the wall, covering her mouth to hide her embarrassed giggle. Something about kissing Nathan; knowing he wanted her even though he was aware how very  _NotNormal_  she was, and about him knowing she was having dirty thoughts about him and her and Duke and the  _possibilities_... it all just made her feel shy and inexperienced. It was that first-time bout of nerves. Knowing you're going to be having naked time with someone was perfectly adult and rational. That first time, though, and the hours leading up to it? The feelings about them were neither adult nor rational.

Audrey took a deep breath and shook it off. Duke had been spoiling her; it was barely early evening and she was already mentally whining that she hadn't had sex in  _forever_.

She blamed the hormones.

Dwight answered on the first ring.

"Hendrickson."

"Handy, since that's who I dialed."

"Funny."

"Sorry, it's a Lexie thing. Hey, do you think you- or you and Jennifer, depending on if you want her involved- could come over? I want to discuss some things with you. About the Guard and... and your daughter."

There was only a brief hesitation. "Sure, when do you want me there? The boat?"

"Yes, we're on the  _Rouge_ , and whenever you can get here. The sooner the better."

"On my way."

She wandered back into the kitchen, leaning on a counter near Nathan.

The exact same spot where she'd had sex with Duke yesterday. She hopped up to sit, swinging her legs.

The look on Duke's face made her wish she'd had a camera. He had a dishrag over one shoulder, a wooden spoon in his hand, but the moment he saw her sitting there watching him with a telltale glint in her eye and  _that smile_  on her face, he had frozen.

His mouth was partway open, having trailed off mid-word, and a lock of hair was in his eyes. It was like his body was trying to do two things at once. She could practically hear the internal dialogue.

_"So now we need to turn down to a simmer and let it reduce before adding the sherry and-"_

_"Hey, sex!"_

_"What do you mean, Audrey's just sitting on the counter and this is her first official meal since she moved in..."_

_"No, sex. Look, she's in that spot. Look at the eyes! The smile!"_

_"Oh. Well sex does sound pretty good."_

He stalked toward her, looking dangerous. As dangerous as a man can, with a wooden spoon. "You like the show?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I prefer the audience-participation ones, personally. But we don't have much time, so I'll take what I can get." She reached out and grabbed his shirt, tugging him close for a kiss. She couldn't be blamed that her legs locked around his waist the second he was close enough. It must have been a muscle-memory issue. Duke growled and she groaned as their bodies pressed together.

"I don't know what you're growling at. I feel like I haven't had sex in  _years_." Audrey mumbled between kisses.

"I could fix that right now."

"But then your lovely dinner would burn. And we can't very well have a quickie right now, we still haven't even figured out the logistics of our current situation yet."

"Oh, I have that all taken care of. I have a dozen different ideas."

"Of course you do. You're like a black-market boy scout. You know all the sex positions and bondage knots and how to smuggle anything anywhere. You have guns everywhere so you're always prepared. Isn't that even their motto?"

She kissed away his indignant protest.

Nathan placed a hand on her back, fingertips just tickling at the skin of her back above her waistband. His touch gave her chills and left goosebumps. He leaned forward, tilting his head to kiss her neck, and Audrey was suddenly stuck by what a  _beautiful fucking idea_  this was. She could have both their hearts and she got their bodies, too? What had she possibly done to deserve a karmic reward of these proportions?

Whatever it had been, it had been worth it.

Audrey had to break it off, pushing them both back. "As much as I do  _not_  want to stop right now, Dwight is on his way and the stove is on. Jennifer may be with him. We've already scarred her poor ears, let's try to leave her eyes alone." She groaned and pouted. "You have no idea how hard that was." She grumbled as she slid off the counter.

"Oh, I have an idea." Duke replied, equally frustrated.

Nathan smiled, speaking in a purposely low voice, watching the shiver that traveled up her spine. "I'll make it up to you both."

He might make her weak-kneed, but he didn't have all the power in the relationship. She stroked her fingertips over his hand and up his arm, placing her palm against his face as she leaned up to brush her lips against his. "I look forward to learning what you like. And teaching you what  _I_  like." She kissed him, smiling as she backed away licking her lips.

The sentries sounded several seconds before Dwight's knock, and Nathan was still rubbing his ears as Dwight walked in. "I told you you'd know when a sentry went off. Now you know. Sorry Dwight, Jennifer. New security system, Nathan hadn't seen it work yet. Can I get you guys some water or a beer?"

"Sure, a beer would be good, thanks."

Audrey had handed everyone a drink and was reaching for herself when Duke reached into her way. "Nope. Water or juice or tea. We got you plenty of both."

"Oh, right. I'll just stay with the water. But you shouldn't worry so much. My species isn't generally as fragile as humans. Alcohol isn't a danger to the baby. Very little crosses the placental barrier, actually. But water is fine." Audrey kissed his cheek, returning to sit diagonally from Dwight and Jennifer.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but once I knew I couldn't relax until I talked to you. First, I want you to know that nobody told me- When we told you about the baby earlier I felt you reaching, and I realized you-" Audrey trailed off, not knowing how much he'd told Jennifer.

"It's fine Audrey. I told her. She knows everything."

"Oh, good. That's easier. Dwight, do you think there's any chance that someone in the Guard might have had something to do with how you joined?"

His eyes moved to her quickly, narrowing. "I thought about it briefly, but there was no evidence it was anything premeditated. Just another crime."

"You could be right. I don't think so, though. I'm not in on all the Guard secrets, but I know more than I used to. I know that when they find someone with a Trouble and they think that person is useful, it's usually just a matter of time before they get them. And not just you, Dwight. Jordan, for one. Another 'random crime' that just happened to be ideal to activate her Trouble. Depending on their Trouble, they could even be affecting the actions of the criminals in each case. We've seen Troubles that let the person control others. We can talk about that and fix it in a little bit, but there's something else. Your daughter's spirit stayed with you instead of choosing to move on. I... I can bring her  _back_ , Dwight."

He was stunned, eyes wide and confused as he stared at her. "What do you mean? Like talking to a ghost?"

"No, Dwight. She already is a ghost. I mean I can bring her back to life. The Aether can create a body, an ideal replica of her body, and her spirit can take over. It will be her, just her. She'll grow and age just like she should, the only real difference is that she'd be immune to the Troubles, like me."

"Would that make her your daughter?"

Audrey smiled. "I'm sure I'll love her like one, but no. She'll be your daughter, just like before. She'll just be made of stardust that's a bit more like mine. I'm just a conduit for the Aether, Dwight. Some people call Aether 'The Breath of Life' because it  _is_. It creates life. If a person can learn to work with it, to help direct it- anything is possible."

"What do you want? What do you need? What do I have to do to get her back? I'll do anything."

She'd never seen Dwight frantic or desperate, no matter how bad things had gotten. It was a shock. "Nothing, Dwight. Of course I don't want anything from you. I just needed your permission. If you want this, I'm happy to help,"

"Will she come back normal, or will it be like Pet Sematary or something? I don't want her to be bad or dangerous."

"No, Dwight. This isn't a Stephen King book. She'll come back whole, and you're not making any deals with the Devil. I give you my word. I will never purposely hurt anyone in this room."

"Please, Audrey."

She nodded, reaching for her backpack. She took out several orbs, including the one they'd removed from Jordan, and lined them up on the table. She stretched as the Maze burned on her wrist and she knelt on the floor, whispering quietly in words that sounded nothing like English as she crushed several orbs, sprinkling them over the floor.

After the fifth one, it became obvious they were taking on human form, the glowing dust outlining what appeared to be a small, invisible girl. Dwight slid to the floor near Audrey, Jennifer's hand resting on his head, petting his hair.

"Dwight, take your overshirt off, I forgot to get her something to wear."

Audrey lifted the mostly-invisible form, adjusting her position to cradle the child in her lap. Still whispering, she took Jordan's orb from the table, crushing it and pressing her hand to the figure's chest.

A blinding light surrounded her, and the only thing glowing brighter were Audrey's eyes. They burned reddish-gold like the Maze on her wrist. Like she was a living fire, carefully hidden in the body of a human.

There was movement in the light, and a quiet wail, the sound he was certain he remembered from Lizzy's first cry. The cry faded with the light, and then Audrey was on the floor, holding a thin, naked girl in her lap. Dwight stopped breathing completely. He held open his shirt on autopilot, and Audrey pulled it around the girl, but it wasn't until Audrey reached out to hand him his daughter that he moved with any purpose.

He took the unconscious girl gently. She looked and felt just as he remembered, and when he bent forward to sniff her hair, he sobbed. She smelled exactly the same.

She stirred, whining a little. Her eyes fluttered. "Daddy? Did she make me better? She said she could, so that I could live with you again. Can I?"

"Yeah, baby. Yes. I'll never leave you again."

Lizzy smiled sleepily. "I watched over you. I like your friends and Miss Jennifer. Audrey said we would be friends."

Now Jennifer was crying with Dwight, and Audrey leaned against Nathan's legs, exhausted but smiling.

She'd built a town, she'd built a family and she'd saved another family. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Duke came to sit next to her against Nathan's legs, and she reached out to curl her fingers around his.

"You really did it. I didn't doubt you, but it's..."

"Amazing." Nathan finished. "We just witnessed a real miracle. You brought someone back from the dead. Not just resuscitation. You made her a whole new body."

"The Aether did that. I'm just a conduit. The hands and head that direct the Aether."

Duke shook his head. "Sweetheart, you tell yourself whatever you want to. I know what we saw. The Aether chooses to work with you. You brought that girl back. You're modest enough. You made this happen. We're both proud of you, and I love that you still somehow surprise me every day. Thank you."

Dwight wiped his eyes, chuckling. "Thank you, Audrey. Thank you so much. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again, and now you've brought me Jennifer and brought my little girl back to me. I can't ever repay you."

"I don't want to be repaid. I just want you to be happy. I want to make this town what it was supposed to be. A Haven. And Lizzy belonged with her dad."

"Thank you for helping me, Audrey. I didn't think you could really do it; I'm sorry I didn't believe you. At school, the teachers said magic isn't real."

"No, Lizzy, you don't have to be sorry. Most magic is just science we don't understand yet, but the world is a big place. As a general rule, it's a good idea not to trust anyone whose promises are too big. It just so happened that your spirit is super strong, just like your daddy. Because of that, I could find you, and since I knew how to use the Aether-"

"Is that the stardust you told me about?

"Yes. It can do anything, given the right direction. There aren't very many people who can use it very well, so I'm glad I was here to help. I wish I could have helped you sooner."

The answering smile was dazzling. "I'm just glad Daddy can see me. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, kitten."

"Wow, I guess we better go get you home, bug. Start getting a room set up for you. Audrey..."

"She's protected. The Aether keeps her alive, but it's also programmed to protect her. I know it'll take you time, but they can't hurt her. I made sure, since we don't know who we're fighting."

"I was going to say 'Thank you'."

"You already did. and I told you, I'm just happy I could help. I'm the same person I was this morning, Dwight. I'm just your friend."

"There's no such thing as 'just' a friend, Audrey. Not in this town. "

"Alright, you have a point. I have some ideas for cleaning up the Guard, but they can wait. Go home. Be happy."

Everyone stood, and of course Duke noticed that Audrey stayed on the floor. He gave her  _the look_ , and she sullenly replied, "Okay, will you please help me up, Duke?"

He reached down and picked her up, her arms wrapping around his neck as he held her. "You overdid it, didn't you?"

"A little. It's worth it."

They walked their friends to the door and Audrey and Lizzy each leaned out of the arms that held them to hug each other. "My number is in your dad's phone, you call me whenever you need to."

Lizzy smiled shyly, nodding, and they let them out, Nathan closing the door behind them.


	19. Threefold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder- it's rated M for a reason!

After Dwight and his new family left, Duke, Nathan and Audrey sat down for the dinner Duke had prepared. Nathan and Audrey listened and laughed as Duke told them the story of seducing a older woman in South America to get the family recipe.

She had to admit, it was worth it. And Gods knew the woman in question had nothing to complain about. Duke had single-minded precision when it came to food and sex. The rest of the time, his ADD had ADD, but like any good hedonist, he took his luxuries seriously.

Audrey ate every bite, making semi-obscene noises as she chewed. "Did I mention that I love you? Because I do. And this- you may need to make this every week for awhile, because apparently the baby likes it too."

Duke snickered. "I'd have made it for you a year ago if I'd known I'd get this kind of reception. And I thought the way to a  _man's_  heart was through his stomach."

"Actually, it's between the fourth and fifth rib." Audrey countered, almost making Nathan choke. She grinned, running her bare toes up Nathan's leg under the table as she reached over to squeeze Duke's thigh.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. I wasn't sure how long the after-effects would last after Sasquatch."

Audrey pinched the leg she'd been stroking. "Be nice. I may be a little-  _weak_ \- for a few days, but nothing I can't handle. And how worth it! Such a sweet, pretty girl. You wait though, when I find out who's manipulating the Guard like this... I'm not sure I want you to see me like that. I have a dark side, and while I keep it under control, I don't think I'll be able to show mercy. Not this time. People acting out because of their Troubles I understand. It's not their fault. Whoever's doing this is power-mad and _evil_. They're a stain to the symbol. They wear my mark while they rape and kill. It's personally offensive, like they're doing it in my name."

"Not your fault, Parker." Nathan insisted. "It's no reflection on you at all."

"But if it's a member of the Guard, someone wearing _my symbol_ , people who swore to protect the Troubled... then they've made it personal."

She furrowed her brow, thinking. "But not just  _my_  symbol. There were four of us." Disparate pieces clicked together in her brain and she froze. "Oh dear gods. I  _do_  know someone who uses this symbol, someone sociopathic enough to be responsible for these crimes, and manipulative enough to convince someone to do the dirty work for him." Her eyes darted between Duke and Nathan, her face going pale. "It's not Vince, it's  _One_. It has to be! He's the only one who zips around enough, the one who could identify the Troubles he wanted activated. I don't know if he's trying to build an army or just get all the interesting Troubles in one spot, but it makes sense!"

She wanted to get up and pace, to work out the angry, nervous tension in her muscles, but she was still fighting the effects of bringing Lizzy back. Instead, she stayed in her seat, practically vibrating with fury. "I bet I even know how he's doing it. Why the criminals are never caught. He's using  _Aetherlings_. He's forcing Aether to do horrible, terrible things. How did I not see this before?"

Duke grabbed her hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. If it is him, you had no way of even knowing until you made it out of the Barn. You didn't have your own memories, your old personality. You don't think like a scumbag, sweetheart."

"But I  _do_ , Duke! FBI, remember? Maybe it's just one aspect of my personality, but I have the knowledge and training!"

"Duke's right, Audrey. You didn't have the necessary information. The Guard is so secretive, you didn't even know about Dwight's daughter. I'm a cop too, I understand why you're upset, but you couldn't have known."

She sat back and sighed, rubbing her belly. "How dare he? He has no right! This wasn't even his sector! All these people have been hurt because of  _me_ , because of his insane obsession with me. What kills me is  _I don't know why he wants me_. I have no idea, nobody does! He was the first success in the clinical trials, and while it's true I can do things he can't do, he was showing signs of obsession even before they realized I had abilities he didn't. He found out my  _name_. We were never, never addressed by name, the only reason I even know  _his_  name is because he wrote me a note. On a corpse."

She scowled, remembering. "One of my first successful gifts. I'd cured a mental disability in a young man. One accelerated the brain growth, he died of cerebral hemorrhage. One carved, 'Mara, I'll be with you forever, love William' on the poor mans chest. Who does that? Argh!" Audrey growled, frustrated.

Nathan took her other hand, until the three of them were connected. "What he did isn't your fault. You know that. How many times have you given the same speech, Parker? You didn't force him to hurt anyone. If he hadn't fixated on you, he'd just use some other excuse for hurting people."

"Nate's right. If someone wants to hurt people, they'll find a reason. Any reason. It's the same as people who beat kids or their partners. It's not because the person deserves it."

Nathan went rigid, and Audrey felt his distress. "Nathan, stop. You know that's not what he meant."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry- she's right Nate, that's  _not_  what I meant. You and me, we fought each other. You didn't- I know you wouldn't."

"But I did." Nathan's voice was quiet and strained. I hit you so many times."

"Yeah, and I hit you back. It's not the same thing."

Nathan's head flopped back, staring at the ceiling. "It was wrong and I knew it was wrong. You don't hit people you love. And I do love you. Always have. That's why it was so  _wrong_."

"Nate... we fought since we were kids. But you always left your bedroom window open in case I needed somewhere to go. I know you're pissed at yourself, but I'm pissed at  _myself_. That the last thing you felt was me hitting you. For years it fucking haunted me, and I ran from port to port, just trying to get away from my own damn feelings. You think I don't feel the same as you? We hurt  _each other_."

Audrey squeezed both their hands. "You also  _fixed_  each other. You're so caught up being mad at yourselves you've overlooking the good things. You're together- with me, because I'm greedy- and you're both better now. Don't let guilt overcome love. We've all done things we regret, things we're disgusted by. Look, I'll make you two a promise if you do the same for me. I'll try to stop blaming myself for what One has done if you two stop blaming yourself for your mistakes. Please. We're a family now, we need to get ourselves sorted out. We have to do it for the baby. Hell, we have to do it for ourselves. We can't love each other if we're consumed by our own guilt. We can't change the past, so let's change the future."

Duke looked at Nathan. "She's right. I'm not mad at you, I just want you to be happy. I love you."

Nathan sighed, nodding. "I'll try. I promise. I won't hurt you again, Duke. I'm sorry for hurting you before, and I love you, too."

Duke smiled devilishly. "I'll let you make it up to me. Anytime you feel guilty, I'll give you suggestions."

Nathan shook his head, but he chuckled. "I don't know how you make infuriating seem endearing, but you've got a gift for it."

"I've been practicing a long time, Nate. Besides, you're not so bad at it yourself."

Audrey snorted. "No, when Nathan is infuriating, he's just infuriating. You've both got your specialties. But I wouldn't change either of you for the world. Just stop with the guilt. Let love win, because when you two are together on something, you're absolutely magical."

The looks they both turned on her made her feel like her insides were melting. Hundreds of years, so many lives, and she'd never felt such a sense of belonging. That she could bring Nathan and Duke back together? That made her feel powerful, unstoppable.

Before she could get teary and hormonal, she said, "Let's take care of the dishes and find something more...  _productive_  to do."

"You sit, Audrey. You brought a girl back to life, let us handle the dishes." Duke kissed her cheek, standing to take her plate.

"You're spoiling me. But I'll take it. Thank you for dinner, it was wonderful."

"Anytime, beautiful. You know that."

She smiled, rubbing her bruised chest as she watched them clean up together, fascinated by the way they moved around each other when they weren't hiding their feelings. They knew each other so well, every movement synchronized, as though they were dancing together. They didn't even need to speak to know what the other needed, passing things back and forth, letting their fingers linger when they touched.

They were absolutely beautiful. The thought that she had been instrumental in bringing them back to each other, somehow managing to breach the chasm between them and complete the broken circuit, it made her feel  _special_ , something the Cause had tried so hard to keep any of the subjects from feeling. Illeana had been right, they were so much more than numbers, more than just tools. Illeana had brought Duke into the world, and Audrey-  _Mara_ \- would take whatever trouble Illeana gave her for cradle-robbing her son.

Because Mara was sure that nobody else could ever treat Duke the way he deserved.

* * *

An hour later, they had moved to the bedroom, and her earlier nerves were back in spades. They helped her settle into the bed, since she was still a little wobbly on her feet, and they took turns undressing her, both shirtless; Nathan taking his time, dragging his fingers along her skin, lingering on her ribs and against her breasts as he pulled her shirt off. He was kneeling behind her, his breath causing goosebumps as he kissed her neck, pulling her hair out of the way. He ran his fingers up her spine as Duke kissed the inside of her thigh, pulling her panties off.

She shivered in delight, the feelings better than any of her old dreams or fantasies. The looks Nathan and Duke gave each other made her hotter, and Duke knew her this way already, knew the games and words that would wind her tighter, that would wind Nathan up too.

"Nate, I want you to feel something amazing. Hold her from behind- get used to the feel of her skin."

Duke winked at them both, then pulled her legs over his shoulders, hands on her hips as he licked her slowly, making her back arch, her breasts pressing into Nathan's hands.

Dear gods, she'd though she had felt overload with Duke in the Barn. With Nathan kissing her neck, rubbing her breasts as he watched Duke slowly licking her- she felt like she was burning, overloaded on sensation.

Nathan reached to turn her head to the side so his lips could catch hers, his tongue licked at her own as she gasped. His kisses were nothing like what she'd expected from the quiet, easygoing partner she'd grown to love. They were insistent and demanding, possessive and devoted. Once he had her where he could kiss her, his hands went back to her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers- fingers that had once felt  _only_  her, and yet, even whole and able to touch anyone, he still chose to be with her and Duke.

Duke pressed two fingers into her as he continued to swirl his tongue and she keened, long and low as she came apart, shuddering and spasming around Duke's fingers.

There were words exchanged in low voices, and suddenly she was flat on her back, Nathan crawling up between her legs. He rubbed her cheek with his own as he murmured, "Been waiting for this moment forever." His fingers were on her, and then he was pressing into her, and she couldn't breathe.

He gasped himself as she enveloped him, lost in reality better than their best fantasies and he moved slowly at first, learning what she felt like around him and beneath him. The kisses continued, long and deep. His hips rocked into her and she raised her pelvis to meet him. She felt the shift of weight on the bed, and Nathan groaned low in his chest, the sound rolling through her like thunder. His legs pushed hers farther apart, and she realized Duke was touching him, preparing him.

More shifting, sounds she could barely hear over her own panting and Nathan's hushed groans, and the pressure against her increased, Nathan dropping his head to her throat, sucking at her pulse as Duke entered him.

Pressure and counter-pressure, thrusts rocking her body as the three found the rhythm that suited them, Nathan driving harder and deeper into her. She'd wondered why they had waited, sometimes, but now she knew- they needed Duke, that third party that made them whole. That made them both better.

Too much- She climaxed again, squeezing around Nathan as Duke pushed him deeper, and his mouth returned to hers, breathing in her ragged cries. She had barely, barely come down from that when the men altered their rhythm, Nathan rubbing a spot inside her that she hadn't actually been sure existed, and she shouted, the clenching of her muscles and Duke's own ministrations pushing Nathan over the edge as he held his breath, groaning loudly as he filled her, and she knew the sound Duke was making- had made with her so often it was burned into her brain.

They rocked together a few more times, and she saw Duke press a sweet, loving kiss to the side of Nathan's neck as he pulled back, and Nathan kissed Audrey again as he pulled from her body.

Something had stolen her bones, and she lay limp and panting in the center of the bed as the men cleaned themselves up before joining her, one on each side. They lay on their sides facing her, hands twined together over her belly. She was lost for words, unable to form a coherent thought.

"You were right, Duke." Nathan said, a smile in his voice.

"Nate, I would never, never lie to you about something like that."

Audrey pulled in a deep breath, finally finding her voice. "Right about what?"

Nathan smirked, kissing her ear as he whispered, "He said you feel unbelievable after you come."

Her eyes went wide and a soft laugh escaped her. "Nathan! Wow, of all the things I never expected to hear you say... wow. That has to be near the top."

"But you do." Duke insisted. "I mean, you always feel amazing, but you two have been holding out so long- I wanted him to have the full experience."

She laughed louder. "You, I expect to say things like that, Duke. That was-"

"Hot? Amazing? Fucking transformative?" Duke suggested helpfully.

"I was going to say 'unbelievable', but all of those work, too."

Duke leaned up on his elbow to kiss her, a wicked grin on his handsome face. "You make the most unbelievably sexy faces when you come."

She blushed in the dim light, but she was grinning. "I never knew how hot it was watching two men before today."

Nathan looked like he would be purring if he was a cat. "Best night ever."

"Agreed" Audrey and Duke said together.

"At least until tomorrow." Duke added.

She gave him a  _look_. "You have more tricks up your sleeve, Crocker?"

"Gorgeous, I have tricks you've never even thought of. Enough to get you off a different way every day of the month."

"I like the way you think." She managed to lift her head enough to kiss him, and turned to kiss Nathan as well. Then she got to watch Duke and Nathan kiss, and she smiled so widely it made her face ache. "I don't know how I got so lucky."

"Good karma and fantastic taste in men." Duke said seriously.

"I do have fantastic taste." Audrey agreed.

Duke flopped his hand dramatically on the bed. "Why did I promise not to go for the easy jokes?"

"Because you made enough of them throughout your early twenties." Nathan deadpanned, making them both laugh.

They cuddled up together, exhausted, and they were all asleep in minutes.

* * *

It was 4:00AM when Audrey's phone buzzed, and she grabbed it from next to her pillow, where she had put it just in case, before it could wake Nathan and Duke.

"Hello?" She tried not to sound as sleepy as she felt.

"Lexie, I mean Audrey, it's me, Jennifer." Gods, even at 4 in the morning she sounded hyper.

"Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt?"

"No, but you said to call you if I heard voices again. I just heard a man talking."

She was instantly alert. "What did you hear?"

"I don't know who he was talking to, but the man I heard was talking about finding you, about knowing the Barn is gone."

She felt very cold suddenly, whispering, "Was there anything else?"

"He said he was coming to Haven, and that he had to think of a present for you. He said he needed to 'get through Audrey Parker to find Mara' and he- he laughed, but there was no one else talking and then it stopped."

"Thank you for calling me Jennifer, this is really important. Just- be careful of strangers, and call me if you hear  _anything_  else. Are Lizzy and Dwight okay?"

"Yeah, yes, they're still sleeping."

"Okay. Get some rest, Jennifer. Thank you."

She hung up, laying her phone back next to her pillow and trying to get warm.

One was coming.


	20. A Gift

Audrey's first weeks back at work, with her complete personality, were almost unbearably frustrating. The Troubles were simple enough, and they repaired as many as they could each day, but she was having to go through dozens of old case files every day, tracing each misstep, every hint that One had been mucking around in Haven. With her entire personality, the patterns were so obvious she wondered how they had missed them the first time.

They decided together that the only way to explain Lizzy's resurrection was by saying she'd been abducted and the body misidentified- a story so ridiculous that Vince and Dave should have made it up- and they created a case file so full of lies that it would have been more at home in Washington, D.C. than Haven, Maine. It was sloppy, but they couldn't think of anything better, and that alone frustrated her.

The orb she had sent to Duke's mother  _still_  hadn't returned, and between the hormones and the constant worry checking on everyone she cared about, she felt more like a nanny than a cop.

It was Friday, and she was actually looking forward to a day off, which increased her natural  _fear_  of her day off. She was hungry and tired and honestly a little cranky. She finally had her actual self back, and the pregnancy was making her feel out of control again.

Nathan sighed as he rolled his chair over to hers. "What's wrong, Parker? You've been scowling at that same file for 20 minutes without moving. Something is obviously bugging you."

She set her pen down, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm hungry and I'm tired, and I feel like I'm chasing my own tail over here."

"Last I checked, you don't have a tail."

"Funny, Wuornos."

He put a hand on each of her knees, pulling her chair away from the desk. "It's been 10 weeks, Parker. You've been working non-stop, you're barely sleeping and you're trying to grow a whole person. Maybe you should cut yourself some slack."

She sat back in her chair, smiling faintly. She was still wearing Lexie's jewelry, but her mannerisms had bits of all the personalities and she still had Audrey's smile. Her gaze was a little darker, more piercing than it had been before and she had a little more of an edge than she had before the Barn. "Is that right? And what do you suggest I do with all the extra time this slack-cutting will give me?"

He grinned the way he only did when he knew he was breaking a rule- fraternizing at work, this time- and leaned in closer. "I can think of a few things."

"Oh really? And do any of these have to do with  _you_  working too hard?"

His eyes sparkled, trying not to laugh as he pressed his lips to hers. "Maybe a few."

She reached to wrap her arms around his neck, her black tank top riding up just a bit and kissed him back, tilting her head a little and smiling as she murmured, "We shouldn't be doing this here." against his lips.

He didn't pull back but widened his eyes, feigning surprise. "Oh? Where should we be doing this? Because I don't really feel like doing anything else."

She laughed low in her chest. "You are a bad, bad man."

He shrugged, humming a little. "I've learned that 'good' can make you complacent. Make you take the most important things for granted."

"Like what things?"

"This. You and me. Duke. The things that really matter."

"You're learning. Very good, Detective." She kissed him again, smiling.

They jerked apart as the doorknob turned, just getting their arms back to themselves, their chairs still much too close, as the door swung open, relaxing a little as Duke strode into their office, bags in his hand.

"Hey! Is this what my tax money is going toward? You two... canoodling instead of solving crimes? As a citizen, I have to say, I'm personally offended." He set the bags down on Nathan's desk, wagging a finger at them as he started unpacking styrofoam boxes that Audrey suspected- and hoped- had food in them.

She leaned back in her seat, grinning. "Actually, we were just discussing you, smartass. Is that food?" She was already rolling Nathan toward his desk, eager to see what Duke had brought.

"Hands off, Grabby McGrabberson. Watch the master at work." Duke waved her off and she laughed, hands up in the air.

"Okay, okay! Jeeze, Duke, don't get your knickers in a twist."

"I don't wear knickers, thank you very much."

"I know that. Half of Haven knows that, just like we all know you leave the top button of your fly open on purpose."

Nathan laughed, but Duke retorted, "That's for easy access and I have yet to hear you complain."

"I don't have any complaints, I just thought we were taking turns stating the obvious."

He looked at Nathan, expression concerned. "Has she been this lit up all morning, because if she has, you and I need to have another talk about making sure she's fed."

"She was perfectly normal until just a few minutes before you showed up. Don't blame me."

" _She_  is right here and can speak for herself, thank you both. And I'm  _still_  just fine. I'm just a little tired and really hungry, so either feed me or give me sex, but I swear if you keep teasing me you're both sleeping in the hold of the ship.  _Without_  me."

Duke shook his head, his voice rising defensively. "Alright! A little patience, I'm trying to be dramatic and romantic. Aren't women supposed to like that?"

"I like romance just fine, but I'm pregnant and  _hungry_. Right now a peanut butter sandwich sounds romantic! Plus, while referring to me as 'women' is technically accurate, since I'm more than one person- kind of- most women don't like being lumped into generalized gender stereotypes. I can give birth  _and_  carry a gun." She shot Nathan a 'Lexie' look. "I even passed my recertification. I beat Nathan's score."

Nathan gave a deep, morose sigh. "You're really not going to forget about that, are you? I thought you were someone new!"

She smiled brightly. "Nope. I don't forget things. I forgive, but up here?" She tapped her head, "It's like Area 51 or a roach motel. Things go in, but they never come out again."

Duke laughed loudly, grabbing an extra chair and moving Audrey and Nathan to their own spots around the desk. He set drinks in front of them, sitting in the extra chair with his own box. "Enjoy. The station has to give you an hour for lunch anyway, so you can eat with me."

Audrey grinned, wiggling in her seat. She opened her box, squealing happily. "Sushi! Oh gods, this is why I love you, You're brilliant and you don't listen to stupid rules that don't even apply to me." She stuffed a piece of salmon in her mouth, groaning. "When I stopped for coffee this morning, the barista tried to talk me into  _decaf_. Repeatedly. I was seconds from going over that counter or unholstering my weapon. I'm not  _that_  big! 28 weeks- I have another 3 months to go!"

Nathan and Duke exchanged amused looks. Duke tried diplomacy. "Maybe it's because you're glowing, beautiful. And you're showing. You're definitely showing. You know that, you're the one who tried to throw out half your clothes this morning because they didn't fit."

She shrugged, swallowing another bite. "I'm allowed something like four hormonal rants per day. The internet said so, so it must be true, right? Just like the  _Herald_  prints nothing but facts."

Nathan and Duke laughed so hard Duke snorted, and then Audrey was in hysterics. "You snorted!"

Duke coughed into his napkin, trying to explain away his mirth by saying, "I did not, I just had wasabi in my mouth, and when you made me laugh it made my nose burn!"

She looked at him appraisingly while she chewed. "Liar. You heard him snort, Nathan, right?"

Nathan nodded agreeably. "He snorted. Sorry, you snorted, Duke. I'm not incurring her wrath by lying about something that trivial." He popped a piece of tuna in his mouth, shrugging.

"Fine, I snorted, once. But Nathan snores. Every single night he snores."

Audrey shook her head. "We knew that. We knew that the first night, because I had to tell you that he was snoring so you'd still want me to move in. That's not the point."

Duke stared at her innocently as he chewed. "What was the point again?"

Son of a bitch. He  _knew_  how her mind was functioning the last few days, he had been counting on her losing her train of thought and he had been right. She glared a little as she replied, "I don't have to have a point, I have a  _badge._  And a gun!" she added as an aside to Nathan, who groaned theatrically.

Duke laughed at Nathan, and then they were all laughing again.

They finished their lunch, talking together and enjoying each other's company. Audrey had just eaten her last piece- toro, her absolute favorite- when her phone buzzed. She answered with a brisk, "Parker" and her eyebrows furrowed as she listened. "On our way. We're bringing Duke."

She hung up, jaw clenched in frustration. These. These were the worst cases they got, and they never stopped bothering her.

"We're going to the morgue. They got a body."

* * *

Gloria met them in the lobby, pacing a little. That alone was strange. The woman just wasn't anxious, as a rule. Duke was being towed along by Audrey's finger in his belt loop. Nobody  _liked_  going to the morgue, but Duke wasn't even being  _paid_  to, so he was only there, under protest, because Audrey had repeated the message she'd gotten- that the body concerned her directly.

"Oh am I ever glad you've here. I'm not paid enough to do the kind of paperwork this case requires." Audrey looked at her men curiously as the doctor led them down the hall.

"So this body was brought in about an hour ago. He looked pretty normal except for the tag tied around his left wrist, no visible cause of death or sign of a struggle. Things started to go a little haywire about five minutes before I called you."

"What does the tag say?" Audrey asked immediately.

Gloria handed her an evidence bag containing an index card that just said "To: Audrey Parker, Haven Police Department" in elegant, flowing calligraphy. She showed it to the men as Nathan asked, "What do you mean about going haywire?"

She stopped them outside a door. "Oh, you can see that for yourselves and go from there- just remember this body looked normal an hour ago. Except for being dead, of course. No defensive wounds, no petechial hemorrhaging, no ligature marks, no bleeding, no sign of a struggle. All zip. His eyes looked a little weird, the sclera were discolored, but he was unmarked. I pulled a tox screen, obviously that's not back yet, but I hadn't gotten around to the autopsy when I noticed things were changing." She opened the door and led them in.

The body looked like a fresh floral bouquet. He was sprouting flowers from everywhere, some of them starting to bloom. Audrey stared in morbid fascination, noting the types of flowers; all of Mara's- the original's- favorites. Violets, lilies, daffodils, roses- flowers that didn't even bloom in the same months. This was certainly a Trouble, but something felt off about it. She squinted,  _feeling_ around the body with her mind.

She stepped closer, using the back of one knuckle to touch the skin of the corpse. As she did, a discordant wailing filled the room, finally settling into a voice she hadn't heard in ages, but remembered clearly. He sounded so jovial, singing an old song that she recognized.

" _Come with me_

_My love to the sea_

_The sea of love_

_I wanna tell you_

_How much_

_I love you_

_Do you remember_

_When we met, that's the day_

_I knew you were my pet._

_I wanna tell you_

_How much_

_I love you"_

The singing stopped, but the sound continued, cheery voice holding a note of warning.

"Oh, Audrey. The things a guy has to do to get a girl's attention. You have something that belongs to me. A girl, a  _real_  girl under all that personality that you already know is fake. Let her out. Numbnuts isn't the only one who can't feel anyone but you.  _Numb_ nuts, you see what I did there? You're all I feel, all I see. We belong together. Well, not necessarily you, but the real you, the one you've got locked up inside you. I'm gonna wake her up, and we'll show this town a real party. I'll keep in touch."

The voice faded away and she removed her hand. She just stared in silence, it wasn't until Nathan touched her back that she realized she was shaking.

"Parker, are you..." Nathan trailed off, unsure what to say. She just nodded, unable to tear her eyes from the body in front of her.

Duke's hand joined Nathan's on her back and she exhaled loudly. "That's One's voice. He killed this poor man just to send me a message. How retro of him." She murmured the words softly.

"What do you want me to do with him?" Gloria asked.

"He died from one twisting his Trouble. From the amount of flowers here, I'd guess the roots grew into his organs and stopped his heart. Painful and showy. That's how he operates." She sighed, rubbing her temple. "See if his family will agree to cremation and write it up as a heart attack. Does the victim have a next of kin on file?"

"Not that we've found. Seems like a loner. I'll see what I can get arranged. If people start asking questions, do you have a way to... de-foliate him?"

Nodding, Audrey said, "I can use Aether. It wouldn't remove the Trouble, obviously, but it would at least make him look normal." She reached into her pocket, pulling out a small pouch of orbs and crushing one, removing the flowers. When the victim looked normal again, she grimaced. "Let me know if they find any family. I'll handle informing them. Thank you, Gloria. I'll talk to Dwight. If you need anything, let me know."

She patted the doctor's shoulder on the way out, quiet and lost in her thoughts. Duke caught her hand as they walked down the hall. "Hey. You know that wasn't your fault, right? Because it's  _not_  your fault."

"Duke is right, Audrey. He's stalking you, and you know as well as I do that he  _chose_  to kill. Not your fault."

"I know, logically, that it's not my fault. I didn't hurt that man. But it's hard knowing that the only reason he's dead is because his killer is trying to get my attention. And I feel bad- I feel  _terrible_ , because all I could think was,  _'He doesn't know I'm whole'_. I feel bad for being that selfish."

"It's not selfish." Nathan insisted. "It was what we wanted him to think. We're trying to get him off-guard, and he might kill more if he knows you're whole and still aren't responding to him. It was the right choice. I know it's hard, I know, but you have to distance yourself and approach it like any case. You have to think about it like a cop, not the victim."

"I'm  _not_  the victim." Audrey snapped. "I'm a lot of things, 'victim' isn't one of them." She rolled her neck on the way to Dwight's office, and Duke walked behind her, massaging the stiff muscles.

"It's okay, sweetheart, and you know that's not what Nate meant. We know how strong you are. But there's a difference between Target and Hunter- right now you're both. We just want you to feel less like the target and more like the cop. Less strain on you and the baby."

She stopped outside Dwight's office, turning to hug Duke and Nathan, one in each arm. "I get it, and I'm sorry I snapped at you guys. I'm just frustrated. Honestly, if Dwight doesn't need us, until they find the next of kin on the vic for notification, I want to go home. I'm just- done. I'm actually looking forward to a day off, and that freaks me out more than everything else!"

Duke and Nathan laughed, and Nathan murmured, "I'll make sure you have a great day off. Just us and Duke, and we don't have to step outside at all if you don't want to."

She smiled, quickly kissing each of them. "Sounds like exactly what we need." She tuned to the door, straightening her shoulders as she knocked and Dwight called for them to come in.

"Hey Dwight. You happen to talk to Gloria yet?" Audrey asked, easing into a chair.

"She said we got a body, and that you were already on the way. From the looks on your faces, I'm not expecting anything cheery. What's up?"

Audrey handed over the note in the evidence bag, then held her hand up, letting the image of the body and the recording play out for Dwight. "It's One. He did this, he's trying to get my attention."

Dwight stood to sit on the edge of the desk in front of Audrey. Since Lizzy had come back, they'd gotten a lot closer- more than she ever would have expected, even from the sweet giant. He treated her like a beloved sister, giving her daily hugs and making sure she was feeling alright, and Lizzy called her every night before bedtime.

For someone who had grown up without a family, it was immensely gratifying to feel so wanted.

"How are you feeling? I understand you're shocked and upset, but physically, are you and the baby doing alright?"

Audrey nodded, reaching out to squeeze his fingers. "She's dancing, if you want to feel."

That was all the invitation Dwight ever needed- he absolutely loved feeling the baby move under his hands. He smiled fondly as he felt her wiggling and rolling under his hands. "It's so amazing. One of my favorite things when Lizzy's mom was pregnant was being able to see Lizzy move through the skin on her belly. Is the baby doing that yet?"

"She's starting to. She was stretching the other night when they were talking to her and you should have seem the look on their faces when she pressed her feet up, making a big lump through my belly. I've had a child before, but this is so different, having Nathan and Duke with me. More soothing and homey. It's kind of amazing. It's what gets me through some days, honestly, the knowledge that I'll be going home to put my feet up and we can play with the baby and just be happy together. How is Lizzy?"

Dwight smiled, his eyes crinkling. "She's so happy, and she adores Jennifer. It's a different relationship than she has with you, but she's kind of been suggesting that she'd like to have a stepmother. As tricky as a nine year old can, at least. She's not exactly smooth with her hints, but I'm glad- I want her to be a bad liar as long as possible, because if she starts outsmarting me, I'm in a lot of trouble." He took his hands off Audrey's belly with a soft pat, sitting back on the desk again.

He sighed deeply. "You warned us he'd show up. We've been expecting this. I can't think of anything we could have done differently. You've been constantly updating that new system for indexing the Troubles and cures, we've got his picture and BOLO to everyone we can, the Guard has been tripling patrols..."

"And yet he did this. He managed to kill and plant all that evidence, stage the whole crime scene so that it was obviously him. I have sentinel orbs all over town, yet there was no alarm. Oh, by the way; I went over the file you gave me on Lizzy's shooting." She sat forward, intent focus around her eyes.

"I decided to compare ballistics reports and suspect sketches with the DNA sample and suspect sketch from Jordan's case. I had to piss off several people just about that- it turns out they hadn't even completed running her rape kit and nobody can say why. 'It just got erroneously backlogged in the hustle of big city life that this poor, bored, backwater P.D. can't possibly understand.' I had to name-drop on at least five different people before they would even  _listen_  to me. Anyway, they'll be sending results over as soon as they come in. It might be nothing, but it might give us  _something._ "

Dwight crossed his arms, nodding. "You think you have an idea how this guy got past our guards and your sentinels without either of us noticing."

"Yeah, I'm working on a theory, at least. Someone has to be helping him. They'd need to know where the cops were, what areas had the time to set the crime scene for us to find the body at the right time, who to target- there's a lot of information he'd need to know and that would require him or someone working for him to need to spend a decent amount of time here. Enough that an alarm or I should have sensed One or an Aetherling. It has to be a human working for him."

"Well, let me know what you find about the new case and anything you hear about the other two cases. If there's trouble, I'd rather know sooner."

"Uh, Dwight, about that. Seeing as we're waiting on reports from all of those cases and we really haven't taken any time off lately..."

Dwight smiled. "Go ahead. At this rate you're so far over the limit on sick and annual that I won't even discuss you with HR. Get out, we'll call if we need anything."

"Thank you, Dwight. I really appreciate it." He leaned over and helped pull her up rather than watch her try to shove up from the seat. She wean't huge, she wasn't even big, really, but the baby was adjusting her balance and she grudgingly admitted she was a little awkward. Like Nathan pre-cure, most movement was carefully planned out. She hugged him when he was up, and he nodded at Duke and Nathan as they left his office.

They stopped by their office to get their things, and Audrey said, "Duke, did you walk or drive here? I'm just a little... anxious, and I'd rather the three of us not split up right now, even just for the ride home. Until I figure out how he's getting past the Sentinel orbs, I can't safely scan your cars for things that night be dangerous. I'd rather we stick together right now."

Duke heard the silent words; ' _I'm feeling vulnerable and I need you to help me feel safe_ ', and he nodded his understanding. "I left the Land Rover at the  _Gull._ It seems like I can't park anywhere around this area without getting ticketed. It's almost like someone  _purposely told_  other cops to watch for my vehicle."

Audrey laughed, looking at Nathan in surprise. "Still? I thought you stopped that when we came back!"

Nathan didn't even try to look apologetic. in fact, he looked a little cocky, smirking as he shrugged. "He gets a ticket, he has to come by and have one of us fix it."

Audrey shrugged into her jacket, still laughing. "Devious looks good on you. But then, Duke looks good on you too."

Duke laughed and Nathan blushed, following Audrey out of the station.

* * *

Safely back on the  _Rouge_ , Audrey was hanging up her coat and bag, slipping her shoes off her aching feet when Duke announced, "Mandatory massage for the pregnant woman."

She laughed. "Is that a thing? If it is, how did I not know about this? If I'd have know, I'd have started cashing in on those weeks ago!"

"Hey, don't blame me if you didn't do your research. I've never lied to you."

She followed him to the couch where he nestled into a corner, laying one leg cross the back of the couch and patting the seat between his legs. Hmm. That top button was still unbuttoned... She sat, his hands coming up to her hips to help ease her down. Nathan sat on the other end, handing Duke and Audrey each a cup of tea. He pulled her feet into his lap and she decided to lay back against Duke. If she was going to get a foot massage, she was going to relax and enjoy it.

"So what did I do to earn the special treatment? You have to tell me so I can do it again."

Duke clasped his arms around her, hands spread over her belly. He kissed her neck, his facial hair giving her goosebumps. "Nothing special. I'm pretty sure we told you we'd do whatever you needed, whenever you need it."

"You did. I think that maybe this has something to do with that body, though."

Nathan cut in before Duke could speak. "We don't have to have a reason to be good to the people we love."

"Exactly what he said." Duke affirmed.

"You guys are the best. Thank you. I promise to drop the whole 'house arrest' thing soon. I just- he was just  _here_ , and it strikes me that if he's trying to scare or unseat the 'Audrey' personality, all he really has to do is threaten one of you. I don't know anymore if you're safer with me pretending I'm just Audrey or admitting I know who I am."

Duke hugged her tighter. "We're here if you need help deciding, but you need to understand that we're with you either way. If you want to stay Audrey forever, we'll have your back. If you want to come out as Mara tomorrow, that's fine, too. We're together, and that's what matters."

She was about to answer when her muscles clenched and she sat up straight, feet still in Nathan's lap. Her heart thudded erratically and she held her breath.

Her orb was back.


	21. Something About Days Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no copyright!

Grimacing at Duke and Nathan, Mara held out her hand, the Maze shining like fire on her wrist. They knew what to expect this time, so they didn't panic as her body froze, feet still clutched in Nathan's hands as her blank gaze darted back and forth, scanning something only she could see.

They were still anxious though, and after a few minutes, Duke started trying to get her attention.

"Mara, baby, we're trying to be patient, but we're freaking out a little over here. Please snap out of it, we want to be sure you're okay. Come on, sweetheart."

With a shudder, her eyes snapped back into focus, and then she was on her feet, running for the bathroom. Duke held her hair and rubbed her back as Nathan wet a cloth for her face.

She had to admit, the hovering was endearing. She flushed, standing to wash her face and brush her teeth, and then she went back to the couch with her men, pulling them close on either side of her to press against them.

"What happened, baby? Was it her?" Duke was holding her hand, one arm over her shoulders so he could rest the other hand on Nathan's neck.

Mara smiled apologetically, gathering her thoughts.

"Well, Duke, your mother is definitely alive. She understandably unleashed all hell on me for being 'with' you, but she still wants to help us."

She chuckled a little hysterically, "She warned me that One was going to try and make contact. It's so _her_. A day late and a dollar short. I thought that was funny. She's offered to come, but I don't think she should, certainly not yet. She's managed to stay safe so far, I think she should _stay_ safe."

Duke looked surprised. "What do you mean she unleashed hell on you? What the hell for?"

"Duke, she asked me to train you and protect you, not fall in love with you. You're her son, I expected this and I was totally willing to take any amount of trouble she wanted to give me about it, because you're worth it. It's okay."

"No, it is absolutely _not_ okay. I'm a grown man, I can love who I want to, and she doesn't get a say in that. She disappeared for years without so much as a note, and yeah, I know, she did it to protect me and that's great, but mom or not, she doesn't get to come back after this long and try to start telling me who I can be with.

"Hell, if anything, she should be thanking you for explaining her absence. You're the only reason I know I even _have_ a mother. I can understand why she hid and all that, but if she's going to come into our home, she's going to treat you well. I won't stand for her giving you shit for loving me. And she needs to be okay with us and Nathan, and any other kids we have along the way, too. We're a family and we belong together."

She squeezed his hand, nodding. "Okay, it'll be fine. I'll make sure she knows. But do you agree with me that she should stay hidden?"

"Yeah, I do. We're managing, and if she's safe, she should stay where she is. Besides, you don't need mother-in-law drama, you're already over-stressed and pregnant."

Mara jumped a little. "Wow, that hadn't even occurred to me. But she's not my mother in law, we're not married."

Duke shrugged, nonchalant. "That's a temporary situation that I fully intend to rectify."

Mara laughed, shaking her head. "I'll send her an orb in a little bit, tell her to stay put." She sat back, taking a deep breath and blowing it out.

"Duke?"

"Hmm?"

"You remember how you said earlier that you'd do anything I needed?"

"I do, what do you need?"

"A kiss, and then maybe a sandwich before I take a nap? I'm hungry. And if we're taking the afternoon off, we're going to do it right and make sure we take a long nap."

He laughed loudly, grabbed her and gave her a long, slow kiss. "What kind of sandwich?"

"Grilled cheese with avocado. Please. You're a lifesaver."

After she ate, they retired to the bedroom, and she fell asleep to the beautiful sight and sounds of her men making love. Even when she was too tired to participate, she still liked to watch. 

Those sounds began to fade and morph, finally settling into voices as a room appeared around her- white walls, wood floor and a thick slate-blue rug. At a small table, a tiny girl and a young boy, only a little older from what she could tell, were talking. The boy held a diagram of a brain, and as he pointed, the little girl, who looked to be three or four, would say the names.

"Anterior Cingulate. Corpus Callosum. Hypothalamus. Amygdala. Dorsolateral Prefrontal. Lateral Orbitofrontal. Cerebellum. Cereberum. Temporal Lobe. Occipital Lobe. Parietal Lobe. Entorhinal Cortex. Olfactory Bulb. Can we please be done now? I don't want to do this anymore."

"Soon, violet. Come on, just one more. Do it for me?" The boy had such a sweet face, and his blue eyes and golden hair made him took positively angelic. He was wheedling with the little girl, who looked mutinous. Her hair curled around her in cinnamon ringlets that fell to her waist, and her eyes were bright sapphire.

"Hippocampus." The girl remarked in a sullen voice. "Can we be done _now_?"

The boy grinned brightly. "You got them all! I told you you could, you're the smartest girl in the entire world. Come here now, and I'll brush your hair."

With a smile that lit up the whole room, she jumped up and sat in his chair as he stood, turning back to her with a large silver brush, lovingly brushing through every curl and strand.

"Why do we have to study and work all the time? Yesterday during my piano lessons, I heard the children next door _playing_. Why don't we ever get to do that? It's not fair."

The boy tenderly brushed another lock.

"Not all people are born the same, little violet. Some of us are born with higher callings. People have higher expectations of us. I know it's hard, and I'm sorry. At least we're together."

"I don't want a higher calling! I just want to play. Will you play with me? Just a little. We finished our anatomy lesson."

The little girl looked up at the boy with wide, soulful eyes and a quivering lip. He looked so torn, biting his lip, but he finally nodded. "Alright, just a few minutes."

She jumped up, delighted as she ran into his waiting arms, hugging him with all the power her tiny body could muster. She dragged him out to the center of the room, straightening her spine as they waltzed around the room smiling happily at each other. They didn't need the music, they just needed the _dance_.

They jumped and froze as the door flew open, a very, very tall (to them) woman with long brown hair and wrath in her eyes striding into the room.

"What is this? You're supposed to be working on your studies!" She turned her glare to the boy. "I put you in charge because I trusted you! This was _her_ doing, wasn't it?"

The girl, trembling in fright, began to nod, but the little golden boy stepped in front of her, loudly announcing, "No. This was my choice. She did nothing wrong."

The woman eyed him with a strange mix of sorrow and scorn. "If you get attached to her, she will drag you down and ruin your life. Don't fall for that pretty little face. It won't be pretty forever." She took a deep breath, face red with anger.

"But if that's your story, that's your choice. Put your hands on the table."

The boy turned to obey, leaning with his hands against the workdesk with a determined set to his chin. The tiny girl had her hands up over her mouth in horror as the woman reached into the closet, pulling out a long metal rod about half the diameter of her pinky. Frowning darkly, she brought the rod down against the boy's back and the girl jumped, realizing he'd bitten his tongue to stay silent.

The tall woman brought the rod down on him again and he grunted, blood dripping from his mouth. As the woman moved her arm back again, the little girls eyes flared bright violet and she ran forward in a fury, hitting and kicking any piece of the woman she could reach.

There was a moment of shock before the woman spun her glare to the girl and brought the rod down right across her face. The little girl fell to the floor with the next blow, and then she just tried to curl tighter, making the smallest possible target as the strikes fell like rain. Splotches of blood began to seep up into her dress over her ribs, her hands and arms were riddled with welts and slices.

She didn't cry, both children knew there was no point. It had never helped before, why would it now? She did let out one scream when the rod bit into an open wound she'd already caused on one leg. That single show of weakness further infuriated the woman, who struck repeatedly, harder and harder, until the rod broke and when her arm came down again, the sharp end of the rod tore into the girl's calf, piercing it all the way through.

The adult was breathing hard, trying to pat her own hair back into place. "Since you're disinterested in your normal studies, you can study practical application. _You fix this._ " She looked at the girl once more, her expression pure disgust. "I wish they'd take _you_." She spun, her long skirt twirling around her as she slammed and locked the door.

The boy ran to the girl, who was obviously his sister- the woman must have been their mother- dropping to his knees to cradle her against him. "I'm so sorry, little flower, you shouldn't have tried to help me! I could have taken it."

"You only played because of me! You didn't start it at all, I was the one who asked!" She clutched her leg tight to her chest, the rod sticking through at a grotesque angle.

The boy had tears in his eye as he held the girl closer. "I don't care, violet. I would take a thousand beatings if it kept you safe. I love you, and I'd rather protect you with my body if it's all I have. I promise I will get this out of your leg, baby girl."

The lovely girl bit her lip, tears in her eyes as she stared up at him. "I'm so sorry. Thank you for not being angry with me. You're the best brother ever, William."

He looked at her seriously, kissing her head. "I could _never_ be angry with you. You've done nothing wrong. It's going to be alright. _I love you, Mara_."

* * *

 

She woke suddenly and completely, her eyes snapping wide open. Nathan and Duke were curled up next to her, asleep. It was dark, but the clock said it was 11:11.

She took a minute to catch her breath. Just a dream. Too much stress, not enough rest. All the images jumbled up and reorganized in a way to try and make sense of her problems.

Even the excuse sounded hollow to her ears.

She could save the psychoanalysis. She could just use science to solve the problem. It's what she knew, what she'd always know and it had never let her down.

Mara sat up, careful not to wake the men. She'd feel so foolish waking them for a stupid dream when she could easily discern if it was real or fake all by herself.

She checked her hands and arms first. It wasn't obvious, certainly not clearly noticeable, but there were thin, pale scars- clearly defensive wounds- decorating her arm, the arm that had been injured in the dream.

Breath coming a little more quickly, she pulled off her clothes, staring down at her body. Now that she knew what she was looking for, the other stripes were much easier to locate. Ribs, hip, legs... her breath came faster and faster, shallower each time.

 _This wasn't real_.

_This wasn't possible._

She was all one tightly strung nerve as she brought her leg up, looking at her calf.

She held her breath completely as she looked, finally spotting the gouge in her calf, the matching exit wound on the other side.

_nonononononono._

She didn't know enough. Some scars, one possible beating. It didn't mean that her mother had hated her. It didn't mean One was her _brother_.

Mara understood _science_. She needed more information.

Hesitant at first, she switched over to her Aether-sight, letting everything around her turn slightly greenish, but projecting the information she was looking for- medical in this case; scars, fractures and physical defects. She stood and made her way to the large mirror, standing naked as she stared at herself.

She thought she might be sick again, but she refused to lose another meal today.

There were hundreds upon hundreds of scars that were invisible to the naked eye. A long gash from hip to hip. Another that could only be an impalement through the gut.

Another slice across her throat in an apparent attempt at her jugular vein.

Beneath those though; the dozens of fractures. Too many to count on her ribs, at least 16 between all four limbs. Her jaw, cheeks, 4 fractures to her skull. This body told a story if you had the medical training to read it.

This story wasn't unique. A child who had been despised by her mother, who had been beaten, almost killed, and likely experimented on, if the dream was real.

That woman had injured her a dozen different ways a hundred different times, just to see if she could make her brother _repair her_. And he had repaired her every time.

He was her brother, trying to protect her. Keeping her alive. That's how he knew her name, why he was after her. Their ages- if William had been the first success, and they had waited until she was six to take Mara, that explained the difference between being first and last. It explained why she has been such a success. If he had been convinced that she was in trouble, being buried under a constant stream of false identities and unable to save herself, of course he had come to save her.

It's what he did. What he had always done. William saved Mara.

And she had _forgotten him._

The tears flowed fast and relentless as she tore her eyes from the mirror, looking to the men on the bed. The comfort of warm, loving arms.

She took a step toward the bed, and another, trying to fight the wail that was pushing through her chest, but she just heard the beginning of the sound when the room tilted and spun before everything went black.

* * *

 

She woke to the feeling of hands rubbing her scalp and clever fingers manipulating the pressure points in her feet. She blinked repeatedly, noticing she was in Nathan's lap.

"Duke, she's awake." Nathan's light eyes met hers, a relieved smile lighting his face.

She looked down her body toward Duke, and some of the scars seemed to stand out, mocking her.

Dear gods, her _brother_.

"Baby, what happened?" Duke's sweet, questioning voice made the tears come again.

"I had a dream. From my life before I was given up. I- I can't. I'll show you."

She held her hand up, the fiery Maze that she shared with William- and that finally made sense- shining from her wrist as the dream began to play over her hand. After just a few seconds, Duke and Nathan exchanged a glance, and Duke murmured, "That's you, isn't it?"

She laughed darkly. "You figured that out before I did."

She tried looking away, but her eyes were repeatedly drawn back to the dream, trying to see if anything would actually make her remember. She was trying, she looked at everything, but the only thing that made it real for her was the matching scars.

She heard their breath stop as little her attacked her mother, watched the sickening beating, but Mara could hear the unspoken words clearly this time- when her mother had said, "I wish they'd take you." she had meant, "I wish they'd take you _instead_ _of him_ ". It was obvious the awful woman preferred her son, but the girl- Little Mara- had been so small. Barely more than a toddler. She had no power over what was happening around her. Why was she taking the blame?

When they heard the names, she felt Nathan's shocked inhalation and a tic in Duke's jaw. "He was my brother, and _I forgot him_. How many people have suffered and died all because I couldn't remember my own brother? How could I do that to him? How many beatings did he take for me, look how many times he must have healed me! At least a dozen of those injuries would have been fatal. Of course he's after me, he thinks I'm still locked up, helpless and being tortured."

She bit her lip and threw up the Aether-scan of her body, pointing out the different injuries it had revealed. They looked sick, and Duke wiped his eyes but fury rolled off of him in waves. He couldn't even speak- it was Nathan who said, in a voice as cold as the grave, "You were being beaten. Regularly."

Duke's voice was hoarse. "You said you were what, six when you were given to the Cause? You look like you're three in that dream, and you already seemed _used to it_. My god, what the hell kind of person does that?"

She shook her head, frustrated. "We all know that. We all lived it. But I don't understand how I could have forgotten my own brother, when he obviously did so much for me. How could I do that? How could I be so heartless? All those people are dead because I didn't remember my own brother! No wonder he went crazy, he suffered so much. The things the Cause did to us alone could have made him crazy. The _abuse_ alone could have made him crazy."

"No, stop." Nathan's voice was powerful and serious, and he squeezed her leg. "You want to take the blame for repressing memories? Then you have to share it. Because I know I was abused, but I don't remember anything really about Max. I don't remember getting beat. I had no idea Dad wasn't my biological father until Max showed up. I don't even know what he did, but I blocked it. Do you fault me for that?"

Mara shook her head. "Of course not! He was a cruel man who did terrible things to you. That's not your fault."

"And your mother was a cruel woman who did terrible things to you. Simon was a cruel man who did terrible things to Duke. You know what? I wish like hell that his abuse had stopped as young as mine, so that maybe he could have blocked those memories. If he had forgotten me and our connection because of it, I would still want that for him. You were a young child, it's not uncommon to repress traumatic memories when you're that young."

Duke reached to squeeze Nathan's hand, smiling lovingly. "And hell, Mara, for all you know, they took those memories when they were doing all those experiments on you. You said yourself that you have no memories from that time. How many times have they altered your memory? You know it's not only possible, it's probable. You should ask my mother when you send her the orb, beautiful. Make you feel better."

Mara rested her head against Nathan as she started at Duke. "How do you always know what name to use at different times? I've wondered that a lot. I've been very clear that I don't really care, that they're all applicable, but there are some times where I honestly feel more like one than another, but you still somehow always call me by the one I feel most like. How?"

Duke smiled like he was proud of himself. "I can usually tell by either the topic or from the look in your eyes. You're always the same person, obviously, but your eyes look different sometimes. When you start getting really mad or think we need big protection, your eyes turn purple."

She cocked her head. "Violet. Of course. When I get really, super angry my eyes turn red. If I keep it under control, they don't go all the way red, they mix with the blue and turn violet. That's why William kept calling me that!"

"Nate, we're the luckiest guys on the planet. We've got the only woman who has warning colors in her eyes." He moved the blankets so she could get comfortable in the middle, both of them cuddling up against her on their sides, hands resting on her belly.

"You're right." She said finally.

"Who's what now?" Nathan asked.

"Duke is right, I need to ask Illeana if she has any memories. See if I'm the oddity for forgetting, or if William is unusual for remembering."

She rested back, trying to relax.

"Hey, Mara?"

"Yes, Duke?"

"Can you replay anything?"

"Anything that I saw and remember, yes. Why, is there something you want to see?"

"Hell yeah!" He sounded like a kid on Christmas. "There's a ton of stuff I want to see!"

She laughed. "Like what?"

"Well, could you show us the message from the orb you got?"

"Sure. But no getting cranky when she yells at me, we've already discussed it so the point is moot."

"Fair enough. Movie time!"

Laughing quietly, she relaxed between them and brought up the message from the orb.

A lovely woman, roughly the same age as Mara appeared. She had long black hair in a braid that hung to her waist, pale skin like a china doll and large dark eyes. She was absolutely beautiful, and Mara thought she looked like a cross between Snow White and Jordan. Even in jeans and a simple blue sweater she was stunning. Such beauty, but a hardness borne from a lifetime of strife and fear had her sharp and honed as the edge of a knife.

And boy, was she angry.

"Dear gods, Four, have you lost your mind? That's my son! When I asked you to teach him and protect him, I didn't mean about sex! You're pregnant with my son's child? Why not just paint a target on his back? Now One will end up interested in Duke, and I spent all this time away from him to keep him sheltered from our world for nothing!" Frustration evident in every move, she rubbed at her temples, pressing her lips together.

"I can't believe you drug him into this. He's so young,he should have a pretty little human wife, someone safe who adores him and cooks him dinner, not someone like one of us- lab rats who never age and never stop running! Okay, okay. It's fine. Maybe you fell for him when you thought you were human and now you're just trying to make it work. It's fine. I swear to the gods, though, if he gets hurt because of you, you will _wish_ One had found you first."

She talked with her hands, the way Duke did, but the movements were a little more understated. The similarities between the two were impossible to miss though, and even when she was being threatened, Mara couldn't help but smile.

"I'm safe. I'm surrounded with safe people. When my sector got wiped out, some of the Aether-touched families and children who had moved away before the attack started coming back. We've actually got a small town going again, so I'm taking care of them like I did before. Someone has to. We occasionally even take in refugees who have to leave your sector. People who wear our emblem, I think they call themselves 'The Guard', they bring people who can't stay in your sector because we're so remote. I've met a couple of them- one more than the others, dark blonde, big guy, his name is Dwight? He's the one who usually comes. He doesn't know what I am, and I don't even know if you or Duke know him, but he's a good person.

"I can come to you, if you want. Maybe I can help. It has to be better than facing One alone. If you want me to come, just say so. I wouldn't just abandon you, no matter how angry I am. Tell me whatever you need and I'll do my best."

She pushed her sleeves up and the frosted blue and grey Maze on her wrist showed before she stuck her hands in her pockets.

"We've got one Touched boy here- he hears things from inside the Void- he told me that he heard One talking about you. Said that he had to go through someone named Audrey Parker to get to you. I think he's going to try and make contact with you, so please be careful. Maybe you can find this Audrey and see what she knows, why he'd need to go through her to get to you. The message made no sense to me, but hopefully it will help you.

"Is Duke happy? About the baby, I mean. Is he excited? I bet he'll be a wonderful father. I daydream about him all the time. I have no pictures, but the orb you sent, he looks so handsome. Strong and brave. I want him to be safe, but if you're what makes him happy, fine. Just keep him safe. If it works for you, maybe we can each send an orb every week, so if a week goes by without a message, I'll know something is wrong and I'll come. Let me know how I can help, whatever you need me to do.

"Let him know I love him, and that I'm thinking about him. When you decide you need me, I'll come. I am happy for you, truly. I'm just worried about my son. But I trust you to keep him safe. Please. I love you, Four. Mara. I guess I should use your actual name if you're family now. Are you married? Are you going to get married? Never mind, I'm just rambling now. Protect him for me. I hope to hear from you soon."

Illeana blew a kiss, and then the recording stopped.

Mara looked at Duke. "Are you alright?"

He closed his eyes, swallowing hard, but he smiled after a moment. "She's really pretty. Kind of scary. I thought _you_ had a temper. But she seems nice. She talks like she loves me."

"She's very smart. Of course she loves you. If you want to send her a message, I'll send the orb with my questions in a couple of hours. I need to think about how to ask the questions I need answered."

Nathan reached over to poke Duke in the ribs. His eyes gleamed and he had a devious smile. "Remember all those times when we were little and you'd talk about how you thought my mom was pretty? Your mom is hot, Duke. If Dwight weren't dating Jennifer, I'm try to hook him up with your mom. Then Dwight could be your stepdad."

Duke went pale, then red. He pointed at Nathan seriously. "Dude, that is so not funny. Don't even talk about things like that. I can't even- no. Absolutely not. In fact, I think I'm going to start urging Dwight to propose. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do."

Nathan laughed. "We've got the day off tomorrow. Let's get some sleep. If anyone has a bad dream, we're all right here. No running off alone to investigate, okay? We're a team." He leaned in to give each of them a kiss and Duke switched the light off, keeping his head against Mara's on the pillow. She felt a soft kiss on her temple and her body relaxed, sleep creeping in.

She was safe with her boys and her baby, and knowing who William was could only help her. She'd find a way to make them all safe. Maybe she could even help William. They'd come this far, she wouldn't let them lose now.


End file.
